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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask how you all feel about mixed sex loos and wards?

255 replies

Toorahtoorahaye · 02/10/2019 21:08

Just in the past day or so there have been discussions on social media about the new NHS guidelines that allows patients to choose which sexed ward they feel most comfortable in reality making wards mixed sex. And today the Old Vic is also following the recent trend to make its loos mixed sex - mixed sex with urinals, mixed sex with with stalls and gender neutral loos. Just wondering how folk feel about the end of single sex wards and loos for mixed sex provision.

To ask how you all feel about mixed sex loos and wards?
To ask how you all feel about mixed sex loos and wards?
OP posts:
Original poster
Toorahtoorahaye · 04/10/2019 08:33

If nurse has been harassed by both genders it’s possible they were all male anyway.

OP posts:
MoonageDaydreamz · 04/10/2019 08:49

Mixed sex wards - absolutely no way. I have not been in hospital for anything other than maternity but even having people's partners in the ward can be awful. I have only just been discharged from one and every time I looked up the person opposite's partner was looking into my bay, even when I had the curtain shut he was looking through any gap left.

Mixed sex loos I have less of a problem with at somewhere like a theatre or stadium where it means women's queues are effectively halved. But less keen on it in a workplace or places where long queues aren't a problem.

kalinkafoxtrot45 · 04/10/2019 09:09

No to mixed toilets, and a huge NO to mixed wards. Women need privacy and space away from men. Men need to sort their behaviour out.

CardsforKittens · 04/10/2019 09:18

The last time I was in hospital the elderly and confused patient in the next bed kept stripping off and trying to engage me in conversation while completely naked. It was a women’s ward so this was not particularly threatening. I would have been quite upset if it had been a naked man: I was attached to a drip and it wouldn’t have been easy to run away. I really don’t want naked men near me when I’m feeling vulnerable.

AnyMinuteNow · 04/10/2019 10:44

The only thing that needs to happen when queues for the womens is long and men's non-existent, is to turn over more toilets to women.

We do things differently and have very different needs, we require more time, often.

It takes a long time to soap, rinse and dry your hands. Something many men skip out on, significantly reducing queues and spreading dick bacteria

AlphaBravoCharlieDelta · 04/10/2019 14:19

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

MillfredTheGreat · 04/10/2019 14:24

Not keen on either. Had to spend a few nights in hospital with my 3 year old recently, there was 1 toilet cubicle for the children and parents to use. One of the dads absolutely sprayed the whole thing with piss every time he went in there and was quite lecherous, really disgusting.

MRex · 04/10/2019 14:35

I don't like mixed for either. For decades now that I've been aware of, M2F transvestites have used the ladies toilet with no issues, so there is no need for all toilets to be opened up to all men. The smell from spillage is awful. As for wards, people need to be able to feel comfortable so I think rooms within each ward should be segregated by sex unless it's heavily permanently staffed (A&E and intensive care).

ThebishopofBanterbury · 04/10/2019 14:37

It's a no from me. Just horrible.

AutumnRose1 · 04/10/2019 15:15

Apologies if I missed it
Are the cubicles at the old vic going to be self contained with sink etc?

Last time I was there, they said they were changing loos because of complaints there weren't enough women's loos. I thought it was too good to be true.

Becles · 05/10/2019 07:12

@AutumnRose1

Apologies if I missed it
Are the cubicles at the old vic going to be self contained with sink etc?

Looking at the pictures, I don't think so. If any woman uses the previously male toilets she'll have to walk past urinals to get to the cubicles.

To ask how you all feel about mixed sex loos and wards?
donquixotedelamancha · 05/10/2019 07:24

Apologies if I missed it
Are the cubicles at the old vic going to be self contained with sink etc?

The old Vic still have two sets of shared toilets: one with urinals and one without. They have changed the labels so now anyone can use either.

MrGsFancyNewVagina · 05/10/2019 08:14

I can just see all the women lining up to use the one with urinals. 🤢 In other words they’ve taken away the women’s rights to privacy and dignity by permitting men use if all the toilets. Woke wankers.

Pol16 · 05/10/2019 08:45

The idea of mixed loos makes me very anxious. Women often have to rustle about in handbags when they have periods and from talking to friends, I think many find this embarrassing if a man is in the loo next door to them. I’ve always found ladies loos a sanctuary where you can have a quiet/supportive word with friends, put makeup on, adjust underwear/tights etc. Sorry if I sound prudish but I just hate the idea of sitting in a state of undress In a loo next to a man who is similarly situated. I would have problems even passing water if a man was next door to me!

Penguincity · 05/10/2019 08:55

Don't agree with either. For wards more to do with safety, toilets slightly less because of safety than many men can't seem to aim straight! Was at the pleasance during the Edinburgh festival ( quite a woke crowd) and even the young males were warning the females which toilets were "male" ones due to the state of them. I started a conversation about the mixed sex toilets and was pleasantly surprised that no one including the staff agreed with them, and as I say edinburgh during the festival is pretty woke

Original poster
Toorahtoorahaye · 05/10/2019 08:56

Many many people have issues peeing and pooing in single sex loos - I imagine having men (or women/girls if it’s a man) next to you would make folk a lot more anxious

OP posts:
HumberElla · 05/10/2019 09:18

Last time we went out on a work social, the venue had mixed sex loos. Had to go to loo alongside male colleague in the next stall, who wanted to continue chatting.

Won’t be going there again.

BeyondMyWits · 05/10/2019 09:33

Also don't like the idea of either. I have had to stay on mixed sex wards, it just feels wrong, not saying unsafe, but I want to recover in a place where I don't have to worry about my safety/modesty/whatever... mixed loos is just another way to say men can use the ladies, women don't generally want to use the gents, so just another erosion of my space. I have had my space eroded pretty much everywhere - I am an older lady - I walk, I don't drive.

My safe pavement space has been taken by cyclists, electric scooters etc etc - I feel vulnerable going for a walk.
My changing rooms in shops are gradually allowing whoever wants to "identify" as female in to change - a curtain between us - I feel vulnerable trying on clothes .
My public toilets allow whoever in... I feel vulnerable going for a wee or changing a top because I dropped something on it.
My hospital wards are mixed - I feel vulnerable when I am too unwell to do anything about it.

Is it any wonder the old are getting more lonely. We can't go anywhere without feeling we are outsiders, we are castigated if we complain that we feel vulnerable, so perhaps we just stay home.

ForalltheSaints · 05/10/2019 09:37

Mixed toilets will out women off using them for a number of reasons which others will have stated. It will probably lead to fewer urinals which will mean queues for men who will not be happy.

So for a few people undergoing transition, who could use disabled toilets, everyone else is unhappy and could have medical issues if they choose not to use a toilet and delay until they are elsewhere.

GaraMedouar · 05/10/2019 09:45

Interestingly on a Sat morning I go to a secondary school for a music activity with my DD. This school had all unisex toilets, open to the corridor with a trough sink outside the cubicles. The ones by the front door are still unisex and signed as such but today I walked round the school and those previously unisex are now designated male or female. So they all used to have a male and female person sign by the entrance, now half have a man sign and half have a female sign. I just thought that was interesting and wondered if that came from a pushback from the students themselves? I went in one of the ladies ones, and it didn’t smell (previously all the toilets had a slightly nasty smell more associated with men’s public toilets). I know when I start looking at secondary schools with DD the toilet situation will be something I look at.

SuchAToDo · 05/10/2019 09:50

I've experienced mixed sex loos and wards...and I have to say they make me uneasy

One time I was having a bed bath (I had surgery done and couldn't move much and my wound had filled with fluid and pus and it was seeping all over me and the bed) so the nurse stripped me and washed me and was going to put in a catheter so I didn't have to keep using bedpans to pee in...she walked out of the cubicle, left the curtain open a bit, and there was a bloke sat in the chair gawping in a men naked from waist down with legs spread waiting for catheter...I've never been so embarrassed in my life...I felt almost ashamed...

Then another time where you go to the ladies toilet for a morning wash at the sinks...I was just starting to lift my pyjama top to wash under my arms with a washcloth and glanced in the mirror and saw a bloke looking back...he was sat on the toilet, with the door opened a crack watching and staring...I walked straight out and from then on I asked the nurses for a plastic bowl of soapy water to wash in my cubicle

It's the women that suffer the most when they mix the wards and loos, we lose our privacy and our feeling of being somewhere safe

user1573334 · 05/10/2019 09:52

I was in a hospital visiting my DH last week, and the bloke opposite was sat on a chair in a hospital gown with his legs spread and his dick hanging out, just casually reading a book. I'm sure this wasn't by accident. There was also a man with obvious mental health issues who kept walking up and down and in and out of everyone's cubicle just tapping the walls and asking if this was his bed. He even tried to get into someone else's bed when there was someone in it. I remember asking DH if this was a men only ward because there was no way I would feel safe sleeping in it.

I am ok with mixed sex toilets if the cubicles are seperate but not if there are urinals. I understand many aren't though so would rather have seperate ones to protect them.

Dodoluded · 05/10/2019 12:39

i have one more question. Sorry but if a man was a convicted sex offender would it be on his hospital records; I don’t think so but just want to check?

user1497207191 · 05/10/2019 12:42

So for a few people undergoing transition, who could use disabled toilets,

Then you get the disabled whingeing that able bodied people are using their loos and it's unfair for people who may "need" the loo at short notice due to their disability.

And, you'll get the transitioning people whingeing that they're being treated as disabled when they're not.

We've got ourselves in a right old mess.

user1497207191 · 05/10/2019 12:43

not if there are urinals

Straight men are also at risk when using urinals as there are sometimes pretty dodgy blokes hanging around in public loos.

Personally, I think urinals need to be scrapped.