Was I wrong to ask for Costa points?

[Alldaygraze]

I was in the queue in Costa yesterday and the person in front of me ordered a lot of things for about 6 people, it came to around £40. The man serving asked if she had a points card/app and she said no. I couldn’t help myself doing this and have never done this before!!!
I asked “would you mind if I used my Costa card for your transaction as it’s a lot of points?” She looked at me like I’d asked for her firstborn, then looked at the barista open mouthed and then at her purse carrying on paying.

I said “Sorry I shouldn’t have asked I do apologise if I’ve annoyed you” and she just did a weird passive aggressive smile, raised her eyebrows and shook her head. It’s actually really hard to describe what she did without her saying any words but I got the impression she was very taken aback, embarrassed and offended.

She went to her table with her family or whoever they were and I ordered my drink and walked out. No one said anything but on the way out I passed their table and her and (I presume) I DH stared at me with daggers.

Ok help- I feel awful now and not sure if this is just not the done thing but like I said it was spontaneous and I didn’t want those points to go to ‘waste’ if you know what I mean? Prepared to get my arse handed to me!

[timshelthechoice]

I'm the type that would look back and ask the queue if anyone had a Costa reward card. It wasn't rude at all! I also hand money off coupons in Farmfoods if the person in front hasn't got any.

10/10 for virtue signalling!

[BeaLola]

I would have let you use your card but then each to their own - its not like you were rude.

Mind you I had spare 20% off M&S vouchers last year whilst in store that expired that day so tried to give them to the people behind me in the queue but no one would take them - they all gave me strange looks !

[saraclara]

I'd think you were very grabby. I would have said yes, because anything else would make the situation even weirder, but I'd think you were a CF.

On the other hand, I've OFFERED my points to people behind me. So it's not about the points, it's about being offered as opposed to thinking you're entitled to points you haven't earned.

[VladmirsPoutine]

It's against the terms of the card anyway.

There's always one! how very po-faced. Before registration plate registration tech happened my mum, when I was a kid, would always give her parking ticket to someone in the car park. It's small things like this that make society a kinder place.

[Jente]

This would make a great episode of Seinfeld.

[Yaflamingalah]

It wouldn’t have bothered me in the slightest. I think her reaction was really weird. Unfortunately some people are just hostile.

[Livebythecoast]

What a strange reaction! Only this morning I was in Sainsbury's and was asked if I'm collecting the cards. My DD is 15 so no but I offered them to the lady behind me who was very grateful. Even if she asked me I wouldn't mind. I know it's not the same value as £40 of Costa points but I don't understand her reaction, she wasn't using them so they just went to waste. UNLESS she did have a card but not on her and sometimes you can take in your receipt and get them added but she should of said 🤷‍♀️

[Witchinaditch]

I would have have happily given you my points, it wouldn’t bother me at all, but it probably wouldn’t have occurred to me to ask a stranger for theirs. She didn’t need to be so rude though!

[UnravellingThreads]

I'm autistic and have anxiety etc. and even I would have been happy to let you have the points if I didn't have a card! Wouldn't really have impacted her at all...

[HolesinTheSoles]

I wouldn't mind at all, surely this is just the normal thing of people being nice to each other in public. Like people offering each other those disney cards in Sainsbury's or those M&S mini food things.

[Doyoumind]

Vladimir but would she have done it under the nose of a parking attendant? My point was that this was in front of an employee who could have said no. It wouldn't occur to me to do something like that because I would expect the assistant to stop me. I'm all for handing over tickets. You still can in car parks where you don't put in your reg.

[Ferretyone]

It's "possibly" illegal/improper!

There was a case some while back where a supermarket worker used "her" card when a customer did not claim the points[benefit].

Deep in the conditions I'd guess is something that would say "not transferable"

[SouthWestmom]

Oooh I'm going to tell my mums story again.

She needed something worth about £3 to add up her total to get some huge discount. Woman behind her shoves ger flowers at her (mum presumed to save time) , mum pays, woman takes flowers and walks off!

Btw op not grabby but some people are weirdly possessive.

[Shoutouttomyspecs]

I don’t think it’s grabby.
You asked, they should have just said no rather than acting all weird about it . Don’t dwell on it

[Butchyrestingface]

I'm afraid it's a cheeky as fuck from me too, OP. Although I doubt I'd have signalled my umbrage quite as obviously as she did.

[TheFastandCurious]

I would have offered them to you and I would not have found it cheeky if you asked. I would have used it as an excuse to exchange pleasantries / crack a joke etc.

But I would never ask because so many people are arseholes. She was. Not for refusing to share the points but for behaving like a bitchy, gossipy school ground pratt.

[Theromanempire]

I did this the other day in M&S for the little bags of mini collectables as DC2 had started collecting them and I don't go often. I was behind a woman who had bought £80 worth of stuff so was entitled to 8 items. The cashier asked if she wanted them and she said no so I asked if I could have them...no idea why as I am naturally reserved but I thought of DC2's face when I got home with 8 bags and just asked! The woman didn't mind at all - because most people don't. The woman you encountered in Costa was weird!!

In Aldi the other day, the woman behind me at the checkout actually came and found me at the bagging area to give me her sports stickers as she had heard me chat with the cashier about DC's school collecting them.

[Mrsmadevans]

Don't worry about it , her bad.

[SteelRiver]

I'd rather any points I wasnt going to take went to someone else, so I wouldn't have a problem with someone asking me. I don't understand the fuss. I've often asked cashiers to pass vouchers (for school kit etc) to the next person in the queue who is collecting them. I don't think you were at all unreasonable, OP.

[Streamingbannersofdawn]

The lady was being weird I don't get why it's grabby but then I have recently discovered that if the person in front of me at Sainsbury's has loads of shopping and no children they will give me their lego cards if I ask.

Sainsbury's don't like it much but then the staff in our Sainsbury's can be a bit weird also. Apparently they can't give them to me but if they give them to the person in front of me who then passes them straight to me that's fine....jobsworths.

[AussieBeauty]

She was being a little uptight. Don't worry about it OP, she may have been in a bad mood already.

[VladmirsPoutine]

@Doyoumind I see your point then, and I apologise for calling you po-faced. But in that instance I would have asked for a receipt then given it to OP to top up at her leisure. I would have thought the server a 'jobs-worth' but that's neither here nor there. The woman in question's reaction was OTT and that's more the issue imho than OP being a cheeky-fucker, or grabby or entitled which she isn't.

The most innocuous scenario when discussed on Mumsnet always turns into bizarre accusations.

E.g.
An OP posts: My MiL held my baby the whole evening....
Other posters: GO NO CONTACT!

[DuckbilledSplatterPuff]

Fine to ask, fine for her to refuse... daggers looks... not fine.

[timshelthechoice]

Sainsbury's don't like it much but then the staff in our Sainsbury's can be a bit weird also. Apparently they can't give them to me but if they give them to the person in front of me who then passes them straight to me that's fine....jobsworths.

Has it ever crossed your mind that they might be following store policy and if they don't they could lose their jobs?

God there are so many mannerless grabby arse chancers always on the take out there.

[NewPapaGuinea]

Anyone thinking it’s cheeky, have a word with yourself. Why do you care even an iota?