My DD's first boyfriend is transgender and I feel weird about it.

[Milicentbystander72]

I've always been a very liberal minded person. Supported gay rights all my life. My best friend and DN are gay. I support the rights of Trans people to live their life etc.

My dd15 has a nice group of friends (boys and girls). In that group is a Trans teen (Female to Male). He changed his name in Y8, He's totally accepted as Male at school. There are no issues. He looks completely Male and people who don't know him would never think that he'd been born female. He's a nice boy who is well liked. All good.

Except last night my DD told me she's going out with him. I've surprised myself that this has unnerved me.

My dd hasn't had a BF before. She's only ever snogged one boy before at a party. She says she's 100% straight. She says she fancies the cool older boys in Sixth Form. Has teenage celebrity crushes on boys like Tom Holland etc. So how does this work for her?

Last night I told her all was fine and just to be careful they didn't damage a friendship if they broke up etc, but I didn't make a big deal of it.

Would you find this weird if your dc said they were straight? Please be honest. I'm kind of hoping it fizzles out without any drama.

Obviously if ive got that wrong then I apologise...but I’m a bit confused

I haven’t called anyone a bigot, I do understand the frustration (I’m fairly GC with a dysphoric trans partner, it’s a weird place to be) and I’ve seen the stuff posted by mermaids et al and I voiced to my partner at the time how worried I was about the guidelines and how I didn’t accept most of what happens with supposedly trans children.

I don’t believe very small children can reliably be called trans for instance and totally reject the idea that a 3 year old could be.

Sorry if my stance is confusing, I am somewhere in the middle through necessity.

You would say that though wouldn't you? The true agenda is blatantly obvious though.

Nope, I genuinely think that monthly puberty blockers given to children from 8-9 years that affects their growth, natural puberty, bone density and brain maturity and cognition is a bad thing.

What “true agenda” can you extrapolate from that? You’re very funny.

Sorry just reading now but am out.

meoweth
I know it seems but the tavistock reports kids as young as three showing up.

If they get on to mermaids that's it...journey started.

Nope, I genuinely think that monthly puberty blockers given to children from 8-9 years that affects their growth, natural puberty, bone density and brain maturity and cognition is a bad thing.

The great majority do not receive drugs aged 8 or 9. Regardless, most drugs given to children and adults have side effects which can be quite severe. I bet you aren't campaigning against children receiving treatment for anything else regardless of side effects because that wouldn't fit in with your true agenda.

Right

I’ll take that as an answer to my question...

It never happens

Here we go.

How do you think puberty blockers work if they arent given when puberty hits?

Puberty starts around 9 onwards. It varies from child to child.

By their very definition they are given to children from a very young age .

And 9 12 15 it makes no difference it's still far to young to make the decision to render themselves infertile. because nearly 100 percent of kids on blockers go onto cross sex hormones

You seem to be unable to understand the difference between a child who doesn't conform to stereotypical gender norms (eg a tomboy) and a trans child. They are two very different things.

Some of you are lying. Some of you are just ignorant. It's bizarre. Educated, intelligent women are suddenly swallowing the bullshit published by horribly right-wing outlets like the Daily Mail without ANY critical engagement.

You seem to be unable to understand the difference between a child who doesn't conform to stereotypical gender norms (eg a tomboy) and a trans child. They are two very different things.

Okay, what is the difference between a girl in boy clothes and a transboy?

Regardless, most drugs given to children and adults have side effects which can be quite severe. I bet you aren't campaigning against children receiving treatment for anything else regardless of side effects because that wouldn't fit in with your true agenda.

Which drugs are comparable in their effects to the desired effects of puberty blockers which are to stop the pulsatile natural LH/FSH production from the brain and thus render ovaries (oestrogen) and testes (testosterone) dormant? Which commonly given drugs leave a boy’s testes at 4ml (tanner stage II) for potentially six years before a cross-sex hormone decision is made?

Come on, you need a better argument than that. Clearly people on a “mumsnet” website are going to care about children receiving hormone injections that alter physiological in profound ways.

I’m happy to have my “true agenda” pointed out to me, cos clearly I’m blinded to it, but these are powerful, body altering drugs but definition.

They are two very different things.

According to stonewalls umbrella anyone who doesn't conform to their gender stereotype is trans.

So a tomboy is trans?

Then how does peachgreen expect anyone to be able to tell the difference?

Campaigning against trans people?

No.im.campaigning against children being used and medicated to validate the identities of adults . What grown ups do to themselves us up to them .

I'm sure it's just a massive coincidence that you also campaign against trans people in general.

Is this a provable fact or just common or garden lies?

Anyway, if you are really concerned about children receiving drugs which could have side effects why aren't you campaining against any other medication

Awesome logic. Yes, the fluclox given to treat my child’s infected finger - with associated transient minor side-effects of diarrhoea is exactly the same conceptually as the puberty blocker that stops the brain producing LH/FSH and turns off gonadal hormone production affecting bones, growth and brain development.

Yep, exactly the same. You are very funny.

If left alone 80 percent of children desist.

If medicated nearly all go on to cross sex hormones.

Susie green herself says even if kids are wrongly medicated trans isnt a bad outcome so we shouldnt worry.

So given theres at least 80 percent of children who left alone would desist, and that means that theres 8p percent more children being treated than need be that should worry anyone surely ? Cos 8p percent of the appointments that trans people are waiting so long for are being wasted on kids who arent trans.

Surely it would be beneficial to trans people to have less people on waiting lists for treatment?

I'll tell you the difference. A trans child identifies as trans / as a gender other than the one they were assigned at birth. A tomboy doesn't. It's pretty simple. But you lot don't seem to be able to grasp it.

But a Tom boy is a tomboy because they dont conform to the very stereotypes that the other feels proves their gender identity..

A trans child identifies as trans / as a gender other than the one they were assigned at birth.

Babies aren’t assigned a “gender” at birth. Their sex is observed and recorded.

Anyway, if you are really concerned about children receiving drugs which could have side effects why aren't you campaining against any other medication

The other issue is that other medication is prescribed in good faith to improve a pathological system.

Yet perfectly healthy children with fully functioning hormonal systems are being given drugs that unnaturally affects their growth and leaves them in suspended childhood. Their healthy bodies are made dysfunctional. And even those doesn’t enable them to change sex.

Regardless, most drugs given to children and adults have side effects which can be quite severe. I bet you aren't campaigning against children receiving treatment for anything else regardless of side effects because that wouldn't fit in with your true agenda.

Is your thinking really so simplistic and unevolved?

The majority of medication is prescribed to prevent a greater harm. What greater harm are puberty blockers in 10 year olds onward preventing? Suicide? The statistics have been debunked. A peer-reviewed Scandinavian study indicates that suicide increases after transition by a statistically significant amount...presumably when post-transitioners realise that it was not the magic wand they were hoping for and hasn't solved their problems. Plus it's considered transphobic to suggest being transgender is a mental health issue (and indeed has been removed from the DSM), so why would there be an epidemic of teen suicides in apparently, supposedly, mentally healthy young people?

Which is it? Are these young people so mentally fragile they'll commit suicide if they're denied access to off-label drugs (in which case surely we should be ensuring they have access to in-depth, robust, meaningful psychological support to explore why they feel so uncomfortable in their own bodies, as we do with people presenting with other body dysmorphias such as anorexia)? Or is that that every child who claims to be trans absolutely knows their own mind from as young as three and this is a perfectly healthy state of affairs...in which case why do they need drugs that may leave them sterile and surgery to mutilate their healthy bodies?

We're letting them down somewhere, either psychologically or physically (or both) and now if we flag up these concerns and point out what a harmful position we're putting young people in, we're accuse of having fake concerns? Safeguarding is flying out of the window and that's the best you can come up with? If you genuinely believe that what is being done to young people by the very adults who should have their well-being at heart is acceptable and proportionate, you are utterly, completely batshit and should probably seek some form of psychological help yourself because you've lost your grasp on reality.

But you lot don't seem to be able to grasp it.

It’s hard to grasp the concept of “trans children” because all explanations seem to involve regressive gender stereotypes and you don’t, and have never, given any headspace to that crap, then there doesn’t seem to be much else there.

Certainly not enough to justify monthly puberty blockers leaving them in suspended childhood and ruining their bones for life.