To think this won't ruin Christmas?

[CaterpillarInTheGarden]

Mil was saying it won't be long until dc will believe in santa-claus (dc is only 22 months so surely it would be next Christmas not the upcoming Christmas ). I mentioned we were thinking of not doing the whole santa-claus thing and telling him the truth. Mil said how awful I was, and I will be ruining Christmas for my dc and that I'm a very selfish women.

AIBU to think that's a over reaction and it won't ruin Christmas. Any of you not do the whole santa-claus thing for Christmas?

One of the things I don't like about the whole thing is that we've always given relatively modest gifts at christmas, and only smaller things in a stocking, whereas lots of my DC's peers get many significant and expensive gifts from "Santa". My DCs could easily believe they've been naughty or bad as a result and for those who get nothing from Santa it must be so much worse.

We've not sold the myth of Santa but we've not dispelled it either.

I'm pretty shocked that people are calling young children who tell others the truth "little twats".

Scrooge is well and truly in the building...

Don’t ruin the magic Christmas for your kid.

You may want your child to know the truth but what about when the blab to their friends. I would be seriously pissed if your kid spoilt it for for one of mine because you decided to be a Scrooge*

And if a child of a different religion told your precious angel?

How inconvenient that not everyone does things the same way 🙄

Personally I love Santa, the Easter bunny, the tooth fairy, the lot and I think my kids really enjoyed the fantasy and sharing the excitement of it all with their friends. Practically the whole country is going to be continually asking your child if his excited about Father Christmas coming in the lead up to every Christmas until he’s about 10.

All the other kiddies will be doing the Santa thing and probably also the really more annoying ‘elf on the shelf’ malarkey and so he might feel different and I reckon there’s very little chance of the kid keeping his trap shut and not sharing his truth with his little friends left right and centre, which might not make you or him very popular.! Expect him not to have any play dates or party invites in the run up to Christmas once the word gets round.

Also if you fast forward 16 years or so, this decision might come back to bite you in the bum. It’s quite likely to be one of those things a young adult sites when they’re listing your parental failings. Probably along the lines of, ‘remember how all the other kids were all excited waiting for Santa and you had to spoil it by telling a little kid he wasn’t real, thanks Mum’ !

I think it is selfish and agree with your MIL. You are putting your beliefs before their happiness. It just seems so mean.

@Mummadeeze full of yourself much? just because you like it (and YOU want to do all the pretend magic and commercialisation), it doesn’t mean its the only way. its a very, very small part of the wofl
population who have bought into santa who is a fairly recent commercial invention....

It is your choice . Some of the reactions here are extreme and rude . I didn't push this fairy story and similarly it was not pushed on to me . I don't think I ever believed in father Christmas but I always loved Christmas and found it to be an extremely magical time without believing in father Xmas . By the way, I still find Christmas a magical time

And what if your kid says this to the other kids at nursery/ school @CaterpillarInTheGarden ? You'll have a lot of angry parents and staff at the setting and be left out of events ( personally I'd ask you to leave) I think your kid would also resent you for destroying his childhood magic

@conderellainyellakissedafella about half of the kids at nursery/school won’t believe in santa for cultural reasons anyway.....
the ones who feel the need to lecture others are usually the one who find out it was a lie, not the ones that never believe in it. the ones who never believed in it don’t see it as big news, so no need to blurt it out

Oh this is so sad santa is magical and makes chrsitmas so lovely for children. I dont get why anyone wouldnt want to involve their children in that. I dont have any issues or problems becouse my parents told me about santa or the tooth fairy in fact I loved it all and i was happy my parents made things fun and magic for me growing up.

i was happy my parents made things fun and magic for me growing up

This perfectly illustrates the point I (and others!) have been making.

I was happy my parents made things fun and magic for me growing up. A fun and magical childhood isn’t dependent on one story, once a year.

There are so, so many ways of creating a wonderful, enriched, magical childhood. To suggest anything else is simply arrogance. Are we really all subscribing to “my way is the only way and everyone should do it?”

There are so, so many ways of creating a wonderful, enriched, magical childhood. To suggest anything else is simply arrogance. Are we really all subscribing to “my way is the only way and everyone should do it?”

I’ve tried to explain this before on this thread, but I think the reason for such strong feelings isn’t arrogance.

More that the tradition of believing in Santa is such a strongly positive part of childhood for many people that they’d hate to see someone miss out on it.

It may be misguided, but it’s coming from a well meaning place.

Evangelism always comes from a well-meaning place. Doesn't make it welcome, kind or right though.

Jesus if ever the Daily Mail needed to steal a story this would be right up their alley. It's like an idiot fest.

Crikey. I’m with MIL on this one.

Father Christmas is real. I'd like to refer you to a documentary called 'Miracle on 34th Street'...

I've not read the whole thread but I have never promoted Father Christmas to my kids because I just think it's wrong to embellish a lie as they get older and older and eventually find out the truth. I felt quite betrayed by my parents when I found out the truth. From people at school, which is always the way it happens.

Children can have a wonderful Christmas without believing in a man who breaks into the house to deliver presents(!) @CaterpillarInTheGarden

myself2020 I am not full of myself. The OP asked for opinions and that is mine. I can totally see why her MIL is gutted. And I do struggle to see the alternative point of view. If she was a different religion and had alternative celebrations then fair enough, but she’s not.

Oh and also it's none of your MIL's business how you raise your children. She's out of order. In fact I think she's the selfish one for wanting to live vicariously through your children.

Evangelism always comes from a well-meaning place. Doesn't make it welcome, kind or right though

You don’t have to listen to them if you don’t want to.

Mind you, your personal techniques for shutting down the argument in here don’t appear to be working

Hmmm religion is basically a lie but folks do that? So what's the difference with believing in Santa for a short while.

For the sake of my siblings I had to pretend well into my teens. I was the eldest of 7 and you do it so as not to ruin it for others. If be gutted if anyone ruined it for my kids or if any of mine ruined it for another child. Even once mine knew they still knew to keep up the magic for others.

Hmmm religion is basically a lie but folks do that?

Don’t do that either. But if DD wanted to follow a belief system that hasn’t been pushed on her that’s fine.

So what's the difference with believing in Santa for a short while.

There isn’t much difference as far as I’m concerned. But then lengths some parents go to to make Santa seem real doesn’t seem to be replicated in religion. Parents aren’t taking children to visit people dressed as Jesus or that Allah delivered their weekly food shop.

Some of the elements of Santa I do not like
Particularly that someone comes to your house in the night. And my DD hated that element too

I really don’t see why this part of the magical story is still going - and I feel it’s just growing bigger and bigger. I suppose we are all supposed to teach our DC to trust that this magical fantasy man is not a stranger and it’s completely normal for him to come to your house while you are asleep

Also don’t think it works well for primary aged kids, because all parents work it differently. Some DC get a PS4 from Santa and some get a colouring book and some PJ’s. This can make children feel they are naughty if he isn’t leaving them PS4’s. It has also become even more OTT now with people doing Xmas eve boxes/gifts as well everything else.

The magic of Christmas for me and many others is spending time with your family, generosity, caring and loving people not sitting staring at NORAD on an iPad or spending £20 and 3 hours in a queue at a garden centre to sit on the lap of a strange man

Don’t confuse magical childhood with consumerism, you can have lovely childhood memories of Christmas without most of this total rubbish that seems to go along with it

Hmmm religion is basically a lie but folks do that?

@supermommyof4 Religious parents teach their children something that they genuinely believe in themselves. So there's no parallel with Father Christmas.

Having said that, I loved the FC stuff with my kids.