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AIBU?

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Original poster

Childminders at soft play

141 replies

namechanged121 · 23/09/2019 13:25

went to soft play with DC (1&3) don't normally go on a monday and there was maybe 8 child minders that show up, clearly all meet there on this day as they all knew each other...

At first I thought aw how lovely lots of DC same ages as mine for DC to play with but NO the child minders were all to busy chatting and drinking coffee! Children as young as 18 months running round the 3+ area getting stuck! Most of them were crying and being ignored...

Then my DC3 gets into a push along car and a little girl goes over and starts trying to rag her out of the car whilst another little boy is trying to push it backwards so I went over told the little boy to stop pushing it and said to the little girl please don't pull on (DC name) clothes thats not very nice! She totally ignored me and carried on!! Nobody came over so I gently took the girls hands of my DD and said NO! (The little girl looked around 3-4)

As I went to get my DC out of the car one of the women came over shouting why are you touching my DC... I was kind of Hmm for a few seconds then just said I asked your little girl not to pull on my child and she ignored me your clearly a child minder and instead of sitting on your ass talking you should watch your kids !! Then to top it of another one of her DC bites another DC whilst shes to busy having a go at me, I couldn't believe it!

Was I being unreasonable to have taken the little girls hands of my DC after asking nicely and being ignored ?! I can't get the look of DC's face out of my head, Iv always taught them to share and be kind at soft play so when stuff like this happens she looks to me for helpSad

OP posts:
FrauHaribo · 23/09/2019 15:46

You were absolutely right and any normal parent or carer would have done exactly the same.

At 3, you still stay with them and help them out.

They are far too young to be taught to hit back, because that would put them in so much trouble at school - you need to wait until they are old enough to make a difference between school and out of school.

If people like Teddybear45 don't want other parents to step in, they should stay with their little darlings and stop them themselves.

CassianAndor · 23/09/2019 15:51

Teddy and then you'd be thrown out and the police called, you silly woman. In front of your child.

SimonsJones · 23/09/2019 15:53

Teddy surprised that you have so quickly gained "kids" when you are still expecting your first?! Your ignorance is coming through.

WorraLiberty · 23/09/2019 15:56

*@painauchocolat84 - if you grabbed my child like the OP did I’d grab your throat.

So really gently then?

You'd look like a complete twonk.

doginthemanger · 23/09/2019 15:56

if you grabbed my child like the OP did I’d grab your throat. It’s as simple as that

That comment is remarkably stupid.
If you do have children, I can only assume they're of the thuggish variety.

FrauHaribo · 23/09/2019 15:57

but never would use violence or touch another child like this.

Teddybear45 we would all agree if the OP had used any violence. Where on earth did you see that she had? Confused

You are being utterly ridiculous, and no one at school will leave 3 year old "fight" over anything, teachers and TA don't just let that happen.

I don't believe for a minute you have a child Grin

Celebelly · 23/09/2019 16:02

Actually cackling.

I touched another child at a baby class today as she was about to poke my baby in the eye and her mum was momentarily looking away. I took her hand and moved it away from my daughter. I guess I should wait for the police to arrive to arrest me for assault.

Rosegoldmum · 23/09/2019 16:03

Yanbu. A child was smacking my dc at soft play on one occasion. I had to make my way over to them, but when I go there I scooped my dc up. Who was standing there gobsmacked and on the verge of tears. The amount of people who use soft play as a childminding service in general always amazes me. Many parents just leave their dc to their own devices In these places Hmm

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 23/09/2019 16:04

I have never and will never fight over kids. They push shove pinch and bite all the time. It’s just part of growing up.
It’s the CMs not watching them that concerns me.

Celebelly · 23/09/2019 16:05

I swear soft play threads bring out the most batshittery of folk.

SoyDora · 23/09/2019 16:05

In a year’s time they will be starting reception!

Yes, and would you believe in reception teachers intervene if children are snatching/being overly physical with each other? I have one in year 1 and one in reception and i can guarantee they are not simply left to ‘fight their own battles’.

IWouldPreferNotTo · 23/09/2019 16:08

@Celebelly

I'd put money on that the people who say "let them fight it out" are also the people who'd be calling the police if they received the slightest shove as an adult.

Celebelly · 23/09/2019 16:10

Yes, I can picture exactly the type of parent. The same type who talk about grabbing people by the throat in children's play areas GrinSmall wonder their children grow up to bully others Hmm

Kitchendiscodiva · 23/09/2019 16:11

If you do have children, I can only assume they're of the thuggish variety. Grin

Celebelly · 23/09/2019 16:12

Mind you, maybe there's a niche for a toddlers' fight club area... 🤔🤔🤔👊

GracefulHare · 23/09/2019 16:13

This thread makes me really glad my dds are older & I don't have to go to soft play anymore. I still get the rage over things that happened in soft play a decade ago! Lazy parents ignoring their kids while they have coffee is bad enough; child minders doing it while being paid is really awful. You were absolutely right to help your dd.

taytosandwich · 23/09/2019 16:14

'if you grabbed my child like the OP did I’d grab your throat. It’s as simple as that'

If you grabbed my throat I'd elbow you in the face and boot you in the fanny. Then I'd get my mates round to tie you to a lamppost and tar and feather you. Ah softplay Grin

Effiedg · 23/09/2019 16:16

Why didn't the woman intervene while everyone was in the soft play area and the incident was taking place? Maybe it's because she wasn't watching and the child concerned told her afterwards.

Celebelly · 23/09/2019 16:16

@taytosandwich Actually lol'd at 'boot you in the fanny' 😂😂😂😂

Can't wait till DD is old enough to go to soft play so I can enjoy a cup of coffee and assault another parent!

Mia1415 · 23/09/2019 16:16

@Teddybear45 are you for real? Did you read the OP? Do you normally go around assaulting other parents for stopping other children getting hurt. If you saw your child hurting another you'd just stand there and watch it until another parent stepped in and gently tried to stop the child and you'd then assault them. Really?

MiraLuna · 23/09/2019 16:17

Totally not BU. I've told other kids off at soft play before. There was a lad of 8/9 hiding in the toddler part and scaring the hell out of them all by jumping out and screaming at them. Did it to my son so I went up and had a word, as his parents were too busy talking to mates to care. He quickly skulked off to some other corner of the bigger soft play. I didn't want mine, or any other little children not feeling able to play safely in the area designated to them.
I have also removed another childs hands from my child at toddler groups when their parents were too busy looking at their phones to deal with their children. People need to be aware of what their children/charges are doing, and teach them boundaries.

seaweedandmarchingbands · 23/09/2019 16:18

Teddy:

You would be on CCTV committing an assault. Good call!

WorraLiberty · 23/09/2019 16:27

Can't wait till DD is old enough to go to soft play so I can enjoy a cup of coffee and assault another parent!

Grin Grin

Yellowbutterfly1 · 23/09/2019 16:31

Unfortunately the majority of the childminders that I used to see at toddler group made me very very thankful that I didn’t need to use one.
It was much the same as others have reported, sat drinking coffee, chatting to other childminders and ignoring the children.

Venger · 23/09/2019 16:35

Was I being unreasonable to have taken the little girls hands of my DC after asking nicely and being ignored ?!

YANBU for (presumably gently) untangling two children.

YABU though for presuming all childminders are like this.

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