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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how you all feel about mixed sex loos and wards?

255 replies

Toorahtoorahaye · 02/10/2019 21:08

Just in the past day or so there have been discussions on social media about the new NHS guidelines that allows patients to choose which sexed ward they feel most comfortable in reality making wards mixed sex. And today the Old Vic is also following the recent trend to make its loos mixed sex - mixed sex with urinals, mixed sex with with stalls and gender neutral loos. Just wondering how folk feel about the end of single sex wards and loos for mixed sex provision.

To ask how you all feel about mixed sex loos and wards?
To ask how you all feel about mixed sex loos and wards?
OP posts:
TrainspottingWelsh · 02/10/2019 21:37

Just fucking no.

On an individual level toilets wouldn't bother me, but nobody should be deciding that for me, and certainly not on behalf of females that don't want shared toilets. And tbh the principle of it fucks me off.

Wards, never. Although given the amount of people that think their desire for their male partner to stay on a postnatal ward should trump another woman's right, and need to have a single sex ward post birth, I'm not convinced it's any worse to share any other type of ward.

Saying that, we have mixed sex women's spaces in far more damaging places so it's hardly surprising

UndertheCedartree · 02/10/2019 21:38

@dodoluded - in fact a lot of patients are informal depending on the ward. Even those who are sectioned are not deemed as lacking mental capacity in every area of life. Mental capacity has to be judged with regard to each seperate decision. There are plenty of men and women who may be sectioned but still have many hours per day of leave to have sex if they so wish. I'm not saying that is a good thing or a wise decision but it wouldn't count as rape, I don't think.

huntinghighandlow · 02/10/2019 21:47

I'd have to say 'This might be a bit new and exciting for you, but actually females don't stand up and expose themselves to have a pee, they go in a separate cubicle'

Beamur · 02/10/2019 21:49

Enclosed single cubicles for unisex toilets are fine. I've yet to encounter a mixed sex toilet laid out like a single sex one. I can imagine finding that very uncomfortable.
In my experience many hospital wards have a high proportion of patients with dementia. I can't imagine mixed sex works very well in those circumstances. My MIL is increasingly unwell with dementia and became very confused by a rather androgynous patient on her ward and thought she was her late husband.
I think there must be a better way to ensure every patient gets treated with dignity and care. And without embarrassment for a person of any gender.

HermioneWeasley · 02/10/2019 21:52

Horrified by both

MorganKitten · 02/10/2019 22:00

You realise most ICU wards are and have been mixed for years, if you are in a coma or dying wouldn’t you rather have the care needed?
My mum was in ICU a month, I never had an issue with a man being in a bed either side her, or the prisoner down the end who had prison guards with him 24/7 but I actually wanted her to survive not make a fuss about mixed whatever.

As someone who has used mixed bathrooms never had an issue.

WrongKindOfFace · 02/10/2019 22:05

Generally ICU patients are not wandering the wards and there is a high staff to patient ratio. Not quite the same.

AwdBovril · 02/10/2019 22:06

I don't have a problem with mixed sex wards. People should be allowed to use them if that is their preference. But there should be single sex wards available to anyone who requests one.

Of course, in practice, this could require as many as 5 sets of wards - mixed, male & female single sex wards, men's & women's single gender wards. Which is obviously entirely unworkable. As if the NHS doesn't have enough calls on its already overstretched resources.

RiddleyW · 02/10/2019 22:06

General wards are also mixed sex often. I’m not defending it - I hated having men wandering around - but people seem weirdly reluctant to accept it happens now as standard.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 02/10/2019 22:08

I don’t want either wards or toilets to be mixed sex. I think the best solution is single rooms with a bathroom and single self contained toilets. Even then I don’t want to share with men, because of the mess they often make.

Schuyler · 02/10/2019 22:08

Mixed wards are fine. Mixed bays are not fine.

Idontwanttotalk · 02/10/2019 22:08

The government have been banging on for years about eliminating mixed sex wards. Now new NHS guidelines are going to allow patients to choose which sexed ward they feel most comfortable in?

What if I, a woman, choose to be in a women's ward and a man (either born as a man or born as a female) also wants to be in the women's ward? It then becomes a mixed sex ward.

I want my personal dignity to be cared about and respected and I want to feel safe and secure, especially when I am ill and perhaps at my most vulnerable.

I presume if a man who was born male and identified as a male wanted to be in a women's ward then people woupd be up in arms about it. It wouldn't be allowed. Therefore the NHS guidelines are really all about transgender males and females.

How the heck can it be right for the majority to have to be subject to the whims of the minority?

We need 3 or 4 types of ward then:
Female
Male
Transgender women & those self-identifying as female.
Transgender men & those self-identifying as male.

Loos
I want to use single sex (i.e. biological sex) ladies' toilets if they are toilet blocks where there are cubicles inside and a communal washing area.
If the toilet is a self-contained room with handwashing facilities then I am happy for it to be unisex as only one person at a time uses it.

YesQueen · 02/10/2019 22:08

A bar near me has a great set up. Fully enclosed cubicles, ceiling to floor solid doors. Shared wash basins in an open space (the actual toilet area is sort of off set from a corridor so visible)
I didn't mind that, was open and nice

greenlynx · 02/10/2019 22:09

I hate both and would feel very uncomfortable. My DD has additional needs so she would particularly vulnerable in both situations.
I’m not so old, I’m in my forties. I don’t mind when a consultant is male but these tendencies worry me a lot.

puremagic · 02/10/2019 22:09

I don't want either

Redwinestillfine · 02/10/2019 22:11

I would really hate mixed wards, and the only acceptable way to do mixed loos is to have a single cubicle with wash basin inside ( like disabled loos) and extra regular cleaning to mop up wee around the loo seat

JasBBGG · 02/10/2019 22:13

the old vic - following advice - of who???
Certainly not women.
Still at least the men will have to endure queues at the theatre now, oh wait no they can use urinals.
Not only does this take away women's spaces which is a whole host of issues quite frankly men's loos smell and I don't want to share with them.

CremeEggThief · 02/10/2019 22:16

I personally wouldn't want to use a mixed-sex public loo, and in many circumstances, wouldn't want to stay on a mixed-sex ward.

Babushkacandle · 02/10/2019 22:17

My grandmother was on a mixed sex ward and during the night a man got into bed with her. She was bloody terrified but as it was years ago it was completely minimised as ‘just Arthur misbehaving himself’.
I would rather discharge myself then stay in a mixed ward.

Campervan69 · 02/10/2019 22:21

I want single sex facilities. Toilets, changing rooms and hospital wards.

My husband and sons agree with me. They want privacy and dignity as much as I do.

I think we need to fight back and start calling this out whenever we see it. I'm thinking TripAdvisor reviews and so on.

RaininSummer · 02/10/2019 22:24

I think I would find it very uncomfortable to be on a mixed sex ward unless we were all in comas etc. Would be on edge all the time. Loos quite nasty too unless all self contained and cleaned a lot and even then I would be on edge especially at night. So unfair to women.

PhilCornwall1 · 02/10/2019 22:31

So unfair to women.

Not very fair to men either. It's a no from me and if I was put on one I'd be out the door. It's actually unfair on both sexes.

ElizaDee · 02/10/2019 22:31

Campervan69, we need to start boycotting places with unisex toilets, wherever possible.

Jaxhog · 02/10/2019 22:34

God no! I'd thought we were becoming civilized with finally having ONLY single-sex wards, but it seems we're going backwards again. As a female, (note, not woman) I feel vulnerable enough in hospital. I don't need to spend nights, sick, with strange men around.

No problem when toilets are a closed cubicle with a lock. Unlike the one I used today, which didn't lock. Or the converted Gents I used a while back which still had a urinal (in use). Yuck.

greenlynx · 02/10/2019 22:40

I've yet to encounter a mixed sex toilet laid out like a single sex one
I was in one recently. Female toilet is now gender neutral. I was out with DD and she needed toilet, I didn’t know about the change, then it was too late to find another one as she was desperate. There was no one except us luckily but it felt very uncomfortable.