Was I wrong to ask for Costa points?

[Alldaygraze]

I was in the queue in Costa yesterday and the person in front of me ordered a lot of things for about 6 people, it came to around £40. The man serving asked if she had a points card/app and she said no. I couldn’t help myself doing this and have never done this before!!!
I asked “would you mind if I used my Costa card for your transaction as it’s a lot of points?” She looked at me like I’d asked for her firstborn, then looked at the barista open mouthed and then at her purse carrying on paying.

I said “Sorry I shouldn’t have asked I do apologise if I’ve annoyed you” and she just did a weird passive aggressive smile, raised her eyebrows and shook her head. It’s actually really hard to describe what she did without her saying any words but I got the impression she was very taken aback, embarrassed and offended.

She went to her table with her family or whoever they were and I ordered my drink and walked out. No one said anything but on the way out I passed their table and her and (I presume) I DH stared at me with daggers.

Ok help- I feel awful now and not sure if this is just not the done thing but like I said it was spontaneous and I didn’t want those points to go to ‘waste’ if you know what I mean? Prepared to get my arse handed to me!

[Ginmel]

Good on you op. If anyone has a problem it's their problem and not yours. The woman was rude. Sure your question was a bit out of the blue but it's hardly a bank service. You had to standing near her. Don't give it any more thought.

[Alldaygraze]

Thank you @VladmirsPoutine that’s so kind.

Oh yeah @Baguetteaboutit that’s a good point, maybe she was processing the fact that she’d lost out on all those points and was thinking “Oh shit...” 🙈

Haha the cucumber post made me laugh! 🥒

[BiologyIsntBigoted]

It comes across a teeny entitled because people who ask are often shocked when the answer is no. If you're not expecting to be told no, or call someone weird for not handing pints or whatever over then it does sound like the person asking thinks they should have them.

I've offered the person behind me in the queue pints for cards I didn't have, I give parking tickets to people if there's lots of time on them, I've accepted them when offered but if someone approached me as I was going to my car to ask for ticket I'd think them a bit cheeky. Having a total stranger approach you to ask for something like this can throw some people off guard too, this doesn't make them weird.

The other weekend I gave tickets to see It Chapter two away as I'd forgotten to take dds ID with me and we were turned and because I'd paid via PayPal had to contact a telephone number to get my refund but I think had the person behind me been listening in and asked me for the tickets I'd think they're a little bit cheeky.

You're not a bad person and neither is she. On the scale of cheeky fuckery behaviour you'd score very very very very very low. :)

[Ariadnepersephonecloud]

I would have happily given you the points, but some people are weird about things like that. I don't think you did anything wrong by asking though!

[IsobelRae23]

She was being miserable!! I done a £450 shop at Tesco’s once and didn’t have a points card, neither did the person behind me, so I asked the couple at the next check out. They were ever so happy to have them. Random acts of kindness doesn’t take a lot!!

[KimchiLaLa]

Hmm it's a bit weird OP. I get your thinking but it's entirely up to her whether to use them or not. I wouldn't ask for them.

[tryingforminime]

I would not have allowed you to have another customers points. Not only do you get points but also an email to review service/drinks etc.

[spanglydangly]

I'd have gladly given you my points and be glad you asked!

[Baguetteaboutit]

Yeah, maybe she was one of those overly officious types who can't stand people not following the rules op. On the inside she was screaming "But it's not allowed". All those classroom tattletales have to grow into adults eventually.

[Mythreefavouritethings]

Do you know what, when I first read this I thought, ‘Flipping heck that’s a bit forward!’ But why? You’re right, it is a lot of points, and for the person who compared it to asking for a chip, the points weren’t being used! If you’d have asked me, I might have been momentarily surprised but I’d say have ‘em! IABU!! Might as well 🤷‍♀️

[Alldaygraze]

@BiologyIsntBigoted I honestly wasn’t feeling like I was entitled to them, I didn’t expect her to say yes but also didn’t expect her to say nothing and instead pull faces plus glare at me as I left. But as you and a few posters have mentioned, it’s the fact it seems invasive.

Aww @IsobelRae23 that’s really heartwarming 🥰

[imnotinthemood]

It wouldn't of bothered me . I may have jokingly said I'll have the points .
It's a bit odd how she reacted I mean it's not as if you said pay for my coffee .

[Ilovecolinjackson]

I do see it as grabby and very forward but I wouldn't have denied you.

I do Collect points and do use them but I wouldn't ask as I see them as a perk for what I buy and wouldnt see missed ones as a waste, nothing is being wasted. They're a loyalty perk only.

[bobstersmum]

It wouldn't have bothered me, in fact I'm the type to actually offer them to someone.

[Sceptre86]

I think it is grabby and would have probably said no. Who cares if the points gp to waste as they weren't yours in the first place? Most places with loyalty schemes do not encourage cards to be used for by anyone other than the person it belongs to or immediate family.

[HiJenny35]

I always offer the person behind if I've forgotten my card. What a waste

[WhyBirdStop]

They're loyalty points , you get years because you've paid for a lot of their products, you didn't. You were weird and grabby. Would it be ok to buy one coffee and just hang around the till collecting other people's points?

[Notajogger]

I wouldn't ask, but I wouldn't say no to someone who did ask.
Her reaction was silly!

[MaybeDoctor]

Love the idea of some CF ‘point surfing’ by the till!

[OkayGo]

Ah I wouldn’t have asked them myself but I would have given them to you if you’d asked me and I didn’t have a card !

[IncrediblySadToo]

Her response was FAR FAR ruder than your request.

Don’t give the horrible cow another thought 🌷

I’m always looking to give my parking ticket to someone (when no reg required), any ‘collectables’ to kids in supermarkets or points on cards I don’t have. No virtue signalling - it makes ME happy to do it.

Sainsburys had something kids were collecting a little while ago and there were two kids in front of me very excited about the couple they’d get from their mums shopping.. I had a huge trolley full of stuff so I said they could have mine if their mummy didn’t mind waiting. (I did already checked with her!). They’d were SO excited, it made my day 😊

I know that’s different as I offered, but why would you care if someone got ‘your’ PoInts/rewards if you didn’t want to be them?

It’s just so bloody British to be offended by someone merely asking.

@Alldaygraze - ask away, people who are bothered by it aren’t worth worrying about, there are plenty of us who don’t mind !

[onanothertrain]

I wonder if you are exaggerating her response to cover your embarassment