Childminders at soft play

[namechanged121]

went to soft play with DC (1&3) don't normally go on a monday and there was maybe 8 child minders that show up, clearly all meet there on this day as they all knew each other...

At first I thought aw how lovely lots of DC same ages as mine for DC to play with but NO the child minders were all to busy chatting and drinking coffee! Children as young as 18 months running round the 3+ area getting stuck! Most of them were crying and being ignored...

Then my DC3 gets into a push along car and a little girl goes over and starts trying to rag her out of the car whilst another little boy is trying to push it backwards so I went over told the little boy to stop pushing it and said to the little girl please don't pull on (DC name) clothes thats not very nice! She totally ignored me and carried on!! Nobody came over so I gently took the girls hands of my DD and said NO! (The little girl looked around 3-4)

As I went to get my DC out of the car one of the women came over shouting why are you touching my DC... I was kind of for a few seconds then just said I asked your little girl not to pull on my child and she ignored me your clearly a child minder and instead of sitting on your ass talking you should watch your kids !! Then to top it of another one of her DC bites another DC whilst shes to busy having a go at me, I couldn't believe it!

Was I being unreasonable to have taken the little girls hands of my DC after asking nicely and being ignored ?! I can't get the look of DC's face out of my head, Iv always taught them to share and be kind at soft play so when stuff like this happens she looks to me for help

Hilarious. ‘I’d grab yer throat’, and ‘I wouldn’t use violence’, all in one sentence. Sit down before you hurt yourself!

Op. Yanbu. I’d not want a cm who didn’t supervise my kids. I would absolutely intervene as kids need to know boundaries and their parents are not the only ones who can impose them. I would also want my kid to know that I have their back too. I’m 30 (odd) and would be gutted if someone was having a go at me and my mum sat there and did nothing.

I know three excellent childminders who are currently practicing, and one who is retired. I know maybe triple that number of shoddy to shocking ones.

When I ran a toddler group we used to dislike it when a specific group of childminders showed up, purely because they never mucked in to help tidy up and we’re very hands off with their charges.

Honestly this has been my experience of childminders in my local area too, hence why I sent my ds to nursery instead.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3697500-Shouting-by-nursery-staff

For all of the people stating that they’d never use a childminder, and opt to put their children into nurseries, take a look at this thread which is active right now. A good nursery is better than a bad childminder, likewise, a good childminder is better than a bad nursery!

“I’d grab you by the throat”

Oh hey big ‘ard case Teddy bear, there.
We’re all shaking in our 🥾 here

If you grabbed my child like the OP did I’d grab your throat.
And we wonder where some children get it from....
Seriously, if a child is grabbing your child and not letting go, of course you remove them. It can be done gently, and it's important to show your child that it's not OK for them to be treated like that.
I've seen plenty of children left to sort it out and 9.5 times out of 10 it doesn't end well.

"For all of the people stating that they’d never use a childminder, and opt to put their children into nurseries, take a look at this thread which is active right now."

How very odd! Almost exactly the same posting history on that thread, yet different Ops!

@tanith How do we know this Op’s version of events is true? We obviously don’t, we only know her side of the story, true or not. I’m simply saying that one bad thread about childminders seems to put so many people off childminders, yet the amount of threads about bad nurseries that I’ve seen lately, but everyone is happy to promote them as being the best thing ever. Go and view nurseries and childminders and see which you are most comfortable with and what works best for you and your family

I am a childminder and I occasionally meet other minders at softplay but more often playgroups. I have lost count if the times us childminders are left to supervise most if the children while many parents are sitting chatting over coffee. I am always suprised at these posts because surely reasonably intelligent people are aware that they are a walking advertisement for their business?

There are some great childminders, nursery staff and parents out there. You also get douchebags from each category. They're the ones that leave you so shocked you turn to MN or tell friends about. It's not as much fun telling everyone about some excellent examples of parenting you've witnessed.
Yes, I would definitely intervene in a gentle way like you did.
YANBU. Hope it hasn't put you off going there.

I don't think you were unreasonable at all.
I don't know what 'ragging' is though.

I am a childminder, been one for a long time and I hardly ever go to soft play for the soul reason of childminders, am a bit sick of seeing them sat drinking coffees etc and not watching their mindees they’re paid to look after. Too many times have I moved my children away from others not being so nice, or random children in the wrong age areas or walking up slides etc. (Just to note some parents are just as bad.)
It’s just a shame childminders are tarred with the same brush, and are thought of not being as good as nurseries, whereas we’re inspected and graded the same.

@liverpoolgirl52

I'm simply pointing out the very similar posting history and style of the apparently completely different posters who've started both threads.

Oh dear, just as I was planning to take DS to soft play for the first time next week. Now it looks like I need to take him to martial arts lessons first. Where do I find an intensive one week Aikido course for toddlers? I'll also spend the week brushing up on my streetfighting skills, obviously, in case I meet anyone who picnics in the woods (is being grabbed by the throat the big surprise?).

YANBU!
Those childminders sounds delightful... 🙄

You were wrong to touch the DC bit only because it could of landed you in hot water. It sounds like your reaction was proportionate but sadly you have to be careful as accusations can be made ( as sad as it is!). I would perhaps consider approaching the group next time and out of sheer embarrassment of being called out in front of the other childminders, the culprits cater may actually get off their arse.