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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find the unmummsy mum really dreadful

252 replies

Katex888 · 25/09/2019 23:21

I know she has a lot of fans, and some parts of her first book were funny. Although the second book was dire, why would she need to tell everyone when she has sex with her husband as if it’s once in a year event.

I find her really cringe worthy and I don’t understand the hype. She thinks she’s really funny when she’s not, she’s not unmummsy, she seems like a great mum with her kids but makes out she is rubbish all the time. Why?

I don’t understand how everyone think she’s the funniest thing ever.

OP posts:
Crinescene · 26/09/2019 08:48

Confess I haven’t read unmumsy but I get the gist of benign neglect. It sounds like benign neglect not brushing kids hair and not having the right clothes for school theme days ,as long as kids are clean and well cared for it’s fine

Neglect is characterized by other issues: nowhere to store clothes as no room for a wardrobe so they end up crumpled that’s if they have even been washed let alone the kids. No sheets on beds as can’t be bothered to change them/don’t have spare sheets.

No carpets just bare floor boards not varnished floor boards. No books, no board games but no Telly or consoles either as the electricity supply has been cut off for non payment means no hot food so no nutrition and then up next day going to school unwashed, in dirty clothes, unkempt hair and an empty belly is the reality for a lot of kids who are neglected not having unbrushed hair per se or that mummy forgot to make you a costume for World Book Day

Ponzischeme · 26/09/2019 08:48

At least be honest with yourself. You were being very mean spirited.

Exactly that. I mean why bother pretending you were starting a thread to "critique" someone's books when you actually started it to have a good bitching session and hoped everyone would pile in with you? Just admit what you were doing.

SpadesOfGlory · 26/09/2019 08:53

YABU
Her first book said all the things I was scared to say when I had my first DC. I laughed so much I cried at some parts! No one makes you read the books or follow her, but it was a breath of fresh air for me!

JellyfishAndShells · 26/09/2019 08:56

When my children were young, it was print media that carried this sort of stuff - usually female journalists who had got columns after having children and were either freelancing and/or working part time ( because they were working from home but also turning up to interview people, with hilarious tales of sticky rusks in their handbags and misbuttoned clothes)

Because they were professional writers to begin with, their columns were well written and witty and I enjoyed them until they began to grate and I found myself rolling my eyes at the ‘it’s so hard to organise daily life with my nanny, aupair, cleaner, present but domestically useless DH , in our rather nice large house in a rather nice part of West London’ trope.

They all got books out if it, the fashion fizzled out and we had endless post Bridget Jones ‘my life as a hopeless singleton dating useless men but looking for Mr Darcy ‘ columns.

Then social media came and the amateur versions of the same stuff started again.

eeksville · 26/09/2019 08:58

Personally I think people are more defensive of influencers as some followers/fans see them as friends & then there is the whole MLM aspect because social media relies on engagement & many aspire to be successful in that manner so don't want to criticise it

SoyDora · 26/09/2019 09:01

I actually think she’s one of the more relatable ‘instamums’. She’s not all ‘my kids are shits, I need to mainline gin’ at all. Just honest about the struggles she’s faced. She’s also very vocal about help for PND etc.

We all get through it without becoming semi alcoholics

You might have done. ‘We all’ don’t. Some people really struggle.

Ponzischeme · 26/09/2019 09:01

I actually don't even follow her on Instagram, I just liked her books.

Yabbers · 26/09/2019 09:05

That's never been MN's purpose.

Unless you happen to be called Meghan.

NerrSnerr · 26/09/2019 09:06

What sort of woman find this trite, cliched rubbish funny? There is a lot of good comedy out there. This isn’t it folks.

Clearly lots of people do enjoy her books and/ or find her funny. Just because you have a different sense of humour doesn't make it a better sense of humour.

When I had my first child I turned my nose up at the 'slummy mummy' nonsense and thought it wasn't for me. I was massively sleep deprived, had suffered from a bereavement and had limited local support. Someone bought me her first book and it was hugely comforting, mainly that it's ok not to feel like things are brilliant all of the time and I have been a fan ever since.

Not everyone likes the same things but I hate the whole 'I only like these certain things and that makes me superior'. Life would be shit if we all liked the same things.

NerrSnerr · 26/09/2019 09:11

One thing I don't understand is why is it ok to criticise celebrities but one must be supportive of influencers?

Not all of us are dicks who slate celebs (or anyone) on the internet.

hsegfiugseskufh · 26/09/2019 09:15

well this is a nice thread.

Lolwhat · 26/09/2019 09:17

Ruth? Is that you

NerrSnerr · 26/09/2019 09:17

@Passthecherrycoke
I don't think I have ever seen where the Unmumsy mum has said how awful it is having children. Do you have a link?

SoyDora · 26/09/2019 09:18

One thing I don't understand is why is it ok to criticise celebrities but one must be supportive of influencers?

Confused how do you know that the exact same people slating celebrities are the ones supporting influencers? Have you gone through people’s posting histories? Surely it’s more likely than the ones not slating influencers are also the ones not slating celebrities, in general?!
I try not to slate people I don’t know. Unless they do something illegal, or completely immoral, or are racist, for example.

eeksville · 26/09/2019 09:24

how do you know that the exact same people slating celebrities are the ones supporting influencers? Have you gone through people’s posting histories? Surely it’s more likely than the ones not slating influencers are also the ones not slating celebrities, in general?!

I was talking generally & not only referring to MN although having said that I don't think i've ever seen someone post on a Katie Hopkins thread that she is just a mum doing her best or similar.

SoyDora · 26/09/2019 09:26

Well I’ve never posted on a Katie Hopkins thread because I have nothing nice to say about her, and in general I try not to slate people online.
Having said that, she falls under the ‘immoral’ and ‘racist’ banner for me.

hsegfiugseskufh · 26/09/2019 09:28

jellyfish I think the unmumsy mum was a writer for a magazine before she wrote her own books.

eeksville · 26/09/2019 09:28

I try not to slate people I don’t know. Unless they do something illegal, or completely immoral, or are racist, for example.

I said criticise not slate which are different imo. i have defo criticised the behaviour of someone I don't know on many AIBu threads, particularly those involving MILs!

Instatwat · 26/09/2019 09:29

I don't think I have ever seen where the Unmumsy mum has said how awful it is having children. Do you have a link?

You’re right - there isn’t one. She has categorically clarified on several occasions how much she loves her boys and being a mum, but that’s it’s ok not to find every second of parenting like heaven on earth. That’s why she’s relatable to so many. Saying she hates parenting is an inaccurate, lazy way of slagging her off for people who just don’t like her.

Gracie300 · 26/09/2019 09:29

What is MLM?

chesterdraws1 · 26/09/2019 09:30

Knee Deep in Life is just a complete rip off of Celene Barber

IrmaFayLear · 26/09/2019 09:31

I'm not a fan of any "look at my life" vloggers/bloggers/columnists etc etc. It's all a bit old hat to talk about how you fake home-made cakes for the school fair and how you put your dcs to bed in their school uniform to save on time in the morning.

Actually, what is the very worst , is the Dad Movement. Columns/vlogs/blogs about not noticing kids falling off climbing frames and awkward moments with teens - it's all so Outnumbered and very tiresome.

hsegfiugseskufh · 26/09/2019 09:32

I suspect a lot of you would probably be a lot more at home on Tattle. Its ok to be mean, judgemental and slag people off for no good reason on there so I am told.

eeksville · 26/09/2019 09:36

Having said that, she falls under the ‘immoral’ and ‘racist’ banner

Morality can be subjective though. I agree with you about KH l. I also consider it immoral that Kim Kardashian has accepted money to post about anti morning sickness medication. Or when influencers expose so much of their children for monetary gain or when reality stars promote weight loss tea. I work in education & have been to forums & training with teens & socially media can be so damaging, lots of young people don't realise it's a marketing platform. I'm so glad I was born in the 80s

NerrSnerr · 26/09/2019 09:37

It's all a bit old hat to talk about how you fake home-made cakes for the school fair and how you put your dcs to bed in their school uniform to save on time in the morning.

Once again this doesn't relate to the Unmumsy mum at all. It's really fair enough if it's not your cup of tea but why slag something off when you clearly have no clue what their content is?

Many people on this thread seem to be slating her because of what they think her blog/ books are about and have clearly never read anything she has written.