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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think this won't ruin Christmas?

978 replies

CaterpillarInTheGarden · 23/09/2019 09:14

Mil was saying it won't be long until dc will believe in santa-claus (dc is only 22 months so surely it would be next Christmas not the upcoming Christmas Hmm). I mentioned we were thinking of not doing the whole santa-claus thing and telling him the truth. Mil said how awful I was, and I will be ruining Christmas for my dc and that I'm a very selfish women.

AIBU to think that's a over reaction and it won't ruin Christmas. Any of you not do the whole santa-claus thing for Christmas?

OP posts:
GabsAlot · 23/09/2019 13:58

Why does it take away the magc i was always told the truth and i still oved xmas presents food famil,y-didnt ruin it for me

Do what u want op i think parents do it for themselves

Tilltheendoftheline · 23/09/2019 13:58

Oh and my kids dont believe anymore. Its still magic and fun.

shesgrownhorns · 23/09/2019 13:58

I get you OP. I struggle with it morally, the idea that you can just write a list and Santa will provide. But I think he'd be missing out.

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 23/09/2019 13:59

We did the whole father Christmas thing, because of all the tradition and pressure and I do remember my eldest effectively asking "why did you lie to us." when someone at school told him and having a difficult and uncomfortable conversation about it with him. So I can understand where the OP is coming from.
I also remember being bitterly disappointed and unable to understand why father christmas brought so much to some and so little to others. So for all the magic wonder there's also some huge difficulties with the whole thing. Given my time again, I'd rather focus on the whole idea of Christmas and giving, rather than on the jolly old elf - except as a lovely fantasy story/much loved fairytale.
Ultimately every parent should do what suits them best, but in these days of social media I think even young children will catch on quicker than we expect them to.

Pukkatea · 23/09/2019 13:59

No one said that at all, but it is a lovely part of childhood. Did you believe in Santa as a child, did you feel hard done by when you found out he wasn't real?

No, I didn't really. I didn't believe in the tooth fairy either, because they didn't make any sense and to be honest seemed pointless to me. There are so many things in the world that are actually wondrous and magical, and none of them are a fake man in a suit.

Tilltheendoftheline · 23/09/2019 14:00

Put it this way OP, if you never tell them FC is real, you never have to break the news that he isn't

I didn't break the news. The kids asked me at about 7. I told them the truth. No drama, no upset, no humiliation life went on.

chocatoo · 23/09/2019 14:00

Don’t be surprised if other parents ensure their DC steer clear around Christmastime. I was fed up with a child in DDs class who told everyone Santa wasn’t real.

GabsAlot · 23/09/2019 14:00

The way some pepole go on its like child abuse if you dont believe in a made up person ffs

violetswordfish · 23/09/2019 14:00

It's the ones that are raised with "No mummy and daddy got you the presents only silly kids believe in Santa" attitude that ruin it for everyone else.

I don't think anyone is suggesting that?
I won't encourage my kids to continue a lie about santa being real. They're perfectly entitled to say "I don't believe in santa" the same way they can say "I don't believe in god". But calling another kid stupid for believing, or deliberately telling them santa isn't real, is just mean and unnecessary.

thisnamechanger · 23/09/2019 14:01

Absolutely

Maybe I was a really cynical kid but even when I was really little I remember thinking no one had given an adequate explanation for how a man flew around the whole world in one night.Also I couldn't get past the fact reindeer don't have wings!

Tilltheendoftheline · 23/09/2019 14:07

They're perfectly entitled to say "I don't believe in santa" the same way they can say "I don't believe in god"

Unfortunately, often that's not what kids do. One says 'he isnt real' rather than 'I dont believe' the other says 'he is'. The first one says 'my mum and dad said he isnt'.

Converstations between kids rarely go 'well personally I dont believe in santa and feel he is just consumerism personified'

Kids saying they dont believe, is fine to me. But thata not how is goes most of the time.

violetswordfish · 23/09/2019 14:08

Make believe is lying. Do you sit your child down and explain what's real and what's not

It isn't lying if the child knows that it's make believe.

And yes. Elephants are real, dinosaurs were real but don't exist any more, and gruffalos are imaginary. It doesn't make dinosaurs and gruffalos any less exciting.

M3lon · 23/09/2019 14:08

I don't get this at all.

Why make up a random stranger coming into your child's room in the middle of the night?

How does this make anything magical?

Why not, if its so amazing, make up all sorts of different made up creatures to do random things during the year and then bitch about people being 'fun sponges' if they don't join in?

I mean personally I think you are all shit parents suckign the magic from your DCs lives because you don't do unicorn night on the 23rd of september. Leaving glittery 'droppings' and rainbow cupcakes in her trail, the annual visit of the unicorn of happiness on the 23rd of sept is surely an essential part of any kid's childhood!

Or not.

Tilltheendoftheline · 23/09/2019 14:09

AlsoI couldn't get past the fact reindeer don't have

They dont need wings. They fly because they have magic, obviously Wink

InsertFunnyUsername · 23/09/2019 14:09

I never said anyone suggested that but it is a an attitude some parents have and that I have seen. Some parents have a weird attitude of not letting Santa take the credit for the presents etc. That I find strange tbh.

Tilltheendoftheline · 23/09/2019 14:10

Elephants are real, dinosaurs were real but don't exist any more, and gruffalos are imaginary. It doesn't make dinosaurs and gruffalos any less exciting.

And what harm does it do if your child believes gruffalos are real?

CheeseCakeSunflowers · 23/09/2019 14:11

I never believed myself as my elder sister told me the truth from the onset, I never felt I missed out. I hadn't intended to tell my dcs but I realised they liked the stories they heard from other children so although I didn't make a big thing about it I went along with the putting mince pies and carrots out etc as they enjoyed it. I ended up going along the line of not telling them lies but not correcting information they heard elsewhere. I actually think a lot of the time its the adults who get the most kick out of the whole santa thing not the children.

thisnamechanger · 23/09/2019 14:11

They fly because they have magic, obviously

Now I'm wondering if I've misremembered the whole thing and my parent did in fact try to convince me Santa was real but becasue I was a nosey little shite they gave up. Grin

"Why" and "How" were two of my favourite words from the get go Grin

I was deeply suspicious about Jesus as well - who my parents were happy to confirm was made up.

wornoutboots · 23/09/2019 14:12

the only issue my kids ever had was when one of their little friends got upset on their behalf that Santa wouldn't bring them presents because they don't believe.

So I explained that we celebrate a few days before Christmas, on the solstice, and that my kids were going to have loads of presents then and weren't being left out. Friend then asked their parents if they could ALSO have solstice AND christmas...

But in essence,explaining that father christmas only goes to houses where they are celebrating christmas in that way was accepted perfectly well by a 4 year old Santa-ist.

all in all, if a 4 year old can accept that we don't all believe the same and that's fine, well it puts some adults to shame....

Deadringer · 23/09/2019 14:12

Gosh none of my DC ever held it against me that I lied to them. I am pretty sure they would be upset if we hadn't done the whole santa thing, they loved it.

thisnamechanger · 23/09/2019 14:12

Elephants are real, dinosaurs were real but don't exist any more, and gruffalos are imaginary. It doesn't make dinosaurs and gruffalos any less exciting

I thought narwhals were made up til about 6 months ago. I'm 32. Blush

LaurieMarlow · 23/09/2019 14:13

I actually think a lot of the time its the adults who get the most kick out of the whole santa thing not the children.

I wouldn’t say that’s true of me, my siblings/cousins and friends who all believed. At all.

M3lon · 23/09/2019 14:13

The most damaging thing is the fact Santa only has presents for good kids.....

A whole lifetime of misery tied up in that little beribboned parcel....especially when the government of the fucking country starts believing that people with no money must basically just be badduns....not worth helping etc.

Meanwhile I am actually quite liking unicorn day as a concept...although it would actually have to happen on April 9th not sept 23rd.

violetswordfish · 23/09/2019 14:15

Why not, if its so amazing, make up all sorts of different made up creatures to do random things during the year and then bitch about people being 'fun sponges' if they don't join in?

This.
What if my child believes in Hogwarts and I expect every other parent to tell their child that Hogwarts is real so it doesn't spoil my kids excitement until her 11th birthday?

Tilltheendoftheline · 23/09/2019 14:15

*Why not, if its so amazing, make up all sorts of different made up creatures to do random things during the year and then bitch about people being 'fun sponges' if they don't join in?'

Have you ever heard of the Easter bunny, tooth fairy etc

Christmas isnt like any other event during the year. It's more universal and a much bigger deal.

If my kid wants to di unicorn day, or their friends were. I could get on board with that.