Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be wary of making any further payments?

570 replies

Abcdefgfedcba · 28/09/2019 08:46

I've been very stupid by not keeping a log of everything and am now in a real pickle.

A friend allowed me to purchase items on a catalogue in her name. This was various items over 12 months. I was not the only person, which means the payments made monthly onto the catalogue were for various peoples orders.

I stupidly didn't keep a record of what was bought and what was paid back.

I've asked a few times now for her to send me information of the total cost, along with payments made towards that. She keeps saying she will do this, but never does.

She's not messaging me up to 10 times a day saying I need to pay at least 100 per month because I owe her over 2k.

Looking at my bank statements I have already paid back over 1k.

I ordered clothing, kids Xmas presents last year, a smart watch, laptop.

Am I Being a terrible person to not want to keep putting money into her bank without seeing proof of how much I owe at least?

I'm worried that I'll end up paying money back indefinitely even after clearing the balance.

I'm grateful that I had the opportunity to buy things on the catalogue, but I just want a statement or something to show where I'm up to.

I now feel harassed and stressed by the constant texts. Should I just put more money into her bank?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
happinessischocolate · 03/10/2019 19:43

I suspect since she’s defaulted catalogue she has been locked out the account hence she can’t get into account to prove why anyone owes and I don’t think she’s paid very a penny but still enjoys the cash alternative .

Good point. I said before that I think she ordered all the stuff for her "friends" and has been spending their repayments on herself, her account will probably be locked and they'll be debt collectors chasing the full balance, so she has no way of doing a breakdown.

Do an honest assessment of what you bought, ensure you've paid it back and then you're in the clear.

GetMeOffThisCycleOfMisery · 04/10/2019 13:53

Any update OP?

Original poster
Abcdefgfedcba · 05/10/2019 09:17

She is on holiday so I won't hear from her now. I may hear nothing until the end of the month once I get paid.

Will be standing my ground and not paying anything more without more information from her.

OP posts:
katewhinesalot · 05/10/2019 09:39

She'll fob you off and you'll end up paying because you'll be frightened of her dh turning up.
Why haven't you gone to CAB so they can help you draft some form of letter to make her give you the info. Doing it properly and legally will lead to a greater chance of it not leading to her getting her husband involved.

ThatssomebadhatHarry · 05/10/2019 13:05

Op stop paying and get some legal advice. She is a loan shark and acting illegally. Go to the police or at least citizens advice.

Original poster
Abcdefgfedcba · 05/10/2019 15:30

I currently cannot take any time off to go to CAB. I work full time and am not willing to put my job at risk for her.

OP posts:
MRex · 05/10/2019 16:09

What about the letter that we all advised you send listing your known debts, known payments, no interest within 12 months and therefore declaring the debt overpaid? It's actually very important that you send that.

WarshipWarrior · 05/10/2019 16:44

OP it's fine just done pay until she sends you proof. I guarantee she wont do anything because she knows shes being ridiculous/dodgy in some way.

blackcat86 · 05/10/2019 17:56

OP you can call citizens advice and I'm sure you have a lunch break. You've had lots of advice so it's for you to take it forward now

Original poster
Abcdefgfedcba · 05/10/2019 18:01

I didn't send her a letter, I sent her an email and also a text.

OP posts:
Aridane · 05/10/2019 18:10

Go to the police or at least citizens advice

"Hello, police. My mate / childminder bought loads of stuff for me on her catalogue account. I have to pay her back but don't know what I ordered, when and for how much. She thinks I owe her more, I don't really know as I can't remember / don't have records. Please arrest this criminal"

Dragonsmother · 05/10/2019 18:34

Work out what you have brought, the cost. Add the APR. Deduct what you have paid. This will give you the sum you owe.....or you could go round the house round up what you brought and return it?

Original poster
Abcdefgfedcba · 05/10/2019 19:33

Dragons... Why is that something I didn't even think of haha. That would get me a list at least. It's mainly clothes and stocking fillers I'm struggling with. The big items are on the list already.

OP posts:
mummmy2017 · 05/10/2019 19:43

Abcdefgfedcba
You are better off waiting till you get her list.
There is nothing anyone can till this is produced, including your ex friend.
She has to provide something to be able to say you owe her.
So just keep saying to her, I have paid everything I know off, please provide receipts for everything....

Original poster
Abcdefgfedcba · 05/10/2019 19:49

mummmy I agree. It will just be a nightmare situation, but I can't just keep making payments with no end goal. And I do feel as though I have now fully paid for everything. And within the no interest period.

As someone mentioned earlier, if she has chosen not to pay that money onto the items I bought, when I sent the payments to her and this has resulted in her having interest added, that's her problem not mine.

OP posts:
colourlessgreenidea · 05/10/2019 19:50

or you could go round the house round up what you brought and return it?

How can she return stuff she bought a year ago and that has been used for 10 months? Confused

greeentopmilk · 05/10/2019 20:03

You need to get a professional to deal with this. An accountant/finance expert type person.

See if the woman will agree to have someone go through the account with a fine tooth comb and give you a figure inclusive of interest that you owe if anything.

Neither of you have a clue what is going on or where you are upto and it's going to spiral out of control.

This woman must be totally stupid to get in this mess.

mummmy2017 · 06/10/2019 16:27

Actually it is up to the person supplying the goods to prove what is still owed not for Abcdefgfedcba to invent figures.
Just stay strong and tell her you need figures to pay, no proof of purchase no money .

Evilmorty · 06/10/2019 22:09

The interest means eff all really because it’s legally her debt, her interest. Unless you signed a contract with her saying you would pay back at 18.5%apr or whatever, you are not liable for any interest. Didn’t write it, didn’t happen.

BigChocFrenzy · 07/10/2019 00:40

"You need to get a professional to deal with this"

No the OP does not need to do anything

The friend has the debt to Very and has to prove that the OP still owes her a specific amount

If the OH starts harassing, then phone the police
Both friend and her OH sound very dodgy

BigChocFrenzy · 07/10/2019 00:45

v v unlikely that the friend can prove you owe even the original sum - which you think you have already paid - let alone interest

Don't forget to include the sums she took from your cash card, when adding up all you paid already

And FGS Do NOT borrow from anyone or buy anything on credit this Christmas !
if that means cutting Christmas right down, even for the DC, stick to it.

ellendegeneres · 23/10/2019 09:22

Op I was following your thread and popped back to see if any progress?

BlessedBeTheFruitCake · 23/10/2019 10:36

Oh dear, this sounds very messy. How long ago did the "friend" stop being your childminder? If you paid childminding fees directly to her account as you did the catalogue items could she make out the money was for childminding fees and you still owe her £££s?
What a pickle. I hope she will give you a statement of what you owe but I fear pps are right, the account is frozen because she's missed payments.

orangesandlemons86 · 27/10/2019 09:54

Any news at the end of the month op?

Peridot1 · 27/10/2019 10:15

I was wondering about this thread yesterday. Any update OP? Did you manage to do the list at least?

Swipe left for the next trending thread