My friend called me ignorant, was I being unreasonable?

[hereforafuntime123]

I met my friend with the kids at soft play today for some lunch. She is my closest friend and has been for about 4/5 years, we see each other almost everyday and if we don't see each other, we at least speak on the phone daily. She's like a sister to me.

Anyways today she was telling me a story, it seemed as if the story was finished and my phone rang, it was my sister so I picked up the phone. I noticed my friend rolled her eyes at this. I literally had a two minute conversation with my sister about money she had transferred to me.

When I got off the phone, I asked my friend a question and she just continued to look away from me and not respond. Then the conversation went like this:

Me: are you just ignoring me? Haha

Friend: well you just picked up your phone when I was in the middle of speaking.

Me: I thought you were done with the story.

Friend: I wasn't and you just picked up the phone without even acknowledging it, was a bit ignorant to be honest.

Me: I'm really sorry, I honestly thought you were finished.

Friend: it's fine.

That was it dropped and the rest of the afternoon went as normal, no atmosphere or anything.

But now I've had time to think, I think my friend was a bit out of order calling me ignorant over a genuine misunderstanding. Anyone else?

I just think it was also a bit rude and immature of her to then ignore me completely when I got off the phone

When someone does something like that to me (eg. answering their phone without even acknowledging what I was saying) I wonder why I bother to talk as they obviously weren't interested.

Checking phones is really rude. You could have at least said, sorry I really need to take this. Then she would have been more understanding. Ignorant was the wrong word to use though.

I think you were rude, and the fact that you didn't even realise how rude you were being makes you unaware and ignorant too.

Her reaction makes me wonder if this is something you do regularly?

Next time you're with her, leave your phone in your bag.

To me phone only answered in company if it’s a child school or practical issue like a delivery and would say “sorry have to take this it’s ....” anything else I would find rude yed

I used to have a friend who, whenever we were out, was always only half paying attention, making the right noises etc but always texting, on Facebook, answering calls which generally made me feel crappy and sitting there like a spare part. Added to this, she took days to reply to my texts!!
One of the reasons she is past tense.
Urgent stuff, no problem but random Facebook, texts and on her phone to others just made me feel like second best.

well yeah OP was ignorant in both ways noted by the dictionary.
Point 1: She's now educated and knowledgeable in knowing that before you answer the phone/text whilst you're having conversation with someone you should always excuse yourself.
Point 2: she was damn right rude.

Haha sounds like me and my sister. Me being the one in the middle of the story and calling her ignorant for getting her phone out halfway through. Glad to hear other people take the same opinion as me and I'm not being unreasonable 😂

It was a bit rude, sounds like she's over it. No biggie

Well I do think it's rude anytime you're in someone else's company to abruptly answer a phone call without some indication first "Sorry I need to take this call or do you mind if I just take this" sort of phrase but that's just my personal pet peeve.

I also have a pet peeve about people misusing the term "ignorant" more and more these days! A couple of times now I've heard someone use the word ignorant when it wasn't the right term in the situation. What's up with that? Are people afraid to say directly that they think someone just did something rude so instead they use the word ignorant to suggest the person doesn't know better or something? It's a patronising word to sue and makes me think the speaker has a poor vocabulary.

She didn't call you ignorant, she called your actions a bit ignorant. Your actions, not you.

To be fair she was right.

Define “company”? Sitting with my husband watching TV?

Out with a group of friends all having different conversations, none of which I’m involved in?

With a group of colleagues chatting at work?

In the second and third situations it's rude to take a call in the midst of them. You say - "sorry, just need to take this" and remove yourself
while you converse with the caller.

@Rainbunny read the thread. The dictionary definitions have been cut and pasted and referred to several times. They all have ignorant = rude as the second definition of ignorant.

I must be an old fuddy duddy as I can't believe the amount of people who answer their phones at once, sometimes in the queue at a supermarket. Check who's calling of course but surely a message could be left. And people who still have their phones glued to their ears while packing their goods.

@hereforafuntime123

I just think it was also a bit rude and immature of her to then ignore me completely when I got off the phone.

Don’t be ridiculous. You haven’t got a leg to stand on. You were rude and ignorant. I hope you have learnt what proper behaviour entails.

You were rude

I mean .... Really I would just let it go since you both moved on.

You were rude but not super rude considering she's a super close friend. I have a friend I'm with loads so with her I do just answer my phone because we spend loads of time together. But with other friends that I don't see as often I would say a quick sorry or if it was someone I hadn't seen for a while and it wasn't like my DS or DCs school or something that looked absolutely urgent I would mute it and call back later.

I do think if you answer your phone in company you have to say "Gosh, sorry, I just need to get this" and then keep it short and businesslike. But excusing yourself for answering it before you swipe up is essential.

I wouldn't care at all if my friend answered the phone, we just pick up where we left off. No big deal. It would surprise me if they called me ignorant.
Honestly some people need some real drama in their lives if they think this is rude. 🤣

Ok you are close enough friends, otherwise your bestie wouldn't of called you out on what she considered ignorant behaviour. Don't make mountains out of mole tumps and value a good friend for what she is, honest.

Wow OP not even gracious in defeat

Yes, you were being ignorant

My best friend does this and it so rude

And posters are being ignorant if they don't know that 'ignorant' also carries the meaning of discourteous or rude.

Would you have just stand up and left the table to speak with someone else? I am always astonished that some people find it acceptable to forget any manner and reply to their phone when they are in the middle of a conversation!

By all means, if it's a work call, your childcare, or you are waiting for something, but if you are already have a chat with someone, what makes it acceptable to show them you just have someone more interesting to talk to instead?

of course, rude, but that's obvious by now.

You were definitely rude. Just like a lot of society today every phone call is so important.

3 things here.

1. sounds like you weren’t listening if assumption was story had finished
2. if I was talking and phone went, I’d prob just say “it’s my sister, I need to answer” anyway just to check.
3. maybe she thinks ppl don’t listen to her and that’s why she reacted. I’ve had similar outbursts after bad day or with specific ppl I feel are not present in conversations