DP putting cheese on every single meal I make!

[Chembe]

I really like to cook. I spend probably at least an hour every night making something for tea.

Maybe I'm just over reacting, but my dp puts grated cheddar or double gloucester (depending what's in the house) on every single meal I make. The only exception is curry...

Now I understand that a bit of grated cheese is nice on some things, fajitas, spag bol maybe but I've made two cheesy pasta dishes this week and he's put cheese on them too and it's just really got on my nerves! First was macaroni then tonight I made a tomato and mascarpone sauce, which he said tasted lovely, then takes a couple handfuls of cheese to put on top. Every dinner time he stands and grates cheese to put on the table. ! We've been together 7.5 years so this isn't new but I just want to know if I'm being unreasonable in finding it so frustrating. I find it quite offensive to be honest that none of my meals are palatable without a handful of grated cheese! This turned into a bit of a womble

DH's stepdad used to smother everything in pepper, not just adding a little, but absolutely covered it, so the only thing he could taste would be pepper. Luckily I didn't have to cook very often for him, I found it quite rude, that he didn't even try the food first. He would never get the original taste of the food, just pepper.

@StillCoughingandLaughing

Unless something is over-salted during cooking, I know I will want more - salt sprinkled on top of food is different to salt added during cooking

But how do you know it hasn't been over salted during cooking? Or indeed, had the perfect amount of salt added?

Even if we accept the premise that you will always want more salt, how do you know how much more to add? A tiny bit, or loads?

I can see the downside of not tasting and just sprinkling salt on your food, but I can't see the upside.

If I've cooked for someone, I find it rude if they chuck salt on without tasting it (if they've cooked it, they can do what they like). It's as illogical as immediately sticking it in the microwave "because they know they'll always want it a bit hotter".

My H would do thisuf he hadn't worked out it was part of the reasehe is fat. Or bbq sauce. Or sweet chilli sauce. I can't get my head round why anyone would want to eat anything so salty.

But how do you know it hasn't been over salted during cooking? Or indeed, had the perfect amount of salt added?

Because no one in 30 odd years has ever made food as salty as I like it. Not even myself, because I cook for other people too. Sometimes it just needs a bit more,sometimes loads more.

Your "perfect" won't be everyone else's perfect too. For some it might be too salty,for some just right, for some not salty enough.

It's just some extra salt(and pepper sometimes) not spitting it out and going to make some toast.

To be honest I think policing another grown adults meals choices is appalling. He isn't a toddler.

You’ve inspired me and dh into having cheese on toast for dinner! We were a bit meh about cooking - so thank you op

I adore cheese, but my God, there is definitely a thing as too much cheese (especially grated cheddar).

However, as much as I sympathise (this would annoy me), I think on balance you're BU, as I add chilli to almost all of my savoury food.

"I have Parmesan on every pasta dish I eat, regardless if there's cheese in the sauce already*

Someone after my own heart. The only cheese we ALWAYS have loads of in the house and have never run out of in 10 years is parmesan.
DH adds chilli sauce to absolutely everything. I add salt to his dishes as he under salts everything I think ( yes yes I know too much salt is bad for you. I don't care ). Don't take it personally op

My mother puts coleslaw with everything. Even curry. I think I would find cheese less offensive.

I add cheese to most things and definitely would for the pasta dishes you mentioned.

Dont think its a big deal to add things to meals unless youre adding to someone else's too. I like my food the way I like it, nothing to do with or a commentary on the person's cooking.

Ex used to get irritated by the way I ate because I eat everything separately and apparently thats ruining the meal because the flavours are supposed to be mixed up.

Sometimes it just needs a bit more, sometimes loads more

But surely (forgive me) you don't know how much more until you taste it. So how do you know how much to put on? And if food can never be salty enough for you, how do you know when to stop putting salt on?

Your "perfect" won't be everyone else's perfect too. For some it might be too salty,for some just right, for some not salty enough

Exactly. So you should taste your food, then salt it with the appropriate amount of salt that you, personally, decide you would like.

Unless.... in reality, salting your food has nothing to do with how the food actually tastes (how can it, when you admit you would add salt no matter how salty it was) and is just a learned, reflexive habit that you think food needs to feel "done"?

I'm a little baffled by all the people who get offended. Do you not want people to enjoy their meals? Why cook for them if they then have to eat something that's not to their taste/ bland to them? Why do you assume that if it's good to you it's good to others? I thought we cooked for others to treat them and look after them not to make them suffer in order to show their good manners. I'd never want someone to feel they had to eat something which wasn't so nice just not to offend me.

I agree with the heavy salters BTW. No-one ever serves food with enough salt on it for me. I don't mind at all. I can add it. I'd rather it was underseasoned for me as I can change that. If it suited me no-one else would want to eat it.

Because like I said no one has ever cooked with enough salt for me. I could try it first and then add the salt ,but why? That wouldn't make it about my taste buds either, but rather about the cooks's feelings. I

Is salting food after you tasted it be any less rude or hurtful ? If anything it seems even more so.

At least with straight up salters you can make yourself feel better by considering it a habit,or them being odd, or having faulty taste buds or whatever.

If it suited me no-one else would want to eat it.

OH uses me a saltiness tester. If i try something and say it's salty or worse too salty(very rarely) he knows he won't be able to eat it or that it wouldn't be too healthy for him.

I could try it first and then add the salt ,but why?

Because then you'll know whether you'd like only a little bit more, a medium amount or a truckload!

My husband does this. He’s skinny as a rake too, not fair!

I fucking love cheese.

I think cheese would go quite nicely on curry.

I would do that with the cheese if I wasn't worried about the health implications. DP puts chilli sauce on everything. I think that we pain each other but heigh ho, that's marriage!

For those who add a lot of salt surely that is just what your food tastes of

I'm another one who couldn't care less if someone seasons their food, even if they don't try it first. My husband puts hot sauce on food he's made for himself which he has already added hot sauce too - it's not a reflex, it's because it tastes different when you get a splash of hot sauce on the top compared to having it stirred through a dish - I totally understand that, even if I don't want to do it myself!
And as for trying first - why does it matter? Unless you're taking each person's individual orders for post-service condiments, almost everyone you're serving will have had enough life experience to know what they want on their food, and surely it's only them that suffer if they get it wrong? I just don't see how it's rude to want to eat your food the way you like it.

My MIL makes a cheese sauce to go with a Sunday roast. It’s my absolute favourite part, it is amazing poured over peas. My local curry house also does a curry called cheesy chicken and it’s the absolute best, it’s a garlicy curry with cheese melted on top so I have to say I think your husband is perfectly reasonable to add cheese to EVERYTHING.

truffle
Now you've said that, actually cauliflower cheese goes well with a Sunday roast.

I consider adding cheese on pasta dishes to be completely normal. Adding it to teriyaki prawn stir-fry, sushi or lentil soup would be weird and annoying.

I consider adding cheese on pasta dishes to be completely normal. Adding it to teriyaki prawn stir-fry, sushi or lentil soup would be weird and annoying.