A lot of people has said you don't know what goes on behind closed doors or what led to it.
No excuses for an affair, sorry if you are not happy then you leave. You don't go and have sex with another person.
All this excusing makes me sick.
Also you don't have to be bitter and resentful to have nothing to do with those who have hurt you. I'm not bitter or resentful, I accept that people are not always who I want or need them to be. I move on with acceptance but I live my life on my terms and if this means not appeasing people to appear nice then so be it. This is is hard won battle when you have had an abusive childhood and then an abusive marriage.
My own daughters learnt about how manipulative their dad is and what a liar. I would have done anything to shield them but I could not. It all came out on separation because of his behaviour.
I didn't have to tell them about the abuse as he made it plainly clear. And yes he does have another woman whom he has just married. This is my life and recently too.
On telling my 9 year old this summer she has decided to have nothing to do with him. This was coupled with him shouting at her for hours on end on two occasions when he had not seen her as we have moved away. Us moving naturally made contact harder, that was the point as he is very abusive to me but he should have not taken it out on a 9 year old. Am I happy that she wants nothing to do with him? No I would give anything for her to be daddy's little girl again, like she once was. And to take that heartbreak away from her.
However time does heal some wounds. So it's up to her if she forgives his behaviour, doubtful as he is a strict, controlling, manipulative person. But she could still have a relationship with him, albeit from a diatance.
So if when she is older and she has them at her wedding, I will not be there.
I do not mend bridges or offer conciliation on these types of things.
I can have a life and not be bitter or resentful but I need to do so on my terms. If I was to do as many on here have said/ do and carry on, then I would grow bitter deep down and become brittle as it would all just be a pretense for me.
I refuse to be friends or have a relationship with people whose morals, I don't agree with. I have said goodbye to friends who were intent on destroying themselves with one night stands and married men. I've said goodbye to two over the years. One was a friendship lasting 17 years but she did not see anything wrong with her behaviour and this coupled with the treatment of her son made it easy for me. To say this friendship is not working for me.