Normal staffroom comment or out of order?

[PrincessHoneysuckle]

I work in a school and one of the t.a made a comment today which I thought was nasty and unnecessary tbh.She called a 10 year old girl ugly,we had been discussing the girl as she has had problems lately and she came out with that gem.Aibu to think this is not something an adult should be saying about anyone never mind a child.Am I pearl clutching or do you agree?

Oh god no, this is out of order and nothing I’ve ever heard in the staffroom. I’ve heard many a comment but never anything as awful as that. Not pearl clutching at all.

not pearl clutching. That's really nasty.

It depends where the comment was made. Staff room or somewhere there are no kids, not really an issue to me. In front of kids, totally out of order.

Before you get really annoyed, has the TA had a bad day? I let rip this morning in our staffroom because my newly issued laptop threw yet another hissy fit. I couldn't print anything from it. Lots of colleagues did not read notices in their registers (the only way we are meant to pass on messages). I think the odd expletive in an adults-only zone is a non-issue.

Let it go. Don’t be so serious.

No, I think it’s wrong, very wrong.

Gosh that's not pleasant, to put it mildly.

Clutching at straws, did she mean the child's behaviour was ugly?

Obviously context is everything but it seems wrong. I have heard though conversations where teachers have discussed lack of personal hygiene of kids, also those who have matted hair etc but in context to possible neglect (younger kids) or mental health (secondary aged)

It's not nice but it happens.

No-one should call anyone ugly but again, that happens too.

I frequently blow off steam and vent and rant in the staffroom as do my colleagues, there are no children around and it’s a ‘safe space’ for us to not have to censor our language. My god I’ve sworn viciously about children during disastrous lessons etc as have others but nothing directly about their appearance.
I do think making such a personal comment based on what a child looks like is unnecessary and actually very bloody nasty.

It's about a child, not someone have rage at the IT. It's inappropriate and she should be reminded of that. If it was another child, they would be called a bully.

Unless it was about 'ugly' behaviour or attitude then they WBU.

She said it calmly,she wasnt involved with our conversation she just said it matter of factly.Im not generally a serious person I just thought it was nasty that's all.

It was said in reference to looks I'm 100% sure of that

@CakeNinja exactly my point, we all let steam off but personal comments are wrong imo

I've worked in 5 schools; staff rooms are absolutely vile places. I've honestly never been in a nice one. Yes there are some nice people, but as a collective, teachers are hierarchical, to the point of 'my degree is better than your degree' or ' my university was Russell yours was red brick' and so forth. It is worse than the play ground.

One of the comments that stuck with me was one of the DT teachers has a group of challenging pupils with a range of EBD issues and yes some of them had some LDs as well. This particular school had pride in flower beds and pots. He quipped "I've brought the vegetables out to plant the veg". Horrible man. Ghastly.

@ThinkerThinkk omg that's bad

I take it she wasn't sympathetic about the 10yos problems either, if she was just casually calling her ugly. What a lovely TA.

No not sympathetic

When I was a student volunteering in a primary school, I was given the following advice (not by the school): anything you hear in the staff room IS confidential and should not be discussed with anyone, not even a fellow student volunteer.

Not very nice but it’s not like she made a racist comment about another child. Guess she was probably venting. I’d let it go.

Guessing from the age of the child, this was a primary school staff room. Secondary staff rooms are much less earnest and far more irreverent places where children are discussed and there is sometimes even bad language 😉. Seriously, that is unkind and unnecessary - and it's not as if the child can help his/her appearance. But the staff room door is sacrosanct- behind it teachers are PEOPLE,and that may sometimes mean unprofessional behaviours.

@ExecutiveFiat she venting though it was a comment about her appearance and said in a normal tone

I work in a special school and believe me we have some horrendous behaviour from the kids but we never ever speak badly about them. We may talk about personal issues, hygiene, funny things etc but never personal appearance or personality.

Entirely wrong, and if one of my TAs had come out with that I would have been very angry.

I once had an unqualified teacher cover my class of severely learning disabled children. When I returned, she commented snidely on what an 'ugly looking bunch of kids' I had. I was appalled.

It turned out to say a lot about her. She was later permanently suspended for a serious incident regarding a child.

Did you challenge her on what she said op?