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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU, is this Mumsnet all over?

208 replies

Hadjab · 30/09/2019 22:22

Seen on Facebook

“Mom A: “My house is on fire and my child is inside screaming. What do I do?! Picture for attention!"

Mom B: “Try changing his diet. We cut out everything except kale and it’s done wonders for our kids.”

Mom C: “Essential oils. Unrelated: I sell them.”

Mom D: “He’s fine. Helicopter moms ugh. I didn’t even use a car seat when I was a kid and I’m fine! 🙄”

Mom E: “He’s NOT FINE. My friend’s sister’s 2nd cousin had this happen and it was cancer. Google it!”

Mom F: “I’m a realtor and I’d love to help you find a new home!”

Mom G: “SAVE YOUR CHILD WHY ARE YOU ASKING STRANGERS ON THE INTERNET?!”

Mom H: “Rude ^ Have you tried separating the child from the fire?

Mom I: "Squirt some breastmilk on your child. Breastmilk cures everything"

Mom J: "Since there's so many ppl commenting here, can you tell me if this preg test is positive?! I'm only 2 days post ovulation but my boobs are sore and I'm nauseous"

Mom K: "I think there’s more to the story that you aren’t telling us. Please tell us your story from when you were born till now so we can evaluate your life and show you where you went wrong”

Mom L: “has he had his fire vaccinations yet? That will herd immunity protect him from the flames.”

Mom M: “I wish death upon you!^ How dare you believe in science and expose your child to heavy metals, autism, and ignorance by suggesting fire vaccinations!! Have you not seen Vaxxed?”

Mom N: just put some coconut oil on it!

Mom O: just latch him on demand to increase supply, lots of skin to skin.

Mom P: have you considered CIO? We tried it during the last fire and he only cried for 10 minutes. Hasn’t complained since.

Mom Q: I would NEVER let my child CIO. He is 16 years old and has never cried his whole life, not even for a minute. We still bed share and he nurses on demand 4-5 times a night.

Mom R: Did you have him evaluated for lip/tongue ties? I had my LO's revised last week and it has made a huge difference in his screaming.

Mom S: Is he formula fed? The formula companies don't want you to know that formula causes house fires. They work with the insurance companies, so it's really your fault that the house is on fire and he's screaming. I would NEVER feed that poison to my child.

Mom T: sometimes when you’re feeling overwhelmed just walk away. Come back when you’ve had a chance to breathe.

Mom U: Strip him down to just diaper. He's probably too warm! If his rectal temp is 100.4 he needs to go to the ER immediately!

Mom V: “Are you looking for a work from home option? Maybe if you were home with your child more you could’ve prevented the fire. Sending PM”

Mom W: Don't listen to any of this! Follow your mom gut! You're a great mom!

Mom X: let go and let God

Mom Y: don't stress. When he gets too hot, he'll come out on his own.

Mom Z: Girl use this alone time to get your hair done or go on a date night!“

OP posts:
ethelfleda · 01/10/2019 11:17

OP, house fires are very working class. You never hear of MC families having to deal with fires.

ethelfleda · 01/10/2019 11:27

I once had a fire and I was so angry I snapped and farted.

Rachelover60 · 01/10/2019 11:39

I had a puncture today. Should I buy a new car?

Flippetydip · 01/10/2019 11:41

@ethelfleda - I very very rarely laugh at posts on MN (as in actually laugh rather than just a brief heavy exhalation through the nose) but the "snapped and farted" made me properly chuckle.

Can someone remind me what post that was in originally?

Flippetydip · 01/10/2019 11:43

And OP -yes, it most definitely is MN - to a T!

DadDadDad · 01/10/2019 12:02

Dad A: Mumsnet is for dads too!

IncognitaIgnorama · 01/10/2019 12:13

Have you tried sex lube and a fish slice?

VetOnCall · 01/10/2019 12:37

Why didn't you just put it out with the Penis Beaker?

TheNestedIf · 01/10/2019 12:51

Hang on. Is there a fire? Why did nobody say?!

I bet Bing started it.

The little shit.

JaimeBronde · 01/10/2019 15:53

That's what happens when you let your child have unlimited fruit shoots, Greggs sausage rolls, pre cut fruit, naice ham, Pom Bears & a bottle of gin everyday.
If you'd fed your child your own home grown organic lentils harvested at midnight on the 1st of every month by 5 people with a classic name & a girl called Boden-Destiny-Mai-Spacewalk-Looeeeazsa-Aldi-Brexit-Waitrose-Boris -Johnson-Corbyn-Royal then you'd never have had a fire in the first place.

Hadjab · 01/10/2019 15:55

This thread is hilarious - thank you all Grin

OP posts:
JaimeBronde · 01/10/2019 15:56

I bet you're THAT PARENT too & buy bagged lettuce & artisan cheese for yourself to eat.

Btw I think you should get the boots in the 1st picture & buy the house in the 3rd photo.

ssd · 01/10/2019 15:58

Have we had the one yet where the 4 year old puts the fire out, makes everyone dinner then does the laundry?

turnthebiglightoff · 01/10/2019 16:17

This should go to classics!

JaimeBronde · 01/10/2019 16:35

I've reported this thread for being firephobic & anti fire.

Though I do think the fire got the the wrong house so that's why it was parked outside your house & in your driveway, for the last 89 days.
It's probably having an affair with the woman across the road & didn't want to look obvious.
Though tin hat time, could be a Mi6 Fire as maybe your neighbour is a Russian spy.

ladymalfoy · 01/10/2019 16:48

Go in all guns blazing and demand to see the Headteacher.

KurriKurri · 01/10/2019 17:10

House on fire ? - such a middle class first world problem. Get a grip - have you ever thought about Syria ???

Also - I lost my fire two years ago, I'd give anything to have the fire back, you should be grateful and make the most of your precious fire time.

Do you realise how offensive this thread is to people who have central heating ? We don't all have six figure salaries you know.

rslsys · 01/10/2019 17:21

I'm getting really sick of these constant Fire Trolls, I'm reporting this thread as of now!

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 01/10/2019 17:23

Go well?

ethelfleda · 01/10/2019 17:31

Another nomination for classics @MNHQ Grin

JaimeBronde · 01/10/2019 17:40

I also want to know what the Fire said.

Rachelover60 · 01/10/2019 17:42

'So' I hope this isn't TMI but last time me & BF DTD I had to have a poo in the middle of it. He hasn't contacted me since. AIBU to want to talk to him or do you think he is bored 'of' me? I did clean up afterwards so his wife wouldn't 'of' noticed, put sheets in washing machine so they would be all nice again. I don't want to 'loose' him.

FartnissEverbeans · 01/10/2019 17:46

Is this a reverse? Are you the fire, OP?

Yabbers · 01/10/2019 17:47

You missed out the mum that complains about parenting websites they are under no obligation to use.

Noodlewave · 01/10/2019 18:05

Ask the fire "did you mean to be so rude?"