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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU, is this Mumsnet all over?

208 replies

Hadjab · 30/09/2019 22:22

Seen on Facebook

“Mom A: “My house is on fire and my child is inside screaming. What do I do?! Picture for attention!"

Mom B: “Try changing his diet. We cut out everything except kale and it’s done wonders for our kids.”

Mom C: “Essential oils. Unrelated: I sell them.”

Mom D: “He’s fine. Helicopter moms ugh. I didn’t even use a car seat when I was a kid and I’m fine! 🙄”

Mom E: “He’s NOT FINE. My friend’s sister’s 2nd cousin had this happen and it was cancer. Google it!”

Mom F: “I’m a realtor and I’d love to help you find a new home!”

Mom G: “SAVE YOUR CHILD WHY ARE YOU ASKING STRANGERS ON THE INTERNET?!”

Mom H: “Rude ^ Have you tried separating the child from the fire?

Mom I: "Squirt some breastmilk on your child. Breastmilk cures everything"

Mom J: "Since there's so many ppl commenting here, can you tell me if this preg test is positive?! I'm only 2 days post ovulation but my boobs are sore and I'm nauseous"

Mom K: "I think there’s more to the story that you aren’t telling us. Please tell us your story from when you were born till now so we can evaluate your life and show you where you went wrong”

Mom L: “has he had his fire vaccinations yet? That will herd immunity protect him from the flames.”

Mom M: “I wish death upon you!^ How dare you believe in science and expose your child to heavy metals, autism, and ignorance by suggesting fire vaccinations!! Have you not seen Vaxxed?”

Mom N: just put some coconut oil on it!

Mom O: just latch him on demand to increase supply, lots of skin to skin.

Mom P: have you considered CIO? We tried it during the last fire and he only cried for 10 minutes. Hasn’t complained since.

Mom Q: I would NEVER let my child CIO. He is 16 years old and has never cried his whole life, not even for a minute. We still bed share and he nurses on demand 4-5 times a night.

Mom R: Did you have him evaluated for lip/tongue ties? I had my LO's revised last week and it has made a huge difference in his screaming.

Mom S: Is he formula fed? The formula companies don't want you to know that formula causes house fires. They work with the insurance companies, so it's really your fault that the house is on fire and he's screaming. I would NEVER feed that poison to my child.

Mom T: sometimes when you’re feeling overwhelmed just walk away. Come back when you’ve had a chance to breathe.

Mom U: Strip him down to just diaper. He's probably too warm! If his rectal temp is 100.4 he needs to go to the ER immediately!

Mom V: “Are you looking for a work from home option? Maybe if you were home with your child more you could’ve prevented the fire. Sending PM”

Mom W: Don't listen to any of this! Follow your mom gut! You're a great mom!

Mom X: let go and let God

Mom Y: don't stress. When he gets too hot, he'll come out on his own.

Mom Z: Girl use this alone time to get your hair done or go on a date night!“

OP posts:
TheNestedIf · 01/10/2019 03:39

You forgot Mum 1a.

"We need a diagram."

Fatted · 01/10/2019 03:41

See THIS is what happens when you have a toilet brush!!

I used to have a fire once but it went out. I would give anything to have my fire again. You should be grateful for each precious moment you have with your fire.

TheNestedIf · 01/10/2019 03:45

Mum 1b "So you have a house. What is the problem exactly? Do you have a child?"

FunkyKingston · 01/10/2019 04:25

In the good old days (back when it was the domain of a narrow demographic of
London yummy mummies) the child imperiling fires were truly impressive.

Op: help, help my child is trapped in a building.

Poster one: place holding (gets popcorn)

Poster two: put.the fire out using your mooncup as a time water bucket

Poster three: when the fire brigade came to put out my house fire, I insisted they used Evian in the hoses.

Poster four: it has been two seconds since the op last posted, any updates op? I know you're being consoled as firefighters try to rescue your child, but this RUDE not to update

Poster five: why have you not taken up the mooncup suggestion? Clearly you don't want to be helped op. [Gavel]

FunkyKingston · 01/10/2019 04:34

Can't post about husbands hobby though as it's HUGELY outing. Everyone will instantly know who I am.

Fire breathing? Smoking kippers in the kids' bedroom? Hence the fire.

When someone writes about husband's hobby, I've always assumed it's dogging. In fact I mentally replace the word hobby with dogging as I'm reading about DH's 'hobby'.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 01/10/2019 04:41

I haven’t RTFT but have you tried using water to put the fire out?

TheNestedIf · 01/10/2019 05:22

Are you OK, OP?

TheNestedIf · 01/10/2019 05:24

ARE YOU OK, OP???!!!!!

TheNestedIf · 01/10/2019 05:32

ARE YOU OK, OP?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!

TheLittleDogLaughed · 01/10/2019 05:43

Haven’t read the full thread but have you spoken to HR?

Difficultcustomer · 01/10/2019 05:57

This is obviously a stealth boast that you live in a home.

Teacher22 · 01/10/2019 06:05

This is all the fault of the evil TORIES! And Brexit. And Maggie Thatcher.

wizzler · 01/10/2019 06:07

Interesting first post op.

Penguin bollards are your friend here.

DCITennison · 01/10/2019 06:17

Interesting first post.

ExhaustedGrinch · 01/10/2019 06:21

Is he always this controlling? Hmm

LadyAllegraImelda · 01/10/2019 06:42

Boris is coming to have a photo taken with you beside the fire, try to keep it going until he arrives.

QuitMoaning · 01/10/2019 06:43

I am not sure about this but then I suffer with anxiety.

Hadjab · 01/10/2019 06:46

@ClaudiaSchiffersUglySister read and run - grrrrrrrrr!!! I mean, who would even know that you read then ran???

OP posts:
Hadjab · 01/10/2019 06:47

@turnthebiglightoff it’s the answer to world peace!!!

OP posts:
LaMarschallin · 01/10/2019 07:06

Pinkarsedfly

And stop judging the fire. What you’ve seen is just a snapshot of its day. It might spend the rest of its time warming the homeless and cooking food for the starving for all you know. Unhoick your judgy pants.

One of my favourites.
Amongst many.

Monkeyseesmonkeydoes · 01/10/2019 07:09

This is totally inaccurate! You need someone coming in on the 3 or 4 post blaming trans people for the fire at which point the whole thread gets derailed into trans bashing...

PurpleSproutingSomething · 01/10/2019 07:36

First of all you need to get your ducks in a row, and then use some of your savings to buy you a new house.
Maybe with the rest of your savings buy a house abroad so you've always got somewhere to bolt to when DH or MIL are being dicks.

Moominfan · 01/10/2019 07:43

Not your circus not your monkeys

They might have learning difficulties

dayswithaY · 01/10/2019 07:44

Could they be on the autism spectrum?

readingismycardio · 01/10/2019 07:44

@TheCatsACunt 😂😂😂😂😂😂