Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

To mourn MN as it was in the Moulden Days

999 replies

GregoriaTheGreat · 02/10/2019 21:59

Admittedly, it was not perfect (full of quiches and Queen Bees). So much so that I gave it a rest for a considerable while. I may even have Flounced at some point (though was not a Mouldie. I would never have been cool enough).

But I now mourn the Olden Days when nobody had to bother with "lighthearted" when a thread was evidently lighthearted. Nobody took everything quite so seriously, even when they would have good reason to.

Posters generally had a decent command of spelling and grammar, too.

Maybe I'm just old and need to take up knitting or something.

OP posts:
OneUsernameOnly · 04/10/2019 07:36

I didn't like Limit. When she first arrived she was quite lovely but then got quite nasty, I remember one thread she was horrible to a poster who had a different opinion to her. @hullygully defended the poster and Pinot was suddenly all ", kisses to you hully" and totally changed her stance. l don't know why it has stuck in my head, maybe because it was the first time I had seen such blatant brown nosing towards perceived MN Royalty.
I have been on MN since 2005 but name change regularly and never believed in MN Royalty - oh and I don't think Hully has ever thought that about herself but other posters clearly did.
I loved getorfs posts. I used to laugh and cry on MN but the wit has definitely reduced.
I have met some amazing people via MN and had a blast at the London meet ups.
I miss OliviaMN too.
What happened to ILoveTiffany?
Still here reading to learn from the Feminism boards - they have literally changed my life and the way I raise my children.

ChardonnaysDistantCousin · 04/10/2019 07:37

That was a generic "you", not addressed to anyone in particular. I see the lighthearted has been raised a few times.

OneUsernameOnly · 04/10/2019 07:38

**Not limit! Pinot!

Lweji · 04/10/2019 07:38

Maybe I'm just old and need to take up knitting or something.

I'd just take the rose tinted glasses out. Wink

I came here first because it was well know as the vipers nest. Grin More than 10 years ago. I didn't find it much worse than the previous board I was in apart from the swearing.

Lately, though, I get deleted and never get a fucking message saying why. It's annoying.

ChardonnaysDistantCousin · 04/10/2019 07:40

Maybe I'm just old and need to take up knitting or something

No, the knitting community is apparently in the throes of a huge falling out between different fractions.

ChardonnaysDistantCousin · 04/10/2019 07:41

Also, they use sharp objects. I'd stay clear,

NoSauce · 04/10/2019 07:42

Yeah the brown nosing of Hully and Pag was nauseating and really cringe worthy. I never understand why those particular posters were held in such high esteem ( no offence Hully if you’re still reading )

So I’m glad that those days are gone tbf.

crabb · 04/10/2019 07:45

I’ve been here since 2010. Never a prolific poster, and mouldies was before my time.
The main features that drew me to MN were the wit, the cleverness, the warmth, and real help for posters in terrible situations.
The wit and cleverness are not so evident now. The pile-ons have a really nasty tone. But at least genuine help is still here for those in bad situations.
And despite the site being (apparently) much bigger now, there seem to be fewer posts these days - you can come back after a few hours and there are far fewer new posts than there used to be. Anyone else notice this? It seems like a dying site. Would be interesting to see stats.

WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles · 04/10/2019 07:48

"When did poor literacy become a protected characteristic?"

Well if you'd read the thread properly you would have seen my post earlier about losing lots of my SPaG (and memory) due to a brain issue and subsequent meds. So if you want to patronise and correct people like me who are disabled, knock yourself out but keep in mind you look like a supercilious twat and ironically, quite ignorant.

Btw, what's the male equivalent of "queen bee"? "Alpha male" perhaps? But that has positive connotations too. I'm trying hard to think of descriptions we apply to men who form "groups" on the internet - I don't think I've ever seen them referred to as "bunch of bitches", "royalty" and "cliques".

TheCanterburyWhales · 04/10/2019 07:49

SoH- and "come" they certainly do.
Frequently, and messily. And the terminally gullible seem to lap it up. If that's not mixing my metaphors too much.

DeborahAnnabelToo · 04/10/2019 07:50

Which poster was it who had the Raven chick which she hand reared? Was that Stratters? I loved reading about that. Greensleeves was another funny poster. I think "CUNTING SAINSBURYS" was her. Yeah it's different here now. Bloated like a mega-star entering it's final years. I expect MN will be found dead on it's toilet clutching a bottle of Zoflora a la Elvis and his hamburger.

OneUsernameOnly · 04/10/2019 07:59

I have always enjoyed reading Pagwatch and Hullygullys posts - it wasn't them who were the problem, it was the brown nosers.
I still find myself randomly thinking about MrsD and her neighbours bungalow. Oh and Cupoftea and Bea.
I still love MN and learn a lot. It is also often still my first place to turn to for support. I am a stronger woman because of MN. Though I still can't make a chicken last more than 2 days!

Hullygully · 04/10/2019 08:00

I hated the stupid royalty nonsense and still do. At different periods in life for different reasons different people spend a lot of time on MN, therefore make friends, so spend even more time, get called royalty crap. It's just being "known."

And yy to the sexist queen bees, clique, mean girl shit. Just friendship groups. A friendship group does not automatically equate to a mean girl trope. Childish.

Samcro · 04/10/2019 08:27

i always wanted to be royalty lol
I remember the modding as being bad. I had a thread go terribly wrong. really bad, but as I started it on a Saturday, it was there until the monday. glad that wouldn't happen now.

RightYesButNo · 04/10/2019 08:28

Thing I can't get over are all the bloody handmaidens right now. Earlier someone put up a post about a controlling abusive new husband who was lovely a full 20% of the time and there were half a dozen "oh was he tired" type responses before anyone said it doesn't have to be this way.

This is the part that worries me the most. Right, yes, user demographics change. Yes, lack of decent SPaG might annoy me, but I don’t want to be an arse about it if someone has less education or time and is coming here for support and advice. Even if “could of” grates in my nerves like metal on metal. But none of the little things, like cliques, differences about grammar and txtspeak, things not being “funny” enough, feel as important to me as the sudden influx of people who are answering threads where an OP is clearly abused with absolutely fucking dangerous information.

Usually, I see several users immediately pull them up on it, but it only takes one user to echo the internal monologue of a beaten down woman who’s having trouble breaking away. I just saw a thread where a husband was making twice as much as OP, yet childcare was to be paid for by her as she “chose” to work, bills were to be split 50/50, she had no money, and he wouldn’t even “give” her the money to fix a suddenly broken boiler. He even questioned her about water usage. And still some user swooped in and said, “Have you had a sit down talk with him, hun? Possibly he’s just saving for a house for you.” What the absolute fuck.

And there seems to now almost always be one or more users like these in abuse advice threads, and they usually do seem to be “huns.”

I’m with @DameFanny. That’s the only change I’ve really become concerned about. On the “What has Mumsnet done for you” threads, you almost always see a few users saying it helped them leave an abusive ex. If this site lost the ability to do that, then I would really say it wasn’t what it used to be.

Lex234 · 04/10/2019 08:41

AIBU has definitely changed over the years.
There was a lot of straight talking and good advice. There is still sometimes. But I have found recently a lot of threads go:

OP: AIBU to ...[Insert clear case of OP being a complete nob and needing to give their head a wobble]
Whole of MN: YABU! (OP has arse handed to them)
OP: Yes, but... [insert long list of highly unlikely, mitigating circumstances that in fact proves OP is not BU]
Small group of Huns: OMG you are all so awful, ignore them OP, you are defo not being unreasonable xxx ignore all the nasty b*ches xxx stick to your guns xxx PM me babes xxxx
Rest of MN attempting to give decent advice: WTAF just happened...retreat from thread

It limits discussion and different points of view. There is a lot less completely ridiculous LTBs because a DP has left his cup on the side or something equally inocuous, but I do agree there is a definite lean towards excusing some outright abusive behaviours because a partner is tired/stressed and that is not OK either.

Having said that, there are posters who do post just to be nasty or cause an argument. Sometimes that is OK if the OP can hold their own, but sometimes people are in a bad place when they post and some people could be a little kinder.

dirtyrottenscoundrel · 04/10/2019 08:52

Yeah the brown nosing of Hully and Pag was nauseating and really cringe worthy. I never understand why those particular posters were held in such high esteem

At least Hully could be quite funny at times.
She’s the only one who made me laugh out of all the ‘names’ mentioned on here.

Hullygully · 04/10/2019 08:54

yy re the men-excusing. Spend an hour on MN and you realise there may be ten feminists in the world, but the vast majority are same as they ever were.

But that is where MN is great, people getting exposure to thoughts and ideas outside their own spheres that otherwise they simply wouldn't come across.

Queenbean · 04/10/2019 08:54

And yy to the sexist queen bees, clique, mean girl shit. Just friendship groups. A friendship group does not automatically equate to a mean girl trope. Childish.

Plenty of friendships on here that don’t offend others. But you’ve been called out several times for offending others repeatedly so I suppose it shows that you don’t understand the difference between “mean girl shit” and friendships.

Hullygully · 04/10/2019 08:55

It's a bit odd to read posts about me when I am actually here.

Coo-ee!

"Quite funny" Damned with faint praise hahahaha.

WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles · 04/10/2019 09:04

So, people that are saying things like "mean girl shit" and "queen bee" what is the male equivalent? I'd really like to know because I can't think of any.

Women are bitchy/outspoken. Men are straight talking/honest. Women are bossy and men are assertive.

Why is it that women are castigated for qualities we think are admirable in men? This thread makes for a depressing read.

Hullygully · 04/10/2019 09:05

But you’ve been called out several times for offending others repeatedly so I suppose it shows that you don’t understand the difference between “mean girl shit” and friendships.

I have been upgraded from leaving people out by having friends to offending everyone.

I may as well confess all my crimes. I am also responsible for the war in Yemen and the Venezuelan national debt.

I feel better for getting it all off my chest.

On a side note I could point out the irony of the haterz klaxon and piling in. But I don't care so I won't.

WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles · 04/10/2019 09:06

No doubt I'll get accused of pushing a feminist agenda and this is why people don't use Mumsnet anymore. I see the trans issue has already been mentioned....

ShirleyPhallus · 04/10/2019 09:07

I know many bitchy men. I see them on here and in real life.

But in general, I find that men just aren’t bitchy and mean about other men in a way that women are.

Hullygully · 04/10/2019 09:07

WeBuilt

At least you haven't committed the cardinal sin of friendship. That gets a special place in hell.

Swipe left for the next trending thread