To be wary of making any further payments?

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I've been very stupid by not keeping a log of everything and am now in a real pickle.

A friend allowed me to purchase items on a catalogue in her name. This was various items over 12 months. I was not the only person, which means the payments made monthly onto the catalogue were for various peoples orders.

I stupidly didn't keep a record of what was bought and what was paid back.

I've asked a few times now for her to send me information of the total cost, along with payments made towards that. She keeps saying she will do this, but never does.

She's not messaging me up to 10 times a day saying I need to pay at least 100 per month because I owe her over 2k.

Looking at my bank statements I have already paid back over 1k.

I ordered clothing, kids Xmas presents last year, a smart watch, laptop.

Am I Being a terrible person to not want to keep putting money into her bank without seeing proof of how much I owe at least?

I'm worried that I'll end up paying money back indefinitely even after clearing the balance.

I'm grateful that I had the opportunity to buy things on the catalogue, but I just want a statement or something to show where I'm up to.

I now feel harassed and stressed by the constant texts. Should I just put more money into her bank?

She should have a record of how much you owe and payments made, she is essentially running a small business and should already have provides you with them.
I would agree meet up with her and sort things out properly and then put it on a business footing for both your sakes.

Hi op your "friend" is a loan shark and what she is doing is very much illegal. Have a look at this:

www.stoploansharks.co.uk/who-we-are/

I know some of you are saying message her rather than ignore, but i know from past experience if I engage, then rather than send me the proof I will instead be fed a guilt trip.
Such as I should trust her, she has her mortgage to pay and if I don't pay she will have to pay it and when she won't be able to eat or something.
She's said similar in the past then once I've paid she's then been on holiday a week later, or on a night out, or shopping for non essentials.

I suffer from anxiety and she knows this. She knows how to play on my guilt and anxiety.

I've already asked for proof around 5 times in the last few months. I can't see how replying to her right now will do any good other than cause myself more stress.

If she is able to tell you your ‘outstanding balance’ then she should be able to give you a full breakdown of what you owed initially and what you have paid to date
Stay strong and ignore

Exactly. If she had the information and wanted paying with no fuss, she would just send the info over, wouldn't she?
Rather than all this shit of saying she's trying to help me, what's going on I've been texting you, making out like she's all innocent and sweet and I'm a horrible person for not instantly replying.
I'll be honest, each message feels like a lure to get me to reply. Each one feels more and more guilt trippy.

I'm under a lot of pressure at work this week and would rather she just leave me alone. If she had the info she could email it, text it or post it to me. But she's had months to provide that and hasn't. I suspect it's all bullshit the figure she's plucked out of thin air.

Stay strong

I know you want to ignore her but I don’t think you should. That gives her ammunition.

I agree with YobaOljazUwaque - just keep sending her message repeatedly in response to any message you get from her.

You don’t want a situation where she tries to go down the legal route with you and you are seen to have ignored her. Whereas if you send a calm response saying the same thing each and every time it shows your position very clearly. I know you have asked for the statement before but you need to keep asking. It’s a pain. But I think it needs to be done.

I know you keep saying about being guilt tripped but I do think you now have ammunition to reply to her and say, I don’t want to short change you - I’m happy to pay the full £850 if owed, but I need to see the statements as previously requested. Once I have these I will send over the money. Call her bluff!!

I can only tell you what I would do if this was me. I would see a solicitor and get them to write her a formal letter. (I would also try to claim back what you've overpaid.)

that is stupid! she should be able to provide historical statements which you can tie up with online order history. i would not pay until i had been able to reconcile i don't see what's unreasonable about that.

Can you not tell her that you will not be repaying anything until you receive all the receipt of what you bought and what you have paid for. Ignoring her isn't going to make the situation go away. It will probably make things worse.

If you owe her money she has every right to get it back if you are over paying you have every right to stop paying . But you aren't really going to get anywhere by ignoring her.

So far today I have 2 missed calls (on my blocked list) and email to my work email address (which is monitored ffs) and the same email forwarded to my personal email address.

It basically says that I have 7 days or she will take legal action. Mentions her calling my work or coming down to my work to discuss.

Funnily enough there is no proof attached to the email. Why would you go to all that effort and not provide the proof.

She says I've gone against our arrangement and she's not had a payment from me since end September. That if I pay 200 she will write off the rest, otherwise she is taking legal action.

What a lovely way to cause additional stress on a Friday.

After your last update, I would reply as follows.

This is the last message that I will send you. Please do not contact me again unless via your solicitor. I have asked you to provide me with a statement for X months now and you have not. According to my records, I have paid all that I owe and will not be entering into any more discussions with you or paying you any more money without clear proof that it is owing. I am perfectly happy to meet with your solicitor to go through your Very statements and my bank statements to show what has been purchased and what I have paid you. I am not happy to have any further contact with you and will regard it as harassment.

You can contact citizens advice by phone or web chat if your unable to go in.

I'd send her a letter listing the items purchased, payments you've made and how much you've overpaid by. Request a refund of this amount within 14 days.

Send it signed for.

I would initially reply to her text saying that you're seeking legal advice yourself as you've overpaid and that she is now harassing you. State all further contact is to be in writing.

I think you are right to keep ignoring her. I'd maybe consider a chat with work to warn them there is an ongoing issue, just in case, but it sounds all hot air to me.

You need to reply, you can’t keep sticking your head in the sand.

Reply asking for an itemised statement of your account with her again. I know you’ve done it before but do it officially and say you will not engage in any further communication until you’ve had it.

A solicitor won’t accept her say-so without proof. She can’t take legal action without proving what you bought, how much you paid and how much you owe. And if she had that info and could prove you owed her money she’d send it to you. She’s bluffing.

I agree you should reply saying don’t contact me again, take legal action if you want but I believe I’ve paid and have yet to see any proof otherwise.

@MaybeNew has it spot on. I would Send that message

Your getting hassled anyway! Reply to the email to your personal account something like.

'As I have stated many times, I am not willing to pay anymore money until you provide me with account statement, and a complete breakdown of what I owe so that I can compare it to the payments I have made. You can email them to this address but otherwise I won't be responding to any further messages.'

If you feel confident enough I would add.

'Please stop harassing me otherwise, I will be seeking legal advice myself.'

Legally she doesn't have a leg to stand on you have no written agreement in place and in order to claim anything she a needs to prove the debt and b prove that you are responsible to it and agreed to pay it she can't do that because if she could she would have provided it to you.

The rest is just scare tactics...also who is willing to writes of 800 pounds? No one stay strong and stay firm.

She’s just trying to put the wind up you, as you know.

I’d be tempted to say “if you’re going to pursue it legally, then you’ll have to draw up all the information I’ve repeatedly asked for - which is fab, as you’ll be able to give it to me, finally”.

But I wouldn’t actually feed her with more engagement.

Loving the £850. Wasn’t that £2000 last month?

I think you need to be clear with her that you will pay her what you still owe but only when she shows an itemised statement showing your purchases, the terms of those purchases and the payments made.

I would say, however, looking at the item list you post earlier, you would not have been eligible for Very's by now pay later 12-month terms for many of the items.

Very offer these options:

Take 3 - Here you pay the cost of the item, without any interest spread over three months. You do not have to do anything special at checkout to take advantage of this.

By now pay later 6 months - Only available on purchases over £100. Must be a single purchase, not a cumulative bill. You must select to apply this to the purchase during check out.

By now pay later 12 months- Only available on purchases over £300. Must be a single purchase, not a cumulative bill. You must select to apply this to the purchase during check out.

It seems to me lots of what you listed wouldn't have met the spending requirements for the 6 or 12 months. So if you didn't pay it off within three months you would have started to be charged interest, at quite a high rate. This could explain why you have such a high balance left.

Do you remember specifically selecting the by now pay later options when checking out? Of course on each of these, if you have any balance remaining at the end of the period interest is added for the whole period at once.

I do think your friend needs to contact very and ask for an itemised breakdown showing what is outstanding under what payment terms. It seems neither of you is sure what is really happening with the account.

And now she is willing to accept £200 and write off the rest, I very much doubt you owe her anything.

As PPs have said reply repeating you want to see the statements as you have records of what you have paid, and keep replying in the same way, short and to the point.

I actually let a couple of friends use my catalogue a few years ago and I made payment cards which I filled in when they paid and showed them.

Forget solicitors, contact police for extortion and harassment! How many people is she doing this to?

Email her so you have it on record:

"I have repeatedly asked you to provide proof of what I owe you, you have refused. All my texts and emails will be provided to your solicitor as proof of your refusal to be honest in our agreement. If you contact me again, my solicitor will send a cease and desist to you, and I will log harassment with the police."