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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this won't ruin Christmas?

978 replies

CaterpillarInTheGarden · 23/09/2019 09:14

Mil was saying it won't be long until dc will believe in santa-claus (dc is only 22 months so surely it would be next Christmas not the upcoming Christmas Hmm). I mentioned we were thinking of not doing the whole santa-claus thing and telling him the truth. Mil said how awful I was, and I will be ruining Christmas for my dc and that I'm a very selfish women.

AIBU to think that's a over reaction and it won't ruin Christmas. Any of you not do the whole santa-claus thing for Christmas?

OP posts:
Original poster
CaterpillarInTheGarden · 23/09/2019 17:49

Contraceptionismyfriend I wasn't too bothered either way, but mil interfering did make me want to dig my heals in. She think she gets to dictate every aspect of my our lives and I am sick of it.

OP posts:
Aderyn19 · 23/09/2019 17:52

Who are these bloody weirdos leaving milk and a biscuit for Santa. I was brought up to leave a large whisky Wink

PoohBearsHole · 23/09/2019 17:54

If it helps our Santa brings :

Pants
Socks
A bar of chocolate
A dvd
A book
A craft (possibly)

Pants - we already bloody need these and socks 😂
Chocolate - only day they can have it for breakfast
I have a film addict - yes we could stream them if we pay thousands and thousands to get by to lay a line to our door - not everyone has Uber fast internet (🤬)
This may be a notebook/art book or reading book
Craft - to go with above and usually something like growing a plant or cress or something relatively useful 🙄

I’m quite a tight arse so refuse to just buy shit - all the things they need during the year are purchased and put in stocking - toothbrush,toothpaste, pjs - things that are consumable regardless. It hasn’t sucked the fun out of Xmas, they love a rummage around and I feel relatively guilt free that the stocking is done and they are getting gifts that would have to be purchased/sourced somewhere.

Dcs friends all seem to get PS4, iPhones and the like - and to that extent I find it incredibly wasteful and consumer orientated. Doesn’t have to be all silly, I find (for us) it’s a win win. And have consistently put the practical in so now is I didn’t they’d think FC was a weirdo 😂

In short though, as a pp said - do what you want for you - I still do it as I enjoy it as do the dc x

PoohBearsHole · 23/09/2019 17:58

Oh and OP MIL is furious as one D.C. decided they wanted to go to boarding school. MIL brought this up with D.C. as she thinks it’s cruel - 11yo basically said oh do fuck off dear - in much more polite language and explained that she couldn’t think of anything more she wanted to do regardless of how dh and I felt and it was her choice.

Still MIl will tell everyone I’m a bad and inconsiderate parent for excluding her from family life and depositing her to board (flexi). Actually it wasn’t my choice.........

Ignore MIl and do what YOU want but do it for the right reason and not just to rebel against her Smile

JacquesHammer · 23/09/2019 17:59

Listen, you can do your own version! You can make it into anything you want

But we can’t not do Father Christmas? So “you can do your own version” really only goes so far?

Oysterbabe · 23/09/2019 18:00

Growing up santa liked a sherry. DH left out water. Last year he had milk. We'll ask DD what she thinks he wants this year, probably a fruit shoot.

Chimpd0g · 23/09/2019 18:01

I still remember vividly to this day (nearly 50) the excitement of waking up and feeling the weight of the stocking at the end of the bed. Nothing is as magic.

Baguetteaboutit · 23/09/2019 18:02

What does your DH think? I'd be furious if my DH put the kibosh on Santa to win a pissing contest with my parents.

Boobiliboobiliboo · 23/09/2019 18:03

I still remember vividly to this day (nearly 50) the excitement of waking up and feeling the weight of the stocking at the end of the bed. Nothing is as magic.

We do that. We just don’t say anything about how it got there.

choli · 23/09/2019 18:05

Won't someone please think of the Jewish children? Do they all grow up to be drug addicted alcoholics? Lack of Santa Claus doesn't seem to have affected my husband.

Chimpd0g · 23/09/2019 18:19

not saying you have to do it, just saying that for me personally it is a lovely, exciting, magical thing to do.

randomusername · 23/09/2019 18:57

I just wanted to add I didn't have Christmas growing up, i didn't even realise it was a thing until school... that's how deprived I was 🙄🙄
I did wonder why this Santa geezer made the other kids so anxious about coal😉
I was not a teenage Mother, nor am I a drug addict or an alcoholic. Ya'll crazy to think Santa is an essential part of childhood!

MondeoFan · 23/09/2019 19:26

YABU and when he is an adult you will see how wrong you were. A bit of magic never hurt anyone? I think you must be a very mean spirited person

JacquesHammer · 23/09/2019 19:28

YABU and when he is an adult you will see how wrong you were

You’re confusing opinion and fact.

myself2020 · 23/09/2019 19:49

Mine know santa isn’t real (2 and 6 years old). christmas is still magical for them as its about family and love, not a male stranger giving them gifts...

spanglydangly · 23/09/2019 19:50

@myself2020 is it relevant that Santa 🎅 is male?

myself2020 · 23/09/2019 19:54

@spanglydangly given that kids and parents are hysterical about stranger danger (just look at the post on names on schoolbags) i find it highly amusing that the same parents than tell kids is ok if s stranger comes into their room at night and gives them gifts for being good....
(my kids have their name on the outside of their pe kit btw... )

LaurieMarlow · 23/09/2019 20:08

given that kids and parents are hysterical about stranger danger

Well there’s nothing heartening or positive about that particular feature of the modern world.

Surely a counter narrative is a positive development.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 23/09/2019 20:16

The Easter Bunny is a load of tosh, of course.

YOU LIE!!!!!

Everybody knows Malteasers are Easter Bunny poo . . .

InsertFunnyUsername · 23/09/2019 20:21

I understand people who dont want to do the FC thing and all the extra stuff some people do, Or parents that just let their children figure it out for themselves and do not push the idea on them. What I dont get is the ones that shout I WILL NOT LIE TO MY CHILD. I just find that dramatic, Just say you cant be arsed to play pretend and be done with it.

FWIW we never had the Easter bunny growing up, it was just a time Nanna gave us chocolate eggs. And my DM was not keen on Halloween so we rarely were interested in it. So I dont think it's wrong not to do the fat man in the red suit, I just find the excuses strange.

SandraOhshair · 23/09/2019 20:30

I think it's a bit mean not to go along with the Santa thing.

Ohyesiam · 23/09/2019 20:33

Did no one else do a sort of hybrid Christmas thing, where there was a stocking and Santa, but no one expected it to be real.
It was like a Christmas game we played.
I suppose this made sense in my childhood where I was brought up catholic, and didn’t ever believe bible stories in a literal sense. I thought they were allegorical. So I thought the same about Father Christmas too( and didn’t realise other children thought there really were flying reindeer, and we didn’t have chimneys on our estate Grin). I genuinely didn’t realise I was supposed to take it as truth.

So that’s how I did it for my kids, it’s a nice Christmas game.
Lots of magic, no thruth/ untruth.

carly2803 · 23/09/2019 20:34

for once..im on the MIl's side

You miserable git!!! its part of christmas!

popsadaisy · 23/09/2019 20:39

Sorry but I agree with your MIL.

sorrythisusernameisinuse · 23/09/2019 20:41

This absolutely breaks my heart. Father Christmas makes Christmas!

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