AIBU over car DP got us?

[DrivingTat]

Hi, all

I need to know how U you think I am over this.

So this Saturday my DP went to get us a new car (secondhand), I did not go with him as I had plans and was not that interested tbh. He sorted our last one out, which we scrapped last week as was too much to repair (head gasket)... It was a fiesta 54 plate.

So Saturday I went shopping with my friend, which was lovely! Had such a nice day as I had not seen her for awhile. Anyway half way through the day (about 1pm) I get a text from DP. "Got us a car sorted". I texted back without a thought to ask which one. I said "fab babe, we were just talking about you lol". That was it.

I get home about 8pm, feeling v relaxed and happy. So there I am telling DP about my day and he tells me about his. Yes the car I say let's see it!!

I go outside with DP and he points to it! I laughed my head off thinking he was taking the piss. He wasn't.

It's a blue 1989 escort, with one wheel trim and cassette radio. Why?! Just why?!

I don't like it, don't want it. It's my own fault for being so relaxed about buying a car and leaving it up to him, I know that but AIBU to be annoyed?

I have not said anything to him, because I don't know what to say. It's bought, taxed, insured. WWUD? Do I throw a fit and say take it back? Do I yell at him for not first asking to buy such a old car? Do I just live with it and get over it. It's been two days and I still feel so pissed off at him!! And myself.

We share one car, paid for out a joint account. We agreed on a budget, and yes he stuck to it. I really am not a car snob, I really did not think I cared as long as it got me from a-b but clearly I do. I just don't understand why that one. It's a tatty mess. How is it even still running!!!

Realevilmuffin 😂

I truly feel your pain, but you havnt got a leg to stand on.....sorry.
Lesson learnt. I think l would try n get rid pronto. But handle him kindly. Man brain really did believe you were good with his choice. Silly boy. Hope you get it sorted soon.

I'd be hacked off too, but it depends how well it goes. My husband bought a Y reg Yaris and it goes amazingly well. I'd rather have the Yaris than a newer French car. Our other car is a 54 plate Toyota also never really had a problem with it. Very reliable. Age doesn't mean much but I'd want to know it's reliable.

Crikey, my mum just sold a 54 Plate Skoda for £150, runs a treat, never needed more than the wipers replacing. Very practical for dc, economical, low mileage, boot the size of a large back garden. If I’d needed a car I’d have snapped it up myself.

I feel for you OP. If he was buying a replacement car, it is not unreasonable to assume that he will obtain something comparable, unless otherwise discussed. The car he had brought home might be a charming reminder of his youth but it’s not suitable for the family. It’s like you telling him you’ll replace the plasma flatscreen and arriving home with a 30 year old tv from the junk shop. You could twiddle the dial to get Blanketty Blank when he wants sport on Sky. In fact maybe that’s the best way to make your point....

Cherry soup- i’d have bought your mum’s Skoda!!

He told me he's sorry, he just fell in love with it. I blew up at him and told him he was selfish.

And you were 100% right, @DrivingTat. Seriously, that’s some new levels of incredibly selfish. So he didn’t think about whether it was: a good deal, safe, comfortable, good for you and the DC, convenient for you to drive daily since you’re the one who has to... the list goes on. But since HE fell in LOVE... honestly, he’s lucky he’s not under a patio by now, along with his new automotive “love” and all the other Mumsnet husbands who have pulled unbelievable stunts like this. What a twatwaffle.

Does it have a cup holder? If so, it's fine with me!

To be fair, I bet it'll be more reliable than newer cars. My grandparents always say the cars they had 30-40 years ago are miles better than they are today

Your grandparents are wrong.

Morning all, thought I would update, this will probably be my last.

Me and DP went out last night for dinner, he sorted it all including someone to watch the DC. Was a lovely surprise tbh. We have discussed it all about the car, he has said he knows he fucked up big time. He just fell in love and it was a 5 door hatch not in red. Anyway we have agreed to get rid at a later date, as we can't be without a car right now, even for a few days. We have also come to a compromise (his idea actually), that if after two weeks I am still finding it stressful and upsetting we will look into getting a car on finance. Of course we did talk about that to start with before this car but I have always been reluctant to do so.

As for the unleaded question, I did not even think to ask DP that! But I filled it up yesterday morning and it's still running and stinking of petrol. I think even DP would not be so stupid as to buy a car that ran on leaded.

I just want to say thank you again to everyone, it really did help coming on here. I feel so much better about it all, maybe it's not so bad.

I also want to say I have took the advice given. I have ordered the aux tape, the pink fluffy dice (yes really!) And some new wheel trims! I took the old wheel trim off an threw it in the bin yesterday. I will also keep all the paperwork, even though I really can't see how a receipt for a tyre from 15 years ago would boost the price of sale. But you all know better then me on this front so I will keep it all.

As for the parts in the shed, DP is going to sort through them and bin the ones not expensive to replace. If I had my way they would all be going but there we go, again I put my trust in people that know better.

Yes @pooopypants this is AIBU but that does not mean I asked to be insulted. You have called me names for no reason. A lot of other people got their point across with the name calling. Also I see you have locked on to the fact I said I was embarrassed to drive it but ignored all my safety concerns. It's not shallow to want the best we can afford and I don't think that is a escort from 30 years ago. But there we go.

On a side note, I popped to my mom's house last night on the way home and she asked me wtf. I told her and she told me that's what I get for trusting a man to be responsible. I told her she was sexist and DP is good at being responsible. She raised her eyebrow and said yes that's why you are driving round in a bean can! I burst out laughing, she is v funny. Love her to bits.

On a very small positive note, if it's anything like the one I had (sorry i'm old so I mine in the early 90's) it did have very heavy steering, what with have no power steering, I got really strong arm muscles.

If it is any comfort, my huaband has recently got a new secondhand car. It is far too big for now the children have left home and too big for me to drive. The problem is he will only buy Fiat cars doen't ask me why and there isn't much around at the moment.

My feelings are it is what he wanted, he seems happy with it and it is his money.

That's essentially a classic car! What on earth was he thinking?! He probably needs to do it up and sell it on as it will be expensive to maintain.

You should've gone with him though, you should care as you share a car. If you're stuck with it, then you'll just have to go with it!

OP, please change your username to BeanCanBetty.

Love your update, good luck with the BC