To think I should pay 1/3?

[stickeritup]

Travelling with my cousin and his wife to another cousin’s wedding in a different part of the country. They have one child, who’s also coming. I don’t have any.

We’re hiring a car because neither of us has a big enough one. The cost is £120. I assumed we’d pay £40 each for the three adults. Cousin has text saying ‘so that’s £60 each’, meaning £60 for me and £60 between him and his wife.

I don’t think this is right. AIBU? I know it’s only £20 but it happens all the time when some couples assume that they count as ‘one’.

Lumene don’t get your point?

1/3! 100%

I think 50:50 too. They wouldn’t have to pay for more than one car would they?

No they wouldn't pay for more than one car, but as a couple they would be sharing the cost of one car between two adults.

Bring in OP and it's sharing the cost of one car between 3 adults. So why are people expecting OP to pay half just because the couple share their finances? Joint finances doesn't mean you two adults become the cost of one adult.

Couple entitlement...

I have two toddlers and if my DH suggested driving a trip like this I'd be taking my own car and leaving him to drive the kids

It’s your cousin and his child. Is it really worth falling out over £20? Personally I’d be the bigger person and agree to disagree.

I bet they're well cheesed off now OP - expect them to be a bit short with you! Unjustly, of course, but there it is. Alternatively your cousin may go on a charm offensive and talk about how much they were looking forward to travelling with you... maybe make sure you have your 'happy laugh and deflect' approach down pat.

Another vote for 1/3 if it had to happen, but hopefully your suggestion will get taken up and it won’t be an issue anyway. Now watch the amount of stuff they are taking double... ;)

I personally wouldn't want to travel in a car with anybody if there were 'bad vibes' over who pays what etc. I would overlook it as it's only £20 as you say.

Could they, as a three, fit in their car? I assume yes.

If so, you should pay half, as you are causing the extra cost. otherwise they drive theirs and you drive on your own which might cost you more.

It should be 50/50, if it wasn’t for you they’d be going in their own car.

I hope it's now sorted OP and you enjoy the journey by yourself. Enjoy the fabulous scenery, especially of The Highlands.

On another point, why the heck does your cousin have a car that isn't big enough for him to travel in with his family? You know when you buy a car you might go on holiday in it so he should have bought a bigger car.

I personally wouldn't want to travel in a car with anybody if there were 'bad vibes' over who pays what etc. I would overlook it as it's only £20 as you say.

Would you overlook 50/50 petrol costs as well?

Fly, no questions, just make an excuse why you can't drive all that way or why you can't travel that length of time, and fly.

Agree with others, Cousin will assert man rights to drive first, wife will sit next to him and you'll be stuck with tot. Then wife will take next shift and you'll still be stuck!

Get the train

I hate that treating couples as one shit. You should only pay 1/3.

Well is it cheaper for you to drive yourself? If yes, then reply and say oh actually it's cheaper for me to drive myself so let's take our own cars and save the cost'

If no, then just suck it up, it's not worth the bad feeling for £20.

Shit I missed 18 pages somehow! Sorry.

Yep I totally meant couples experience time differently... and not that if they travel in two cars they’re already sharing driving and the OP can’t.

Still laughing at this.

I think it’s a much better plan to drive yourself, OP. They’d probably make you drive for half the time too.

1/3 each I'd say.

So you're hiring a car because his family is coming and splitting the petrol? Yes he pays more, if his family wasn't coming you'd go in your car and split the petrol. It's his problem and he should pay 2/3.

It should be 50/50, if it wasn’t for you they’d be going in their own car.

No EC22, if you check OP's posts you will find that OP was prepared to drive herself. Her cousin suggested going together. Now they are meeting up in the Lake District, if you look at OP's latest update, you will see that cousin's car is not large enough for him, wife, baby and luggage. He has asked OP to take some of their luggage.

Good reply OP.

To me, you should pay 1/3 and your cousin, wife and baby pay 2/3. I think it's mean and taking the P for 3 people to expect to pay the same as 1 person.
When we rent vehicles with other families we always pay 50:50 per family, but we're all couples with children. Thinking through your situation, I would never expect a single person to pay 50% when there is a family in the car as well, that's just not fair.

Nice response, OP.
Perhaps you could be "stopping to visit a friend" 😉 on the way to ensure you don't have to be put in a difficult position...

I would pay a third each or get your own car on principle.