DP putting cheese on every single meal I make!

[Chembe]

I really like to cook. I spend probably at least an hour every night making something for tea.

Maybe I'm just over reacting, but my dp puts grated cheddar or double gloucester (depending what's in the house) on every single meal I make. The only exception is curry...

Now I understand that a bit of grated cheese is nice on some things, fajitas, spag bol maybe but I've made two cheesy pasta dishes this week and he's put cheese on them too and it's just really got on my nerves! First was macaroni then tonight I made a tomato and mascarpone sauce, which he said tasted lovely, then takes a couple handfuls of cheese to put on top. Every dinner time he stands and grates cheese to put on the table. ! We've been together 7.5 years so this isn't new but I just want to know if I'm being unreasonable in finding it so frustrating. I find it quite offensive to be honest that none of my meals are palatable without a handful of grated cheese! This turned into a bit of a womble

Wtf? Cauliflower cheese absolutely doesn’t go with a roast! Surely that’s the vegetarian option to the gravy? Urgh! I always wondered who would put that shit on their dinner with beef and gravy.. I should have known I’d find you weirdos on mumsnet!

Nottheduchess
I used to think that. Then I did a weekend walking in Yorkshire and our friend's local pub carvery had it on offer. I was sceptical but actually it's really good and I stand corrected. You don't serve loads of runny sauce though.

But how do you know it hasn't been over salted during cooking? Or indeed, had the perfect amount of salt added? Even if we accept the premise that you will always want more salt, how do you know how much more to add? A tiny bit, or loads? I can see the downside of not tasting and just sprinkling salt on your food, but I can't see the upside.

But it’s MY food once it’s on my plate. Why would anyone else care? Plus, as I’ve already said, I find salt added during cooking very different to salt added at the table.

If I bought a dress tomorrow and told you all the designer had given me instructions on which shoes and accessories I could wear with it, you’d all say it was madness. Why is food any different?

Well, I don't always add cheese but I like to add something to most meals, salad dressing, mustard, horse radish, mint sauce...and it drives DH mad for some reason. He always says "try it without". Ok, I did, but I just like a bit of zing.

I mean, would your DP add cheese to casserole, stew, fried breakfast, pie and chips, soup? If so, maybe that is a tiny bit extreme.

But no reason to feel insulted.

Odd thread. OP was very gracious in her reply and still people are piling thecheese on

Because it’s become a wider discussion. I haven’t seen anyone knocking the OP personally.

I'm an absolute bastard for adding things to meals. I'll usually add more than one of the following - cheese, Tabasco, salt and pepper, mint sauce, brown sauce.

@RibenaMonsoon My husband does this too. I thought he was the only one! Except I detest mayonnaise so I would never add it for him. You're a saint!

With the exception of curry my DH puts Tartare Sauce on everything. And I mean everything, not just fish. I think that possibly outweirds all your DPs/DHs?

The problem you have here is that you mentioned two pasta dishes and it's totally normal to add grated cheese to pasta. I always automatically add Parmesan to most pasta dishes.

If he was adding to weirder things and literally everything (roasts, fish, steaks etc) I think you'd have more support.

Completely disagree with the few PPs who said it was the same as salt / pepper though. I think adding salt and pepper to something without tasting it first is INCREDIBLY rude and implies it's not seasoned well. How does someone know I've not already salt and peppered to perfection. Fine to add after tasting, but not before.

I'm baffled by all the 'offended' and 'rude' posts. Why on earth would you care how another person eats his food or what he finds tasty? So weird. And also a bit arrogant. Surely you don't think you're such a PERFECT chef, so no one could possibly question your fantastic food. This is not directed at OP, just generally speaking.

My mum is like this. And has to endure three 'rude' people around the table (when we eat together). My dad eats everything with bread. EVERYTHING. Meat with bread, mash with bread, cheese with bread, soup with bread, salad with bread, bread with bread. He likes it. Brother smothers everything in mayo. There's nothing in the world that couldn't be improved with a jar of mayo on top. I'm a 'salt&pepper before tasting' person.

Mum gets offended every time. In her mind, she's a Michelin chef, her food is out of this world divine, and we are ungrateful and rude to 'spoil it'. In reality - her cooking is shit and always has been. She doesn't see it herself and no one has a heart to tell her.

Dad is an excellent cook, though. He works crazy hours and don't have much time to cook, but when he does, he always puts salt and pepper by my plate when serving, mayo jar by brother's and bread by his own.

I think adding salt and pepper to something without tasting it first is INCREDIBLY rude and implies it's not seasoned well. How does someone know I've not already salt and peppered to perfection. Fine to add after tasting, but not before.

Adding it after tasting the food doesn't just imply it, it's full confirmation the food is not seasoned well. How do people not see this?

Or is there some kind of misguided arrogant thinking that if we only just tasted it then we'd realise just how perfect it is?

I think adding a little bit of salt and pepper etc is fine to adjust the seasoning. Adding a heap of something like salt which overpowers the flavour of a dish is rude, and it would make me think it isn't worth spending time making a nice flavoured meal, as the only thing you are going to taste is salt, so why bother. Just give someone a plate of bland beige food and they can cover it with salt.

People are talking about Cheddar aren't they? And maybe Parmesan.

But what about Stilton and Camembert and Wensleydale and Manchego and goat's cheese and all the other kinds of cheese loveliness?

My favourite take away curry is Zaykaydar, which is spinach, meat and cheese in sauce topped with more cheese. It's not Indian paneer (but I love that too) but just plain old cheddar. Curry and cheese is a surprisingly good combination.

My DP puts hot sauce on EVERYTHING without tasting it. I made a really spicy Thai rice noodle dish recently and advised before he threw a metric fucktonne of hot sauce on it to taste it first as it was already hot. Didn’t listen...

He also covers everything in salt. I made something with a lot of salt in it recently and again pointed out I’d already seasoned it and if anything I’d gone too heavy on the salt. Ignored me completely and put his usual heart stopping amount on. Rendering it inedible.

Adding it after tasting the food doesn't just imply it, it's full confirmation the food is not seasoned well. How do people not see this?

Nah. Adding a bit after tasting is adjusting for tastebuds. Adding before is "this could not possibly have the right amount of salt" and assuming that your way is the right way.

If someone tries, and then adjusts the seasoning fair enough. If someone isn't willing to try I find that extraordinarily rude. Also odd, surely runs the risk of massive oversalting if you don't try first?

Not sure I could cope with all the people who add chilli sauce to everything without tasting it either. I like to at least taste whoever's cooked recipe before I go adding stuff.🤷🏼‍♀️

@lastqueenofscotland that would drive me mad. An ex of mine once poured salt all over a meal from the chippy when I'd asked them to do lots of salt and vinegar while picking it up. Even he agreed inedibly salty. What a waste. I was FUMING.

I'm surprised you're not tempting to make things extra hot just so he packs in the chilli sauce.

How does someone know I've not already salt and peppered to perfection.

Your definition of ‘perfection’ may differ significantly from mine.

I add cheese and mayonnaise to practically everything I eat... never realised it could offend someone that I prefer food with them!

Yes, it’s rude. He also has an unsophisticated palate if he can’t enjoy different foods and just wants the taste of cheese all the time. Toddlers do that, not grown men.

My husband does this but with chili flakes or chili sauce. I wouldn't mind so much if he at least tasted the meal first before he doctored it.

I add hot sauce to almost everything I eat.

Just give him cheese on toast every night. Problem solved

My eldest son used to do this. The amount of cheese we used to get through per week was incredible! Trouble is he left home last year but I still keep buying cheese as though he’s still here and now have a massive glut of it in the fridge. I can send you a couple of kilos of mature cheddar if you like!