To complain about this man in the women's loos?

[FairfaxAikman]

In the supermarket and had to nip to the loo with toddler DS in tow.
After finishing up in the cubicle I open up the door to come fact to face with a male member of staff.
I'm aware they need to clean the loos, but AIBU to think he should have announced himself before entering so it wasn't such a shock or people could object?
No sign on the main door either (as I've seen elsewhere) so women entering would be unaware.
Should I mention it to customer services?

It's not his presence in and of itself I object to but the lack of warning or opportunity for those who may want to do so to object

Do all men need to announce their presence in a public place for those people? Are you saying you want to complain on behalf of others?

Male cleaners in ladies toilets are to be expected, sign or no sign.

Let's not derail with personal issues
People need to stop with the personal bullshit then if they don't want calling out on it.
They're the so called derailers.

Sometimes feel like this when I walk into the biscuit aisle and a stray man appears.

Shit. A MAN.

I don’t know what to do. Or where to look? What if he reaches for the coconut rings too?
So stressful.

I don’t know what to do. Or where to look? What if he reaches for the coconut rings too? So stressful.
See, in the biscuit aisle a random man I'd find useful, as they're usually taller than me as I'm a short arse and could hand me the high up biscuits lol

But why did he give you a fright? It's a public toilet you'd expect to see other people anyway so why is a male cleaner a fright?

Are you always frightened by men in public places?

TBH YABVVVVU

It's a public toilet you'd expect to see other people anyway so why is a male cleaner a fright?

In a public bog I’d expect to see other women

He made the OP jump, a sign saying ‘male cleaner’ on the door would have sorted the issue for her

YABU - cleaning staff are an exception, even without a sign advising of male attendants. I do not see male cleaning staff on the same level as a random peeping tom. Cleaners deal with the most vile sights in public bathrooms so I imagine they’re desensitised to the concept of ‘women’ and aren’t trying to harass/assault any users.

Earlier this year I was in a major UK train station‘s toilets. All of a sudden I hear radios go off and station staff start to bang on a cubicle door. Turns out there was a random male member of the public inside the female toilets. At first staff thought he was drunk and just accidentally wondered in, but he was sober and refusing to leave for an extended period of time. The mood really shifted, police arrived and tried forcing the door open. I left the toilets so no idea what happened but the situation was very strange and concerning

Yes, some of the replies are very strange. OP didn't help herself with the thread title, but what she's actually saying is she'd have expected there to be a sign and thinks there should be one. This is pretty normal practice when male cleaners are in women's facilities. It's not a particularly controversial point.

Any male cleaner I've seen go in the loos puts up a "Male cleaner" sign and also calls out to anyone there that he's coming to clean

If he didn't do both of these things, then YANBU and you could mention it to management

• they may need to change policy and / or training, in which case it wasn't not his fault

in which case it wasn't not his fault

This happened to me when visiting a small town in the Peak District. There was a sign saying the toilets were being cleaned by a male cleaner. I had no issue with that and said hello as I went in. Trouble was, he continued to have a conversation with me whilst I was in the cubicle! It didn't upset me - I thought it was hilarious, and my H wondered why I was chuckling when I emerged!

Wonder what OP thinks of some of the loos I have seen on holiday. The doors are straight onto the road so any passing Tom Dick or Harry can see you going in and out.

From the title, I thought your post was going to be about a random bloke, not a male cleaner. The toilets have to be cleaned and if he was the only one on duty it would be pointless objecting. I've been in toilets when a male cleaner has been present, if they tried to look underneath the cubicle or over the top I might be bothered but otherwise ....

I'm a short arse and could hand me the high up biscuits

Those are the best biscuits. That's why I married a tall man.

The female cleaners in my work always ask a male to go in and check they are empty and vice versa. I don’t understand why it wouldn’t be a policy to check first!

Agree with kakay06

QueefLatifah laughing laughing laughing so hard.can you teach me how to have such perfectly dry,timed wit :D

It is well known that predators will move themselves into positions where they have easier access to their preferred victims.

Mostly we think this applies to schools and working with vulnerable adults and children but with the increase in voyeurism and these illegal videos of women in loos uploaded to pornography sites, there's a huge market and this doesnt even scratch the surface of the sorts of things traded elsewhere. You have no idea the numbers of males who get off on women peeing or just seeing her in a loo vulnerable and unaware that a man getting a job as a cleaner to get off isn't beyond the realms of possibility.

example 1 www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7514875/Pervert-school-cleaner-51-jailed-setting-secret-camera-spy-female-toilets.html

example 2 www.peterboroughtoday.co.uk/news/crime/new-stamford-college-cleaner-filmed-students-in-toilet-with-hidden-camera-1-8846327

example 3 www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/mums-horror-finding-secret-camera-16524858

example 4 guce.huffingtonpost.co.uk/copyConsent?sessionId=3_cc-session_9c795011-b48a-4795-bd60-ea2a1b8720da&inline=false&lang=en-gb

I am not at all saying this male cleaner is a fetishist or a predator but A sign on the door gives women a lot more power to choose which loos they use, where they feel safe and to opt out and not use that particular loo if they want. A lack of sign removes this choice for women and removes her power.

Its not difficult. A sign doesn't affect you and you can exercise your lack of concern and pee where you want. For the rest of use it makes public life a whole lot harder.

so only men are sexual predators? Wake up!

OMG you're so right! And women can perpetrate DA too, and murder strangers. OH hang on except they do so at an incredibly reduced rate compared to men 🤔 But let's not talk about that, let's get our pompoms out for the boys! Yay NAMALT!

What the actual fuck is this place becoming. This is why Spinster needs to exist.

I read it as the poster was saying that you can't go around in a state of dread of even being wary of going to the toilet when out and about in case a male cleaner was around, because they might have put a spy camera in there.
I mean, it's a bit of an OTT state of paranoia to live in (in my opinion)

Does OP mention being in a state of dread? I thought she said it was a bit of a shock

She said she got a fright 🙄

Okay.... still not the same as going around in a state of dread, is it?

I was referring and replying to the poster that Dllr quoted directly above mine. Not the OP.

OMG you're so right! And women can perpetrate DA too, and murder strangers. OH hang on except they do so at an incredibly reduced rate compared to men 🤔* But let's not talk about that, let's get our pompoms out for the boys! Yay NAMALT!

What the actual fuck is this place becoming. This is why Spinster needs to exist.*

And a sign on the door would've made no difference! Unless OP is saying who wouldn't enter if a man was present, which she hasn't!