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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

DP putting cheese on every single meal I make!

138 replies

Chembe · 03/10/2019 17:47

I really like to cook. I spend probably at least an hour every night making something for tea.

Maybe I'm just over reacting, but my dp puts grated cheddar or double gloucester (depending what's in the house) on every single meal I make. The only exception is curry...

Now I understand that a bit of grated cheese is nice on some things, fajitas, spag bol maybe but I've made two cheesy pasta dishes this week and he's put cheese on them too and it's just really got on my nerves! First was macaroni then tonight I made a tomato and mascarpone sauce, which he said tasted lovely, then takes a couple handfuls of cheese to put on top. Every dinner time he stands and grates cheese to put on the table. ! We've been together 7.5 years so this isn't new but I just want to know if I'm being unreasonable in finding it so frustrating. I find it quite offensive to be honest that none of my meals are palatable without a handful of grated cheese! This turned into a bit of a womble

OP posts:

Fatshedra · 03/10/2019 18:34

I hate cheese on stuff - I buy good quality food. How can you taste the egg/ beef/ chicken if it's awash with grated cheese.
If you do the shopping buy cheap and nasty cheese - heh heh

TamarindCove · 03/10/2019 18:34

I don’t like cheese, obviously in a minority!

I see a couple of posters have mentioned Chinese though. My husband orders bbq spare ribs (in sauce) and grates cheese all over them. Looks weird but he insists it tastes good!

AfterSchoolWorry · 03/10/2019 18:35

Food of the Gods 🧀🧀🧀

StillCoughingandLaughing · 03/10/2019 18:39

It really bothers me when people add salt without tasting their food - how do they know how much to add?

You see, it really bothers ME when people decide they know how much salt I need and want to watch me try it before they’re fully satisfied I’ve given it my full consideration before choosing to add salt. Unless something is over-salted during cooking, I know I will want more - salt sprinkled on top of food is different to salt added during cooking.

icannotremember · 03/10/2019 18:45

I do love an OP who asks if they are BU, is told yes, and cheerily accepts it :)

ilovepinkgin33 · 03/10/2019 18:48

I think people should be allowed to add what they like to any meal they're eating, doesn't make them appreciate it any less, everyone's taste buds are different

Orangecake123 · 03/10/2019 18:53

Sorry OP but cheese is the best and it doesn't say anything about your cooking.

Dramaofallama · 03/10/2019 18:56

I had an ex who put chilli sauce on everything too! Roast dinners and sheperd pies. Use to drive me mad!

73Sunglasslover · 03/10/2019 18:58

You're right. He should eat food that's not so tasty to him in order not to offend you. It's not like you guys are close or anything!

Sounds to me like he might find your food a bit under-seasoned for his taste buds?

ExhaustedFlamingo · 03/10/2019 18:58

I have to confess to being utterly amazed at the number of people in here who get upset with how someone else wants to eat their food....!

Unless they've spat out a mouthful with a disgusted "ugh!" before getting up to get sauce/cheese/salt etc to cover the taste, I am at a complete loss about why you'd be upset. Everyone's palate is different, it's no reflection on your cooking for heaven's sake. Your "perfectly balanced" sauce might taste different to me. Or I might like things saltier/sweeter/spicier than you deem is "right".

Professional chefs insist you're "supposed" to have steak red and pink. I don't like my steak like that. I like it well done. And I give no shits how I'm supposed to like it. I like what I like!

Does it work in reverse? I know someone who refuses to have gravy on her Sunday roast which quite frankly is madness, especially as she does eat gravy with other things. The idea of being offended about it though is utterly crackers.

I enjoy cooking and consider myself a decent cook. My partner likes everything burnt and then also covered in mayo. Weirdo. Hahaha! Doesn't bother me at all.

It's actually slightly controlling to believe they should be eating their food in a way that you consider acceptable....

Jaxhog · 03/10/2019 18:58

Sounds a bit rude to me. Essentially he's saying that what you've served isn't adequate. Maybe you should add a lot of cheese to his portion next time before serving it. And I mean a LOT of cheese!

user1474894224 · 03/10/2019 19:00

I just read this out to DH. We've been together for about 13 years. Chilli powder or hot sauce is added to everything I make. Everything. We have had many words about this and how disrespectful I find it. He now feels completely vindicated by the responses on this post. I, on the other hand , feel your pain.

Pharlapwasthebest · 03/10/2019 19:10

If he does it to your plate too yanbu
If he only does it to his own food yabu.
You’re talking it personally when he is just eating something he likes.
It’s not about you, it’s about him (in the nicest possible way)

BinkyBaa · 03/10/2019 19:13

Yabu. I'm not a bad cook myself, the meals I make still taste good without cheese. That's not going to stop me putting a mountain of cheese on it though. He can still taste what you've made, he just likes everything with cheese.

Whitejasmine · 03/10/2019 19:15

My dh does this and it drives me mad. Whatever I make he either mashes it, puts on loads of cheese, salt n pepper or whatever. I find it rude too. When I ask him why he just says he needs his food very seasoned. I suspect his taste buds are completely shot with old age (he’s 48!)

SoyDora · 03/10/2019 19:17

I would do this if it wasn’t for the fact that it would make me really, really fat!

RibenaMonsoon · 03/10/2019 19:19

DH is the same, only with mayonnaise. Even on spag bol, doesn't matter what I make, he adds mayo.

He just loves mayonnaise, his mother used to get offended he did it. So he pre warned me that he does it. Doesn't bother me at all, he says he loves what I make. I just add the mayo for him now.

Laraaussie · 03/10/2019 19:20

Yabu.

I never understand threads like these where people moan about people adding seasoning/sauce, or in this case cheese to their food.

Let people enjoy their food however they like.

Lazysundays18 · 03/10/2019 19:20

Maybe he like cheese!? I'd put cheese on pasta too...

Itsallpetetong · 03/10/2019 19:26

I showed DP the post and he is feeling quite chuffed

Get him to have his cholesterol checked, he might not be quite so chuffed then!

mumwon · 03/10/2019 19:27

an article in newspaper about some mother trying to poison her (adult?) daughter using chillies & ginger (my dh & I tried to work this out - he said he has been trying to do this for years to me but it hasn't worked } slightly off subject & random

mumwon · 03/10/2019 19:29

ps you could dig new patio & bury him with his grated cheese ...

MitziK · 03/10/2019 19:31

An ex did similar because he was a greedy cunt. A meal was made, he'd then mush it up like baby food, add half a pack of butter and a block of cheese and shovel it in whilst making smacking noises.

I think the adding cheese and butter to the mush was to grease it down to get the maximum volume of calories and fat, as he never ate as much when he was paying for the ingredients there wasn't a fiver's worth of saturated fat he could add on top.

Yes, he became obese.

I didn't stop him. His liver and heart, not mine. I just didn't buy cheese or butter at all anymore and strangely, he wouldn't buy it himself

Not why I dumped him in the end, but he did make me feel sick when he'd look up with fat down his chin and say 'more cheese!'.

cheesewitheverything · 03/10/2019 19:33

I know this might seem odd given my name, but I think it is actually quite insulting of your DP. My DH often puts something like salad cream or mayo on what I cook. It's especially annoying when I've used fresh garlic, herbs or fresh spices etc and then he drowns it in sauce before he even tastes it. I just shrug and enjoy the food myself...

boringisasboringdoes · 03/10/2019 19:34

Perhaps he is addicted. Also cheese is salty he prob think it's bland without out of habit

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