AIBU over car DP got us?

[DrivingTat]

Hi, all

I need to know how U you think I am over this.

So this Saturday my DP went to get us a new car (secondhand), I did not go with him as I had plans and was not that interested tbh. He sorted our last one out, which we scrapped last week as was too much to repair (head gasket)... It was a fiesta 54 plate.

So Saturday I went shopping with my friend, which was lovely! Had such a nice day as I had not seen her for awhile. Anyway half way through the day (about 1pm) I get a text from DP. "Got us a car sorted". I texted back without a thought to ask which one. I said "fab babe, we were just talking about you lol". That was it.

I get home about 8pm, feeling v relaxed and happy. So there I am telling DP about my day and he tells me about his. Yes the car I say let's see it!!

I go outside with DP and he points to it! I laughed my head off thinking he was taking the piss. He wasn't.

It's a blue 1989 escort, with one wheel trim and cassette radio. Why?! Just why?!

I don't like it, don't want it. It's my own fault for being so relaxed about buying a car and leaving it up to him, I know that but AIBU to be annoyed?

I have not said anything to him, because I don't know what to say. It's bought, taxed, insured. WWUD? Do I throw a fit and say take it back? Do I yell at him for not first asking to buy such a old car? Do I just live with it and get over it. It's been two days and I still feel so pissed off at him!! And myself.

We share one car, paid for out a joint account. We agreed on a budget, and yes he stuck to it. I really am not a car snob, I really did not think I cared as long as it got me from a-b but clearly I do. I just don't understand why that one. It's a tatty mess. How is it even still running!!!

@flouncyfanny nope not that one lol. It's a hatchback ooh it has a sunroof though lol.

@Newsheet ok that was a bit rude. And I have already said I will have to live with it for a bit.

I think I will leave this thread now as it's clearly moved past the point of support. Thank you all.

Well if you're buying cassettes, here's my first recommendation ...actually it's the only album I know that's on cassette 😂

store.universalmusic.com/the1975/*/Music/A-Brief-Inquiry-Into-Online-Relationships-Limited-Edition-Red-Cassette-Store-Exclusive/5Z5K0O14000

I do hope you take some of the advice on board, OP.
People have been supportive, you just don't appear to want to hear anything than "yes he has been stupid".
There are people with car knowledge here that can tell you exactly what it's worth and where you can make a profit if there's one to be made but you aren't engaging with any of them.

So enjoy your car.

There are people with car knowledge here that can tell you exactly what it's worth and where you can make a profit if there's one to be made but you aren't engaging with any of them.

This!!

She could be sitting on a couple of grand profit and all to buy something much more to her taste, but refuses to take the offers of help available.

Strange

@AlansLeftMoob I came on here to vent and get support. I have not asked anybody to call my DP stupid at all.

@Newsheet same to you as above. I did not come on here to sell the bloody shit box car. I came on here because I was upset. I have also politely declined to give my car reg details out.

I don't want to sell it on Mumsnet. I want to vent that I am upset! And bloody pissed off. Oh and I have never said I want DP to take all the blame.

Gosh this was not a thread about selling the car. And I would have to talk to DP, which if you had read my posts, you would see I have not done so yet.

He might have bought the bloody thing with telling me which car it was, which was my fault. But that does not mean I would sell it from under him.

If you do make some cassettes, try and get the Steptoe and Son tune to wind up DH

i just googled.and i really dont want to judge!but wtaf

Without*

Sorry crossed post. Perfectly OK to Vent

@BarbaraofSeville my Dad had one of those when I was a kid. He was well into his cars, he worked with them and drove corvettes and the like for work so I remember Mum and I being really baffled when he went from a beautiful Cortina Ghia MK3 to a Fiat Strada.

There is a reason there aren't many about, they rusted to buggery. He finished up hating that car and traded it in after less than a year. I do remember it fondly though as it was so bad and bright orange

i dont think your wrong to be upset op.im really impressed with you actually.how as soon as you saw it you didnt go mental i dont know!i would have "what are you thikning.seriously what have you dont?"
i think you just need to sit down with him and be kindly but brutaly honest.i dont know how you serve that seeing as only you know him nad how you interact so it could take differnt tones for different couples.
but just tell him you were bit shocked.you need a car and cant see how this was his choice.could he help you understand.you appreciate everything he has done to get it and you didnt want any part in it.but your still finding yoruslef confused as you dont know how it could be a good choice?

I used to have one of them. It's not.... no, it couldn't be... could it?

What's the last 3 reg digits OP?

Sorry I'd just have killed him and buried the body. I just wouldn't ever be able to get past the stupidity of his actions.
What in the name of all that is holy was he thinking?

You can get a cassette to aux cable. It plugs in like a cassette and you can use your phone that way. I had one on my old cassette player Beetle (2000 model).

Well there's only one thing for you to do now.

Go shopping for beaded seat covers, fluffy dice and a blue tinted windscreen banner with your names on ie. Bob & Rita.

If you can't beat em......

YANBU, I would be furious. Car safety has improved dramatically in the last 30 (!) years. The environmental impact would also concern me but not at much as the safety. I would not drive a 30 year old car or allow my kids to go in one.

• same to you as above. I did not come on here to sell the bloody shit box car. I came on here because I was upset. I have also politely declined to give my car reg details out.

I don't want to sell it on Mumsnet. I want to vent that I am upset! And bloody pissed off. Oh and I have never said I want DP to take all the blame.

Gosh this was not a thread about selling the car. And I would have to talk to DP, which if you had read my posts, you would see I have not done so yet.

He might have bought the bloody thing with telling me which car it was, which was my fault. But that does not mean I would sell it from under him.*

Wow - you really aren’t prepared to listen to when people are trying to help are you?

Post the model and mileage. That’s all, nothing remotely personal about that.

People can then give an indication of what’s it worth. It maybe much more than he paid.

No one suggested selling it from under him, but at least then you could have a reasonable adult conversation along the lines of “I hate that car and don’t want to keep it, but it turns out if we advertise it in the right places we may get £3,000 back for it - result”

Anyway, people have tried to help and you don’t want to hear it.

Enjoy your sulk

@Duckbilled lol, posts like yours are v helpful in making light of it all, so thank you.

@kateandme yes you are right I need to talk to DP an find out why he got it. Was it because he wanted a old car from the start or was it just he seen this car within budget and was a 5 door hatch in good condition and did not give a thought about the age.

@madcatladyforever I have been v annoyed since I first clapped eyes on it but I know it's my fault as well. I left him to it, I made that mistake.

Thank you @pintsizeduck I will look online and order one, as that seems a lot easier and cheaper then putting a cd player in.

Lol @Demon yes fluffy dice all the way, bright pink! That will teach my DP, he can drive around with them hehehe

@ThomasRichard yes I have already accepted that if any of us crash in the car we are dead. But I don't want to give that too much thought as it's scary.

My first car had a sunroof and cassette player, and oh how I missed them when I moved on to my next car with CD player and A/C.

I had an auxillary tape thing that I could feed to an MP3 player, and cassettes took sitting around the passenger seat and glove compartment much better than CDs. I was a sod for driving with the same CD for months.

The sunroof was brilliant. Hot blowers on in the winter and sunroof open and it was fantastic for drying my hair on the way to work

You need a good talk when you're calm enough to deal with it. At least there is the potential that this is a classic which can gain value towards the next car rather than being a pure money pit like most old bangers.

Retro Cool!
I’ve seen worse in classic car auctions- genuinely!!
Whilst it’s a bold choice as your only car. Embrace it, get some old now cassettes and enjoy.

As the owner of a 40 year old classic car I do think buying a 30 year old Ford as a main car is a strange decision. Particularly if neither of you is keen on mechanics.
Still it will be a good car to learn on...

@Newsheet I have already said though, I don't know the model. I would have to go outside and look at the mileage but I mean how do I even know it's real, without looking at all the old mots.

It's not as simple as just telling you the model and mileage and BAM. It takes dragging up the history of the car, making sure there is all correct info. Fgs badges on boots are always taken off or glued on. I have made it clear, more then once. I don't care about the model. I don't even know if it's been written off in the past. I thought I made it clear, I know nothing, I don't want to at this stage. It's too late we have it. If we sell it DP will deal with all that stuff as he knows.

I am upset not having a sulk. I feel like you have not read my posts or else you would know I know nothing. I'm pissed off about the car why on earth would I want to go digging up the history of the car?

Again at this stage I am not looking to sell, I would need to talk to DP first anyway.

I’d be super pissed off too. It’s like my husband goes shopping and I say “I’m not bothered, get whatever for dinner” and he comes back with a horse. It’s just fucking stupid. If you generally drive a reliable modern car and just need a runaround why wouldn’t he stick with the formula? You surely would talk about deviating from the norm so much?