To think people don’t want to be sociable?

[hotpinkice]

AIBU to think most people just won’t come on nights out? Realistically, this is a young persons thing isn’t it?

Detest nights out. I love a daytime meet with friends so happy for breakfast, coffee, lunch etc. But when I get home I want to stay there.

Oh, and boring I may be but I'm not miserable in the slightest and I haven't turned my tv on in years!

I hate nights out - I'm a 30 something FT working (and pregnant) mum to a toddler. I have to be away from him all day, there's no way I'm going to be voluntarily away from him in the evening too.
Fortunately my friends are like minded and no one is really a clubbing kind of person. We tend to meet at the weekend so the kids can play and we have a cup of tea together and a natter. My friends who don't yet have children love to sit and play Duplo with DC so that's our preferred entertainment.

I love the theatre or cinema in the winter.

In the summer, when London is hot and crowded during the day at weekends, we generally do still about the house.

But in the evening, DH and I sometimes jump on a bus to central London and wander through the leafy squares of Bloomsbury, around the newly tarted up Kings Cross area and through Soho and the West End.

We stop for a drink, and maybe later for something to eat and walk home which takes about an hour and a half. We talk throughout and often notice new places, see interesting things and have great people watching opportunities! Our phones are away and we have some of our best together time.

There are always loads of Middle Eastern Cafes open on the way home with people smoking sheesha, having fun with their families and generally there’s a nice vibe with lots to see. Because we’re together it never feels unsafe - I always feel fine in central London and the walk back is mainly along major routes with loads of cafes, bars with people outside in the summer.

That’s my favourite night out. We walk for hours and talk for hours, and it could be as cheap as a bus fare if we were to go after eating.

Depends on your definition of a 'night out'. My idea of a great night out is cinema, theatre or comedy club with family or dh and I going for a nice meal. Would much rather have that than pubs and clubs, in fact can't think of anything worse! We both work hard and have a ds and dealing with everything else life throws at you, so love to chill with a bit of TV in the evenings. Having said that we no longer drink and had our fill of fun, crazy nights out in our 20's!

I also dont like nights out. prefer to be at home. We spent alot of time and money on the house to spend our time at home. dont mind having people over though. You can be sociable in the day too.

I'd love one once in a while to a nice bar ! But it'd take me the full next day and night to recover now 😷😅

The demographic on MN seems to be older Parents, who are knackered.

I'm surrounded by people who have had their children in their 20's (me included) and are still up for a night out in their 50's (which i am).

So if you're missing people to go out with just look for a different demographic.

My issue is having someone to go to the theatre with. I'm considering joining a theatre group. Likewise a walking group.

I usually agree to a night out, then spend the whole time leading up to it wishing I wasn't going out and wondering if I can feign illness, then have a great time and last to leave. I'm 43 .

I love a night out with the "girls" Most of them are retired so we do go to restaurants ,shows and concerts. At Christmas we sometimes have a dance!
DP has turned into an old man who can't see the point of paying pub prices when he can get two bottles of wine for the price of a round and sit watching TV. I don't drink much but love the social aspect of going to the pub and doing the quiz etc. You only live once!

i like to be at home in the evenings but can sometimes be persuaded to socialise in the day time. sometimes. I'm perfectly happy in my own company as much as possible.

It depends really - a Wednesday night out clubbing? No! But a swift half in the pub with some good friends, or a nice meal, then very much yes!

Oh and I’m 27 with a one year old and I’m still knackered! Would rather stay in with a cup of tea, yummy food and strictly while DD sleeps upstairs.

Is part of the issue committing to something in advance, not knowing how you will feel on the day?

@FredaFrogspawn that sounds perfect.

People just wanna stay home sometimes esp if weather is rubbish

I am 38 and have no children. I'd enjoy a meal out or going to the cinema or something along those lines. I don't really enjoy pubs or clubs so wouldn't want to do either. I was the same at 20 though, didn't like them then either but would go along because I didn't have the confidence to say that

I love nights out and so do most people I know.
I go to most things I'm invited to. I almost never cancel.

Most of the above posts I have trouble understanding.

Depends what night out means. If it's nightclubs, no. Or even worse if it's a night with work colleagues. If it's a meal and drinks out with my DH, yes.

Love going out! I'm 34 with 3 children including a Toddler. Regularly go out til the early hours. A weekend in is a weekend wasted!! I love any social thing, meals, cinema ,clubbing.. love hen dos, birthdays and weddings. Nobody on mumsnet would be friends with me haha

Why are the (few) posters who still go clubbing and partying over the age of 35, pouring scorn and derision on people over 35 who like to stay in of an evening most of the time, or just go to see a show and have a quiet meal?

At least 3 or 4 posters have called most people on this thread, boring and miserable and dull, and said they don't understand the posts on here, and the thread is 'depressing.'

Commenting that people are boring, because they don't want to act like a 19 year old, when they're knocking the door of middle age, is just rude and judgemental. No-one on here has said anything about people who DO go clubbing in their middle age! (Well not so far!)

Most people (including me) tend to do all their partying and clubbing before their mid 30s, and people still doing it in their late 30s, their 40s and their 50s (and older) are the exception rather than the rule.

The only ones I know who are clubbing and partying when they're close to their middle age, are people who settled down really young and started having babies whilst still in the teens; so they're living the youth they never had.

I could say that women 35-40+ clubbing til 3am several times a month, in a place that usually has teenagers and uni students, is a bit sad and tragic, but that would be catty and snide. Just like calling people boring and sad for not wanting to go partying and nightclubbing past the age of 35!

Moreover, most people don't want to be arsed (by 30-35,) because we have already DONE it all (for at least 10-15 years,) and have had enough of it.

I can only surmise that the few posters who still do it, didn't do it when they were young, and they're trying to re-live the fun and wild youth they never had.

Crack on by all means, but stop slagging off and deriding people who have been there done that, and don't wish to do it anymore!

Just because someone doesn't do the same as you, that does not make them 'boring.' People like this (the few judgy ones on here) are the kind of nightmare people who I avoid like the plague. Moaning and nagging for you to go out partying and clubbing, and calling you 'boring' when you say no!

People like this (the few judgy ones on here) are the kind of nightmare people who I avoid like the plague. Moaning and nagging for you to go out partying and clubbing, and calling you 'boring' when you say no!
I agree. I wonder if they're the same people who think people must have a drink to have fun so insist on pushing the issue "go on, have one glass with the meal, you'll be fine to drive later, it's just a glass", "we can share a taxi so you can drink... I don't want to thank you... Oh go on, we're going dancing later.... It's fine thank you, I'm not interested in clubbing but would love to come to the pub.. but with a taxi you can drink because you don't need to worry about driving... It's not a worry. I'm quite happy driving home around midnight"

@LolaSmiles

I agree. I wonder if they're the same people who think people must have a drink to have fun so insist on pushing the issue "go on, have one glass with the meal, you'll be fine to drive later, it's just a glass", "we can share a taxi so you can drink... I don't want to thank you... Oh go on, we're going dancing later.... It's fine thank you, I'm not interested in clubbing but would love to come to the pub.. but with a taxi you can drink because you don't need to worry about driving... It's not a worry. I'm quite happy driving home around midnight."

Yep, definitely the same people LOLA.

I find they are either terminally single, or as I said, they settled down too young (and are trying to live the crazy wild youth they missed out on,) or they are in a bit of a boring mundane marriage/relationship. Most people 30-35+ who are happy and settled and have everything they want and need at home, don't need to go out clubbing and partying like a teenager.

What's more, as I said, most people have done it all by then, and associate it with youth, not something someone close to middle age does! Being wild and reckless, and partying and getting pissed as a fart is NOT a good look on anyone over 35. And it's not ageist to say that. It's true.

The thing is it's not even that they don't that annoys me, it's the insistence that I musn't be able to enjoy the evening unless I have wine with the meal, I couldn't enjoy the afternoon out unless I have prosecco on the train, I couldn't enjoy social drinks down the pub unless I'm having alcohol, those of us who don't want to go "out out" after the pub quiz clearly can't have had a good evening and so need persuading to stay out later.

I wouldn't care so much as sometimes I go out for quiet drinks with friends and the next thing we've had a few to drink and it's 2am so I'm not a prude by any stretch of the imagination. I just don't feel the need to live up to the drink alcohol to have fun thing.

Love going out! I'm 34 with 3 children including a Toddler. Regularly go out til the early hours. A weekend in is a weekend wasted!! I love any social thing, meals, cinema ,clubbing.. love hen dos, birthdays and weddings. Nobody on mumsnet would be friends with me haha

Sounds expensive

Depends who I would be socialisng with. I’m always happy to enjoy a night out with old friends who I don’t get to see as often as I would like due to distance and busy working lives.

Socialising with work colleagues who I spend all day every day with is a completely different matter, and not something I am keen on doing more than once or twice a year.