My friend called me ignorant, was I being unreasonable?

[hereforafuntime123]

I met my friend with the kids at soft play today for some lunch. She is my closest friend and has been for about 4/5 years, we see each other almost everyday and if we don't see each other, we at least speak on the phone daily. She's like a sister to me.

Anyways today she was telling me a story, it seemed as if the story was finished and my phone rang, it was my sister so I picked up the phone. I noticed my friend rolled her eyes at this. I literally had a two minute conversation with my sister about money she had transferred to me.

When I got off the phone, I asked my friend a question and she just continued to look away from me and not respond. Then the conversation went like this:

Me: are you just ignoring me? Haha

Friend: well you just picked up your phone when I was in the middle of speaking.

Me: I thought you were done with the story.

Friend: I wasn't and you just picked up the phone without even acknowledging it, was a bit ignorant to be honest.

Me: I'm really sorry, I honestly thought you were finished.

Friend: it's fine.

That was it dropped and the rest of the afternoon went as normal, no atmosphere or anything.

But now I've had time to think, I think my friend was a bit out of order calling me ignorant over a genuine misunderstanding. Anyone else?

You're not asking for permission, it's just basic manners.

"Excuse me, it's my sister so I'll just quickly answer it"

Ignorant means uneducated, so no. You weren't ignorant.

It also means lacking in awareness, which OP was.

Do you regularly answer your phone when having a chat or conversation with your friend ? I have a friend who constantly does this and it’s very annoying, sends a signal really that the caller is more important.

Ignorant means uneducated

The irony!

Yabu - you were rude and ignorant. Ignorant was used correctly, see dictionary definition above. If important you should have said excuse me I need to take this. Whilst out with a friend was it necessary to have a conversation with your sister about money? Couldn't it have waited?

Ignorant means rude in some places. My Northern Irish friends use it that way.

But it sounds to me like you apologised and moved on, so I wouldn’t worry.

Well if your friendship is so close you are like sisters, maybe it is why she rolled her eyes and felt able to react like that.
It was a little ignorant to answer your phone without even an apology first, she was also rude in her reaction.
This would be totally normal with my sisters we pull each other up on the spot for bad behaviour but not with a friend.

Does she know what ignorant means? This, along with people using the word mortified to mean appalled boils my tits.

Well you answered because you assumed she'd finished.

Traits is it's highly unlikely her story finished at the exact moment your phone rang!

If I'm with people and mine rings I'll check screen and then either ignore and mute or apologise that I need to answer (mum, ds, ds school are really the only ones I'd so this for!)

Talking about 'asking permission' makes you sound very petulant.

How about 'having good manners' i.e. showing consideration towards other people?

I think a lot of people nowadays think 'ignorant' means that you are ignoring someone.

It actually means that you do not have a great deal of knowledge in a particular subject area.

E.g. I am pretty ignorant on the subject of molluscs.

There is something deliciously 'meta' about a person not knowing how to use the word ignorant properly though.

Being close isn't a reason to treat people with less manners/respect.

I hate it when people try to justify poor behaviour because they are close to me. If I am so important treat me as well as or better than a stranger, not worse.

What a fuss about nothing!

You were rude, I love the way you picked up on the one comment saying you weren't though 😂

@20:57DCOkeford in the context of the OP there is nothing to suggest the friend meant ignore, she meant rude. Which can be considered ignorant i.e. lacking knowledge of manners.

Ignorant means rude in some places. My Northern Irish friends use it that way

No, it just means that your NI friends are using the word incorrectly.

There is a kind of argument that it means that a person is unaware of how to properly conduct themselves (and are therefore coming across as rude).

The crucial definition of 'ignorant' is a lack of understanding/knowledge - it really isn't a straightforward synonym for 'rude'

Were you actually listening to the story, My Dsis was always at her phone, she'd drift mid conversation, until we had a massive arguement about her lack of interest, now she definitely makes more of an effort and I really appreciate it.
Ask yourself do you remember the story she told?
Are you regularly on your phone when meeting up?
It seems like she was annoyed it makes me think it is not the first time you show a lack of interest in her words.
As it is a very close friendship I think you need to deep think this one.

You sound like a sulky teenager in your replies. Of course it’s not genuinely about asking permission, even if it’s worded like that. It’s about acknowledging that what you’re doing could be construed as rude, so that your friend doesn’t feel ignored.

You were definitely rude

You were incredibly rude. Both picking up the phone but also not listening to friend and zoning out from her talking and assuming her story had finished

@DCOkeford no people think it also means discourteaous or rude. . Which it does

@LL83 x post

Possibly, but I've heard it being used in the same (incorrect) fashion a few times recently.

When a friend apologised for not getting around to thanking me for a gift for example, she apologised for being ignorant (as in I might have though she was ignoring me).

Obviously I didn't say anything, but it seems to be a common misuse these days.

Agree with PP, it’s not about asking permission, it’s basic manners.

I have been friend with my friends for 14 years now and we still apologise when we take a call or text. Just a quick I'll be a minute or something like that.
Just courtesy.

@AryaStarkWolf

No, that just means that another very specific word in our rich and beautiful language is at risk of becoming merged into another similar, but subtly different one because people are a bit, well, ignorant.

It means that over time, we will have fewer ways to express exactly what we wish to convey, which is a shame.