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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be wary of making any further payments?

570 replies

Abcdefgfedcba · 28/09/2019 08:46

I've been very stupid by not keeping a log of everything and am now in a real pickle.

A friend allowed me to purchase items on a catalogue in her name. This was various items over 12 months. I was not the only person, which means the payments made monthly onto the catalogue were for various peoples orders.

I stupidly didn't keep a record of what was bought and what was paid back.

I've asked a few times now for her to send me information of the total cost, along with payments made towards that. She keeps saying she will do this, but never does.

She's not messaging me up to 10 times a day saying I need to pay at least 100 per month because I owe her over 2k.

Looking at my bank statements I have already paid back over 1k.

I ordered clothing, kids Xmas presents last year, a smart watch, laptop.

Am I Being a terrible person to not want to keep putting money into her bank without seeing proof of how much I owe at least?

I'm worried that I'll end up paying money back indefinitely even after clearing the balance.

I'm grateful that I had the opportunity to buy things on the catalogue, but I just want a statement or something to show where I'm up to.

I now feel harassed and stressed by the constant texts. Should I just put more money into her bank?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
scubadive · 31/10/2019 09:21

Hi op, you say that very delivered the items you bought directly to your house.

If so you need to contact very. You need to explain the situation, that your ‘friend’ has been trying to run a business through her account with them.

Encouraging friends to order, charging monthly amounts and then refusing to confirm debt was paid and charging more. Ask them for confirmation of all items delivered to your address, they should be able to do this if you explain the whole situation.

Refuse any further payments until she provides copies of all her statements for the last 12 months. That should ensure statements are provided.

Interesting that she was ‘busy’ as soon as you sent her £100 and now away. She is clearly scamming everyone by overcharging, why else would she be encouraging everyone to order through her account.

When you tell very this, they will be very interested and will see other items going to other people’s addresses, she needs to be stopped op.

MutedUser · 31/10/2019 09:51

Very will never tell the OP what someone has ordered on their account ever. It’s illegal for them to do so. They might take note and investigate the OPs friend but they will never tell a random what someone else has bought .

StormTreader · 31/10/2019 10:25

What @Jeezoh said
"I believe I have actually paid in full with the last payment which is why I wanted an itemised list from you of what I ordered and what I've paid so I can check it against my records to confirm :)"

She doesnt know you havent been keeping records, let her think you have and she'll be less tempted to try and blag it.

highheelsandweathercocks · 31/10/2019 11:30

Good on you for taking a stand OP. She knows that you've got her number now which is why she's offering to write off what you allegedly owe.
Agree that she's trying to get you to pay for her Christmas. Don't answer at all. She wants you to engage. Her comment of 'trying to help you' is manipulation. Intimidation hasn't worked, so she's switched tack. She'll probably switch back soon. Block her first.

Original poster
Abcdefgfedcba · 31/10/2019 12:13

She's now messaging on what's app too. Blocking is needed I need to stop being so soft.

OP posts:
RumpoleoftheBaileys · 31/10/2019 12:27

You just need to tell her that unless she can prove (With receipts and orders etc) that unless you do owe that money, you are not giving her anything as you believe you have overpaid.

highheelsandweathercocks · 31/10/2019 12:39

I disagree. She's stepping up her campaign for a reaction. I say this as someone who had to deal with a person like this for two decades. Not about money, but wanting their own way. The only way to deal with them is complete silence. Any reaction is a win. Take control of the situation and maintain your silence. You have tried to be reasonable and open it up for discussion with evidence of payments made. That hasn't worked. Si the time for negotiation is over. You've said all you are going to on the matter. Let your silence speak for you now.

And if you start to waver, or doubt yourself, consider that this time last month you allegedly owed her over £2000. This month she has dropped that to a little over £1000, but is offering to write it off for £200. Her story doesn't stay straight. Yours does.

Original poster
Abcdefgfedcba · 31/10/2019 12:47

I have blocked her number. I'm sure I'll still get messages from her husband or other means. Probably email will be next.
But I'm not going to reply. Every message I receive causes stress for me and the last thing I want is to encourage that.

OP posts:
highheelsandweathercocks · 31/10/2019 12:52

Don't delete any emails or any of her previous messages. If they continue to harass you, they are evidence of it.

Sunsoottitsoot · 31/10/2019 16:02

Good luck OP - I read the full thread and agree theres no way anyone would just write off up to 1k.

Wherecanwegetoff123 · 31/10/2019 16:27

Surely you know what you ordered...? Have a look on the catalogue website at how much the items cost or as close as of not sold any more then look at the terms and conditions regarding interest and add it on.... Compare to your payments made. Quite simple really

VaggieMight · 31/10/2019 16:39

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at poster's request.

MutedUser · 31/10/2019 18:57

Well done for standing your ground.

BumbleBeee69 · 31/10/2019 21:37

well done for finally standing your ground OP.

MyNewBearTotoro · 31/10/2019 22:06

Well done for blocking her and I hope she gets the message you’re not paying any more and leaves you alone.

Another40ththread · 31/10/2019 22:11

I'm also going against the grain. I think you need to send one last message making it clear that you think you have overpaid as per @Jeezoh reply (would send it word for word). That way if she does try to take it further, the onus is on her to provide the evidence.

But yes, she is a CF!

magoria · 31/10/2019 22:21

I agree with Another40. You should send a message saying according to your calculations you have over paid and by how much.

She can either give you a breakdown or a refund.

Examssuck · 31/10/2019 22:57

This is fucking mental. Absolutely mental.

OP it’s coming up to that dangerous, expensive time of year again. Please please please do not get yourself into debt to give your children the Christmas you think they need.

BlackCatSleeping · 31/10/2019 23:02

Good luck! It sounds like she has gotten herself into a big mess and is using you to help get herself out of it. It isn’t fair.

Original poster
Abcdefgfedcba · 31/10/2019 23:09

She is blocked, but I get a notification that allows me to view it.
Another just says '??????? What's going on????????'

OP posts:
MiniCooperLover · 01/11/2019 00:39

You need to tell her OP that you feel you've paid in full, if not over paid and ask her to prove otherwise ... blocking doesn't solve the issue

FelixFelicis6 · 01/11/2019 01:10

Errrr she sounds like a professional scammer or something. Crazy. Don’t pay another penny.

YobaOljazUwaque · 01/11/2019 01:41

I think 'broken record' is a better strategy than blocking. Reply to every text and message with "you still haven't given me a full statement but as far as I can work out I have already paid what I owe in full. If you believe otherwise I need full written details showing clearly how you work out what you think I owe. I can't pay you another penny without this." - just keep a copy of that text and paste it in reply to every single message. Blocking won't get the message across and will make you look bad if she escalates this dispute.

bluebella4 · 01/11/2019 01:57

Don't pay anymore until you receive receipts! You could possibly be paying for someone else.

Why is she using her husband to intimate you?

AllyBamma · 01/11/2019 02:16

I agree with @YobaOljazUwaque - you need to keep reiterating that another cent will not be paid until she can prove what you owe (if anything). Every message she sends, reply with this request ad nauseum.