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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU, is this Mumsnet all over?

208 replies

Hadjab · 30/09/2019 22:22

Seen on Facebook

“Mom A: “My house is on fire and my child is inside screaming. What do I do?! Picture for attention!"

Mom B: “Try changing his diet. We cut out everything except kale and it’s done wonders for our kids.”

Mom C: “Essential oils. Unrelated: I sell them.”

Mom D: “He’s fine. Helicopter moms ugh. I didn’t even use a car seat when I was a kid and I’m fine! 🙄”

Mom E: “He’s NOT FINE. My friend’s sister’s 2nd cousin had this happen and it was cancer. Google it!”

Mom F: “I’m a realtor and I’d love to help you find a new home!”

Mom G: “SAVE YOUR CHILD WHY ARE YOU ASKING STRANGERS ON THE INTERNET?!”

Mom H: “Rude ^ Have you tried separating the child from the fire?

Mom I: "Squirt some breastmilk on your child. Breastmilk cures everything"

Mom J: "Since there's so many ppl commenting here, can you tell me if this preg test is positive?! I'm only 2 days post ovulation but my boobs are sore and I'm nauseous"

Mom K: "I think there’s more to the story that you aren’t telling us. Please tell us your story from when you were born till now so we can evaluate your life and show you where you went wrong”

Mom L: “has he had his fire vaccinations yet? That will herd immunity protect him from the flames.”

Mom M: “I wish death upon you!^ How dare you believe in science and expose your child to heavy metals, autism, and ignorance by suggesting fire vaccinations!! Have you not seen Vaxxed?”

Mom N: just put some coconut oil on it!

Mom O: just latch him on demand to increase supply, lots of skin to skin.

Mom P: have you considered CIO? We tried it during the last fire and he only cried for 10 minutes. Hasn’t complained since.

Mom Q: I would NEVER let my child CIO. He is 16 years old and has never cried his whole life, not even for a minute. We still bed share and he nurses on demand 4-5 times a night.

Mom R: Did you have him evaluated for lip/tongue ties? I had my LO's revised last week and it has made a huge difference in his screaming.

Mom S: Is he formula fed? The formula companies don't want you to know that formula causes house fires. They work with the insurance companies, so it's really your fault that the house is on fire and he's screaming. I would NEVER feed that poison to my child.

Mom T: sometimes when you’re feeling overwhelmed just walk away. Come back when you’ve had a chance to breathe.

Mom U: Strip him down to just diaper. He's probably too warm! If his rectal temp is 100.4 he needs to go to the ER immediately!

Mom V: “Are you looking for a work from home option? Maybe if you were home with your child more you could’ve prevented the fire. Sending PM”

Mom W: Don't listen to any of this! Follow your mom gut! You're a great mom!

Mom X: let go and let God

Mom Y: don't stress. When he gets too hot, he'll come out on his own.

Mom Z: Girl use this alone time to get your hair done or go on a date night!“

OP posts:
Puzzledandpissedoff · 30/09/2019 23:18

Absolutely brilliant Grin

But they forgot "NC'd but been here a while - Penis Beaker, Cubes of Poo, etc" ...

EmmiJay · 30/09/2019 23:20

Excellent Grin

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 30/09/2019 23:21

Oh and the fire was probably caused by the useless slattern that is your child's Brownies leader. In her day job she is a teacher, GP receptionist, or if she's not that bad, just Lucifer.

LaMarschallin · 30/09/2019 23:22

LolaSmiles

I'd heard she was evidently a narc because she contributes to the house deposit fund and then probably started the fire

I KNEW IT!

That Molotov cocktail hurled through the window distinctly smelled of Zoflora and the blazing wick stuffed into the old Gordon's bottle looked suspiciously like the lovely scarf I had to take a mortgage out to buy her last Christmas!

KronksSpinachPuffs · 30/09/2019 23:23

You dont have a fire problem, you have a DH problem!

AutumnRose1 · 30/09/2019 23:24

For some reason, moms C and F are the best.

And that's not just because CF 😂

Trethew · 30/09/2019 23:32

Report it

Anothertempusername · 30/09/2019 23:35

Have you logged it with 101?

I wouldn't worry because OBVIOUSLY you can claim for it on your home insurance.

Dapplegrey · 30/09/2019 23:37

My friend’s sister’s 2nd cousin had this happen and it was cancer.
In that case it would be the friend’s second cousin.

JackieandWilson2 · 30/09/2019 23:37

Send it a cease and desist letter obviously!

turnthebiglightoff · 30/09/2019 23:47

This all sounds very dramatic. OP. I'd just calm down and have a glass of wine, tbh Grin

MrsAndyPowell · 30/09/2019 23:50

You're mistaken DappleGrey
In that case it would be the friend’s second cousin
I think you'll find it's the friends 94th second cousin once removed by surgical means, it's not common but it can happen.

Sashkin · 01/10/2019 00:02

PP: Are you sure it's even a fire? It sounds more like you've lit it yourself to be honest. If it was a real fire you'd have reacted totally differently, and more like I imagine I myself might act in a fire

OP: Yep, fire brigade on scene say it's definitely a fire

PP: Oh no, it's one of those posters who asks if she's being unreasonable, and when everyone says they are they just say no I'm not and flounce!

OP: I haven't flounced, but it's definitely a fire

PP: Is this the poo troll?

Somebody else: Your child is screaming that they want a new fire? Tell them to wait for christmas. Sorry OP, I couldn't be bothered reading any of the thread.

Third person: Placemarking!

First one again: I see OP hasn't been back for nearly ten minutes! Must be a troll.

3dogs2cats · 01/10/2019 00:04

I’ve looked at your history and you have posted before. Deeply suspicious. Is there SS involvement, you set that fire didn’t you?

Sashkin · 01/10/2019 00:06

To be honest OP, you don't sound like much of a friend

(posted in threads where this has nothing to do with the question being asked)

tolerable · 01/10/2019 00:07

.i think your dh is cheating on you.Have you checked his phone?

Sashkin · 01/10/2019 00:08

And why are you saying "Mom"? Are you American? Or from Birmingham? Do they really let people from Birmingham on the internet now? This isn't Nethuns.

Cattenberg · 01/10/2019 00:10

It’s obvious what’s really going on here. Your poor child is screaming for attention because you’re a neglectful drunk. Gin Angry Also, houses don’t just catch fire if you’ve been cleaning them properly. Hmm

Littlemeadow123 · 01/10/2019 00:12

"You are being very unreasonable. A little fire never hurt anyone."

And

"You mean he cant rescue himself? My son has been able to operate a fire extinguisher since he was four months old. I cant believe that you havent prepared him for this situation,"

ragged · 01/10/2019 00:13

LTB

EmeraldShamrock · 01/10/2019 00:15

Great thread. Grin
Where does the step parent fit into this dilemma.
Did MIL start the fire. Shock

Littlemeadow123 · 01/10/2019 00:18

I forgot this one.

"YABVVVU. The fire is obviously just trying to help. You should be grateful".

VenusTiger · 01/10/2019 00:21

It’s because you threw those haunted paintings from under your bed away.

RainbowsAndGlitterAndUnicorns · 01/10/2019 00:21

That's what happens when you use cleaning products! I only use Zoflora and my house has never caught fire. It's super clean and smells amazing

GetawayfromthatWelshtart · 01/10/2019 00:26

Was there a spider? Did you try and burn the house down because of a spider??