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Original poster

To be wary of making any further payments?

570 replies

Abcdefgfedcba · 28/09/2019 08:46

I've been very stupid by not keeping a log of everything and am now in a real pickle.

A friend allowed me to purchase items on a catalogue in her name. This was various items over 12 months. I was not the only person, which means the payments made monthly onto the catalogue were for various peoples orders.

I stupidly didn't keep a record of what was bought and what was paid back.

I've asked a few times now for her to send me information of the total cost, along with payments made towards that. She keeps saying she will do this, but never does.

She's not messaging me up to 10 times a day saying I need to pay at least 100 per month because I owe her over 2k.

Looking at my bank statements I have already paid back over 1k.

I ordered clothing, kids Xmas presents last year, a smart watch, laptop.

Am I Being a terrible person to not want to keep putting money into her bank without seeing proof of how much I owe at least?

I'm worried that I'll end up paying money back indefinitely even after clearing the balance.

I'm grateful that I had the opportunity to buy things on the catalogue, but I just want a statement or something to show where I'm up to.

I now feel harassed and stressed by the constant texts. Should I just put more money into her bank?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
Lulualla · 29/09/2019 20:51

@Nat6999

If the woman hasn't made any payments to Very then that won't affect OP at all. The account is in that woman's name. The debt is in that woman's name. If she doesn't pay it off, Very will come after her. Not the OP. If this woman hasn't been paying Very, then it doesn't affect OP. No one can come after her.

If this woman decides to take her to small claims, she will need to.show proof of the purchase. And OP just needs to show the evidence of her payments which were all made by bank transfer. It is not OP's responsible to ensure that this woman then pays Very. As long as she sent the money to her friend, then she's fine. She can also show the numerous requests for statements of purchases and dates of interest free ending, and she can show that the friend has refused. So she can't be accused of trying not to pay.

OP, you don't need to go around trying to 'get advice'. Just send her an email (and do not delete your copy of it) listing your purchases and your payments and state that you have paid for everything that you are aware of. Ask her for proof if there are other purchases sent to your address, and ask her for proof that she has paid down on each of the items on dates matching your payments. If her payments were late, then any interest is not for problem because you paid her.

ThatssomebadhatHarry · 29/09/2019 20:54

Are you sure you have bought stuff via a catalogue or paying for stolen things.

I would demand a copy of the receipts or say you will be going to the police.

Mikki77 · 29/09/2019 20:54

If the goods were sent to your house there must have a been an invoice?? If you cant find it then call the catalogue people they will have a record of what was sent to tour house and take it from there. Good luck

HJWT · 29/09/2019 20:57

@gamerchick I use very tor BNPL and always pay it of way before the 12 month limit, so no point in paying more for me.

Lulualla · 29/09/2019 20:57

@ThatssomebadhatHarry

She logged into her friend's account on Very and ordered them herself, using her friend's credit account. No stolen goods. Nothing to involve the police about.
If harassment starts then the police can be called.

@Mikki77
She's been asked about that several times and hadnt answered, which probably means she chucked them in the bin.

Cryalot2 · 29/09/2019 21:06

Flowers heck op you have been ill and as a result are in a bit of a mess.
I would contact the mail order company and . Go to cab .
Keep a record of any texts or anything between you. If hèr husband threatens or anything go to the police.
Have you any family or close friend who can help you sort this out?
Good wishes.

Celestine70 · 29/09/2019 21:13

You should have both kept a record of what You bought and what you paid. She must have statements you can work out what you bought from. However, it will be hard to work out how much you owe if all items are in her name as everyone's interest will be lumped together. You might be better contacting the catalogue when you know what you have bought and paid and they can work out how much you owe.

pepsirolla · 29/09/2019 21:21

The debt is in the friends name only so only she can be legally pursued for it

OP cannot be chased for debt unless she signed a written agreement with the friend to pay it. That has to clearly state amount owed and times to pay back.

If there is nothing in writing then OP does not have to pay anything at all.

She can make good will offer to help friend if she wants but without paperwork legally the friend cannot insist and courts would throw it out.
I worked in finance and I've seen many debts like this.

Onus is on friend to prove in writing.

To quote my Dad a verbal agreement is not worth the paper it is written on.

If threats continue contact police Flowers

Sooverthemill · 29/09/2019 21:24

@PencilsInSpace the reason the tangled up debts are relevant is because it may make it very tricky to untangle enough to see who owes what and which bit of interest belongs to which debt

Aridane · 29/09/2019 21:29

IMO, you should go to the police or citizen advice to know what to do

Probably better the out of pocket 'friend' does that - she's the victim not the reckless devil may care doesn't know how much she spends OP!

Shhimtryingtosleep · 29/09/2019 21:30

I'm guessing she hasn't been using the money you have provided to pay off specifically your items and just chucked it on the account (if at all). So has now lumped herself with interest that wouldn't be there if she'd kept track.
It's very easy to log on and look at previous statements that will show what items are paid off when. If she won't provide this then she can't expect you to pay. It literally takes maybe 10 minutes tops.

Aridane · 29/09/2019 21:32

@Lulualla has it spot on with her post of Sun 29-Sep-19 12:13:57

Aridane · 29/09/2019 21:37

I just don’t get this.

There is only one person who is genuinely vulnerable in this scenario. The “friend”. The account is in her name. She is liable. She’s relying on the OP to repay her.

At any point could just say “I’m done paying”.

Very don’t get a toss about the OP. There interest is only in the friend and what she owes them.

Agree with lovemenorca above

Be1atrix · 29/09/2019 21:47

OP, I know it's hard but you need to be assertive here.

PencilsInSpace · 29/09/2019 22:04

@PencilsInSpace the reason the tangled up debts are relevant is because it may make it very tricky to untangle enough to see who owes what and which bit of interest belongs to which debt

This is not OP's problem.

Her agreement is with the 'friend' not the catalogue. 'Friend' can give her details of what goods she ordered and what the interest arrangements were on those goods at the time of purchase. It's in 'friend's interests to do this if she wants OP to pay her because there's no way for her to pursue any outstanding debt further unless she provides this info.

Heyitsanewname · 29/09/2019 22:04

You know what? This first order being placed in Oct 2018 is PERFECT timing to ask for a statement, citing that you don’t want to incur interest and would like to get it paid off before the interest kicks in.

Sorry if it’s been mentioned but after about page 4 I only read for the OP’s updates

Original poster
Abcdefgfedcba · 29/09/2019 22:15

I have no response so far to my email. Although I expected this. I will probably hear nothing until next payday where she will just expect a payment.

I'm going to stand my ground until she either sends me a statement or gives me details of anything I have not yet paid for.

I'm so grateful for everyone's help.

This has definitely made me learn not to get myself into this sort of mess again.

I've actually been working really hard over the last few months on my credit rating and trying to get a little savings each month. Along with not buying items I don't need and things I think I do need I now sit on and think about it before deciding whether to actually go out and buy it.

OP posts:
PencilsInSpace · 29/09/2019 22:20

Can you share what you said in your email?

howdoweknow · 29/09/2019 22:25

Honestly if I was you OP I wouldn't send her another penny until you have seen a statement. At the minute she has you where she wants you. Sending her money and not questioning it. You have stated several times you are happy to pay for you items so what is her problem in helping you track your orders.

Also if I was you I would be writing down every text, every intimidating thing her husband did. If it helps block their numbers and only communicate via email. I feel that she has preyed on you slightly and while you keep sending her money she is happy to keep taking it.

Simcat · 29/09/2019 22:25

@Abcdefgfedcba have you tried contacting very to ask them if you could have a list of deliveries to your address. If you have her name and account details I’m sure you could get this as you just want them to list he items and price to your address and any interest. It might also make her aware that you’re not standing for any rubbish.
Give it ago or tell her you will call them to check as you’ve been asking for a list. She might not want you to do that. Good luck

BlackCatSleeping · 29/09/2019 22:26

OP, you might have tried this already, but have you tried logging onto her email address using her old password? You might be able to get in. Then, you can search for your orders under your address. It’s a bit shitty but at least you’d know for sure then what is going on.

BlackCatSleeping · 29/09/2019 22:27

I also suspect she has gotten herself into a huge mess with all this and has lied to her husband about the whole situation.

Lougle · 29/09/2019 22:29

Don't do that!! Right now you've been foolish but haven't done anything wrong. Hacking her emails is definitely wrong, plus you'd never be able to use them if you needed to because you'd have to admit how you got them.

RitaMills · 29/09/2019 22:53

Gosh OP, what a mess!

A lot of people have given great advice, I hope you find strength in that and please stick to your guns in regards to wanting to see statements.

Don’t panic just yet about the interest, if what you bought has been bought at different times over a few months then the interest free times will be staggered so hopefully you won’t be hammered in interest to the sum of £2000.

I hope you get it sorted and soon!

Iminagony · 29/09/2019 22:57

Agree with sending a pp letter template with as much detail as you can remember regarding purchases, dates, payments made and dates.
And a clear no further payments will be made without proof as you believe the debt has been paid in full, with credit.

If she has not made the payments to very with the payments you made to her, any interest is her responsibility not yours.

State that if she disagrees with this then please provide the evidence as you have requested multiple times already.

Keep all further correspondence, texts, emails etc.

If her dh approaches you and intimidates you, don't be afraid to call 101 and report it as the harassment it is.

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