Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was I wrong to ask for Costa points?

147 replies

Alldaygraze · 23/09/2019 15:19

I was in the queue in Costa yesterday and the person in front of me ordered a lot of things for about 6 people, it came to around £40. The man serving asked if she had a points card/app and she said no. I couldn’t help myself doing this and have never done this before!!! Shock
I asked “would you mind if I used my Costa card for your transaction as it’s a lot of points?” She looked at me like I’d asked for her firstborn, then looked at the barista open mouthed and then at her purse carrying on paying.

I said “Sorry I shouldn’t have asked I do apologise if I’ve annoyed you” and she just did a weird passive aggressive smile, raised her eyebrows and shook her head. It’s actually really hard to describe what she did without her saying any words but I got the impression she was very taken aback, embarrassed and offended.

She went to her table with her family or whoever they were and I ordered my drink and walked out. No one said anything but on the way out I passed their table and her and (I presume) I DH stared at me with daggers.

Ok help- I feel awful now and not sure if this is just not the done thing but like I said it was spontaneous and I didn’t want those points to go to ‘waste’ if you know what I mean? Prepared to get my arse handed to me!

OP posts:
Itsallluestheyrenotevensquare · 23/09/2019 15:56

This always happens in supermarkets when they're giving away kids collectable cards.

When I didn't have kids I passed them onto the next person and now that I do have kids the random tat gets passed onto me - happy days!

littlemisssugarpuffs · 23/09/2019 15:58

I would have asked them too, what a waste of all them points i would have happily said yes if that was me knowing they were going to somebody.

MissBehaves · 23/09/2019 16:00

If I’m not collecting points and am offered them at the till I often offer them to the next person instead.

I wouldn’t get upset or offended if someone asked as long as I wasn’t collecting them myself. (Wouldn’t be upset or offended as such in that situ either, but it’d be a polite No)

Itisnotapuppet · 23/09/2019 16:04

I'm not sure about this.

I totally don't blame you for having a go. It IS points going to waste!
But if I'd have been that woman I'm not sure I would have liked you asking me!

It's tricky.

timshelthechoice · 23/09/2019 16:06

Sorry but you are grabby AF! That is just beyond cheeky.

berlinbabylon · 23/09/2019 16:07

Hi OP I think you were cheeky but I would have probably said yes, after all it's nothing to me if I don't have a loyalty card for the particular shop or cafe.

berlinbabylon · 23/09/2019 16:08

Like asking a stranger for one of their chips I've been with people who've done exactly that, and they've always said yes. Not sure I'd have the nerve though,

Original poster
Alldaygraze · 23/09/2019 16:09

Yeah I’m seeing the other side too and how it looks cheeky and very grabby. It’s one of those situations where even though I wasn’t technically asking for anything that would have cost her personally, it comes across as entitled maybe. It’s intrusive too yes, I interrupted a bit. 🤔 Lesson learnt!

OP posts:
BearsOnTheStairs · 23/09/2019 16:10

I think if you asked nicely than YANBU.

I always offer my supermarket points to the person behind in the queue if I don't have a loyalty card for that supermarket.

Once a lady in front of me in a department store offered me her spare vouchers (not loyalty card related, just the sort that any shopper gets given at the till on occasion when the shop are running it) as they were due to expire and she couldn't use them all herself. I was thrilled as I was buying a whole load of kids clothes and shoes that day and she saved me a fortune, maybe 30% off.

Original poster
Alldaygraze · 23/09/2019 16:11

@berlinbabylon haha now that really is grabby, asking for a strangers food! Shock I can’t believe people actually do that, I would not be happy if someone came and asked for a chip off my plate and can’t imagine many people would like that 🤣

OP posts:
fromdownwest · 23/09/2019 16:11

Totally grabby and weird IMO, the lady may have taken her receipt and retrospectively added them. Either, way, no idea why you feel that you should be entitled to a reward off the back of someone else spending.

DamonSalvatoresDinner · 23/09/2019 16:12

I'm the type that would look back and ask the queue if anyone had a Costa reward card. It wasn't rude at all! I also hand money off coupons in Farmfoods if the person in front hasn't got any.

fromdownwest · 23/09/2019 16:13

But, we all do odd things in the heat of the moment and its good you can self reflect!

Original poster
Alldaygraze · 23/09/2019 16:14

@fromdownwest I didn’t feel entitled which is why I asked rather than demanded and why I apologised once I picked up on her reaction, oh and why I started this thread because I’ve felt so guilty for the past day!!

OP posts:
Original poster
Alldaygraze · 23/09/2019 16:14

@fromdownwest oops cross posted Blush Thank you Flowers

OP posts:
fromdownwest · 23/09/2019 16:18

@Alldaygraze - if the person had said yes without even thinking, then I am sure you'd not thought twice about it. If that is the worst thing you've done today, then its a good day! Smile

CloudsCanLookLikeSheep · 23/09/2019 16:22

I have a pathological aversion to reward cards and never collect points.. if someone in the queue behind me asked if they could have mine I wouldn't mind at all. However I can see some folk may be uncomfortable with this.

ffswhatnext · 23/09/2019 16:27

Are Costa one of the places you can add the points if you forgot your card afterwards?
I ask because I sometimes forget a card and add them later. Have also been asked before when it's been a huge amount and was called a tight bitch for declining.
Sometimes I will ask the person next inline if they want my points.

BossAssBitch · 23/09/2019 16:28

Her reaction was ridiculous, silly cow.

You were being a chancer, OP, but I would have given you my points, you weren't to know large order woman was a massive loon

OneAutumnMorning · 23/09/2019 16:28

I think it's best to wait to be offered in this case. It's you benefitting off them spending a lot. For free. But OP keep those balls you have I admire them greatly!

LisaRoundTheMulberryBush · 23/09/2019 16:31

Let's say for the sake of argument that it was weird to ask. It doesn't change the fact that her response was very rude. She could have just said, No, sorry, and left it at that.

I have two theories:

  1. she thought you were some kind of fraudster, or;
  2. she and her family had just come from a funeral.

I wouldn't give it a second though, honestly.

Surenuff · 23/09/2019 16:34

Her reaction was much worse than your behaviour - you were slightly cheeky as in going crossing the line of British Behaviour but you didn't do anything wrong so there was no need for her to do the whole bad smell routine.

And it's not the same as pinching a chip because OP wasn't trying to take something that the other customer wanted.

FrustratedTeddyLamp · 23/09/2019 16:34

I don't think its anything bad but i wouldn't have asked and would be a bit taken aback at being asked. I don't really see the points going to waste as a thing though, they're imaginary points its not as if its a cabbage thats gonna go mouldy if its not taken.

Also surprised at the amount of people that apparently chat in queues, not saying its a bad thing but its not something I experience, admittedly i don't leave the house too much but i talk to the workers regularly when i go out ( same places multiple times a week) but never see other people in the queue chat to me or others

Doyoumind · 23/09/2019 16:36

It's against the terms of the card anyway. It's for your loyalty, not someone else's purchases and she might have been worried the staff would have a problem with it.

I think it's grabby.

Itisnotapuppet · 23/09/2019 16:37

Seriously, OP, don't worry about it. It was worth a punt! She may have just said 'Sure! That's a great idea!' in which case you most likely wouldn't have thought twice about it.