To be wary of making any further payments?

[Abcdefgfedcba]

I've been very stupid by not keeping a log of everything and am now in a real pickle.

A friend allowed me to purchase items on a catalogue in her name. This was various items over 12 months. I was not the only person, which means the payments made monthly onto the catalogue were for various peoples orders.

I stupidly didn't keep a record of what was bought and what was paid back.

I've asked a few times now for her to send me information of the total cost, along with payments made towards that. She keeps saying she will do this, but never does.

She's not messaging me up to 10 times a day saying I need to pay at least 100 per month because I owe her over 2k.

Looking at my bank statements I have already paid back over 1k.

I ordered clothing, kids Xmas presents last year, a smart watch, laptop.

Am I Being a terrible person to not want to keep putting money into her bank without seeing proof of how much I owe at least?

I'm worried that I'll end up paying money back indefinitely even after clearing the balance.

I'm grateful that I had the opportunity to buy things on the catalogue, but I just want a statement or something to show where I'm up to.

I now feel harassed and stressed by the constant texts. Should I just put more money into her bank?

Okay so I said friend but she's more of an acquaintance I was seeing most days
THAT should have set your alarm bells ringinf when she offered to put things on her account - and especially when she gave you her log in details.

Also, it's not her I will bump into regularly... Its her husband. Who has already caused issues with someone else connected to my children in a very negative way
So he's a bully.

The current arrangement ended because her husband was doing things that was a bit.. Weird for a childcare provider. It was causing issues
So he's more than just a bully - doesn't surprise me.

I think you were targeted because you ARE a vulnerable person - single parent, kids, no family/support system and financially insecure.
These kind of people make a living out of scamming people - and you won't be left off the hook after you've paid back what you think you owe her.
She's choosing not to show you the statements for your orders because then it be obvious what you've paid and what's owed.

YOU NEED to speak to the police about this.
THEY can force her to show statements and also protect you and your dc from her bully of a husband.

This isn't going to stop once you've 'paid her back' because, without the statements as proof, she will claim that you still owe her.

Stop the constant messaging. Make a date to get together.

She needs to bring all statements relating to items bought and all amounts paid, then you need to set up a standing order to pay monthly for the remaining amount. If you do this via your bank and your payments to her will automatically stop once you've paid off the requisite amount.

This way, you know exactly how much to pay without running the risk of overpayments and she will feel happy that she is definitely getting paid on a regular basis.

I'm wondering if she has been spending the money you've been paying her on other things and now she's struggling to pay the catalogue off? It's the only reason I can think of as to why she won't provide proof of what's paid.

Looking at the statements will give you some idea of what the interest is because you should not be paying all the interest if you've both been buying from the catalogue. It should be split fairly.

Tell her to take you to small claims

How would that work? Friend/childminder says OP owes her money, OP can’t prove what she ordered or how much she had paid back, and the whole thing was some sort of weird credit fraud, so on what basis would the OP be able to claim against her friend?

Don't overestimate how much you think you owe. I bet she'll come back and say it is more whatever value you set. If you think you've paid off what 🧒 owe make sure she gives you access to the account back before paying another penny.

You’ve clearly paid back more than you spent.

And here's the problem: she clearly hasn't . OP has said she thinks she's bought about £2000 of goods, but going through her bank statements has paid £1270.

Looking at the later list OP provided it came to £1330 of goods but she admits it may be incomplete.

So even in the best case scenario that she only had £1330 of stuff and that it's all still in the interest free period she still owes £60.

In the worst case scenario she's had £2000 of goods and interest is owed on the lot, Very charge 39.9% APR, that's £800 of interest in the first year and escalating thereafter. So in the worst case scenario her £100 a month payments are largely going on the interest. By my calculations in that scenario OP still owes over £700 on the price of the goods and £800 for the first year's interest, hence why her 'friend' is saying she still owes £2k.

Of course all these calculations hinge on how much stuff she bought and whether it's still interest free. No one on this site will be able to work it out so OP really needs to get to the CAB.

Op, don't be so hard on yourself. It sounds as tho she did target you. And if not, amx she did it in good faith, she sounds like she has been pretty daft. There's some good advice here. I have total faith that you just want to pay back what you owe. If she is a child minder her registration will be dependent on the people who live in the house so I assume her registration would be taken away if her husband was found to be intimidating people. So any trouble, threaten to go to the police. She has a lot more to lose than you.

It is bizarre the the shop didn't expect payment upfront. Whenever I have bought things online, it comes off my card straight away. If I were you, I would only buy things by cash or switch. I would not buy things on credit.

I also find it bizarre that your friend let you order it in her name. You should have ordered it in your own name.

I would ask for her to get a detailed statement from the company showing how much you owed. Also copy your bank statement to indicate how much you have paid.

Just read some messages- I see she targeted you.

It is bizarre the the shop didn't expect payment upfront. Whenever I have bought things online, it comes off my card straight away.

You’ve never heard of catalogue credit? It’s been around for aeons.

The OP is very clear that this was a catalogue credit account, and that she was unable to get a credit account in her own name.

I guess I'm scared I haven't fully paid off the balance and the consequences of that.

But I'm struggling to prove any of it either way.

I don't want to just pay indefinetley without knowing if I even still owe anything.

I also hate confrontation and don't want to be shouted at in a playground full of children, in front of my own children, or have her husband turning to to my house.

I feel stressed enough from the daily text messages. She knows when I get my wage so the messages start around a day before and are constant until I transfer the money. If its not sent first thing on payday I then receive texts hourly asking me to transfer it.

The police can't do anything at this point. OP needs to send a clear communication that she believed the debt is paid / £60 owing / she's owed £200 / whatever amounts she finally gets to after reviewing everything tonight. Several things could then happen:

1. "Friend" agrees, payment agreed, all fine
2. "Friend" reminds her of other purchases and they agree a new balance
3. "Friend" makes up a load of shit or doesn't engage; OP to state she has bang adding multiple times for detail and unless that is provided by X date she will consider the debt to be cleared.
4. Threats from "friend" or the husband; call 101 (unless in urgent danger, in which case call 999).

She sends these texts as intimidation. She's not a friend or aquaintance, she is an illegal loan shark preying on the vulnerable.
Go to the police. She has made threats via her bully husband and is affectively demanding money via intimidation.
You need to stop this now. People like that will never go away.

@Abcdefgfedcba - it's hard when they're mashing you nervous, but your only task right now to is work out with loads of detail what you actually think you owe and communicate that. From now yippy want everything about the debt and payments to be only in writing and you need to save it. If the husband turns up at your door, or if they start abusing you, then it's time to report it to the police.

Can't you just ring and text until she answers and then tell her you think you've paid more off than you owe, but if she disagrees you're happy to meet and look through the statements to figure out the balance. Just be more persistent with her instead of waiting untill this time next month again. What are the spreadsheet going to do. Just tell her you've paid that puts it on her. Then she has to tell you the balance.

this explains what your friend could do in terms of getting the money back from you. Read it. It shows clearly that they need evidence of what is owed in order to take you to small claims.

Sorry for the typos!

Lulualla I know there is no agency, but the person who did the order to Very should have receipts or statements for the money she has paid to Very. Without these there is no proof that she has paid the money to Very, for all the lady who is posting knows she could have paid for her goods months ago, that would mean that the lady whose Very account it is could be fraudulently taking payments or not paying the money against the account. That is why the poster needs advice.

Go onto the catalogues site and look up the prices (which may be slightly less by now) and see what interest they charge over 12 months. Then you can work out what is left to pay including interest.
You can then either contact her with all the data you have collected and if she's not in agreement with you then contact the company directly.

Posted too soon. I don't think she can. I suspect she hasn't paid across the money you have given her so far ( or not all of it) and has a demand from Very and is panicking

On the surface of it, this person sounds dodgy as hell.

But on the other, the only thing I can't understand is the refusal to provide proof.

Because I've real the whole thread and as a PP said a few posts up, it's really easy to see how you could owe 2k. You're clearly not on the call at all with finances and everyone underestimates when spending blindly like this. So that combined with the interest could easily be a further 2k.

You say she hounds you because she knows when you get paid and it's intimidating. But if you owe her money and know she needs to make repayments, why isn't a direct debit set up?

I wonder if she let you use her account because she assumed you knew how credit works. And expected you to clear the balance before interest was added, keep records of all payments and generally be on top of it.

You've both been incredibly foolish. But I can imagine a totally different take on this thread if posted by the other woman.

The onus is on the creditor (your friend) to show that you owe her money and how much.

You shouldn't be farting about trying to guestimate what you bought on what dates and when the interest kicks in on what items. Your friend has all that info on her account (assuming the account has not been closed and passed to a debt collector, but even in this case she should be able to contact the catalogue and get the info).

It's irrelevant to you whether she paid the money to the catalogue or spaffed it - your (verbal) agreement is with her. Similarly, it's irrelevant what other people may have bought or how the interest on their items may have become entangled with yours on her account.

Your agreement is with her, not the catalogue.

Dear [friend]

In order for me to settle what I owe, please provide me with full details of all items I have purchased, on what dates, how much each cost and what the interest arrangements were on those items at the time of purchase.

I will not be making any further payments until these details are provided.

Kind regards

Do this in writing - email or letter - and stick to it. If she doesn't provide the details then don't pay. She won't be able to take further action without providing the details.

If she or her husband threaten you in any way then call the police.

If the items came directly to your house then it is easy to prove exactly what you have ordered and how much you owe.

Stop paying until she provides you with statements, she has all the information. If you are harassed go to the police.

She's sounding more and more like a loan shark. Friends don't treat you like that.

www.stoploansharks.co.uk/we-can-help/

I would get her to ask the catalogue for a statement, work out what you bought, what you've paid her and what interest shes paid.

Sort it out and both cut ties with each other.

@Abcdefgfedcba Personally, and I'll prob get destroyed for saying this, but I'd call the catalogue company pretending to be her and try find out for myself...... If I knew her details of course