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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think this won't ruin Christmas?

978 replies

CaterpillarInTheGarden · 23/09/2019 09:14

Mil was saying it won't be long until dc will believe in santa-claus (dc is only 22 months so surely it would be next Christmas not the upcoming Christmas Hmm). I mentioned we were thinking of not doing the whole santa-claus thing and telling him the truth. Mil said how awful I was, and I will be ruining Christmas for my dc and that I'm a very selfish women.

AIBU to think that's a over reaction and it won't ruin Christmas. Any of you not do the whole santa-claus thing for Christmas?

OP posts:
M3lon · 23/09/2019 14:16

We didn't deliberately do or not do Santa....DD came across him in the book 'Stickman' and took an instant irrational dislike to the whole idea. She immediately went to make a No Santa sign for her bedroom.

Its a bit of a creepy concept to be honest - I basically agree with her.

Tilltheendoftheline · 23/09/2019 14:18

What if my child believes in Hogwarts and I expect every other parent to tell their child that Hogwarts is real so it doesn't spoil my kids excitement until her 11th birthday?

Harry Potter was popular. But it hasnt become a yearly tradition to celebrate, wide scale across the globe.

M3lon · 23/09/2019 14:18

tilly I don't see anyone being berated for being a fun sponge for not trying to convince their kids that the Easter bunny is actually real though....

Or anyone putting any major effort in to actually convince kids the Easter bunny is real for that matter.

If Santa had the same 'we collectively pretend its a thing when obviously it isn't' vibe as the Easter bunny there wouldn't be a problem would there?

violetswordfish · 23/09/2019 14:20

And what harm does it do if your child believes gruffalos are real?

Probably not much other than not knowing when to trust what I tell her. But likewise, she doesn't need to believe in gruffalos to enjoy a story or find magic in the world... and she's perfectly OK to tell another child that gruffalos aren't real because a whole load of parents aren't investing their enjoyment of a festival on children believing in gruffalos.

LaurieMarlow · 23/09/2019 14:21

Its a bit of a creepy concept to be honest

In your opinion.

Lots of others get a lot out of it.

M3lon · 23/09/2019 14:22

till also the number of people who have read harry potter is very close to overtaking the number of people who celebrate christmas in the world...and that's not the same as the number who 'do' Santa which will be far fewer.

I think Harry potter may actually be a more famous fictional character than Santa.

Tilltheendoftheline · 23/09/2019 14:24

Probably not much other than not knowing when to trust what I tell her.

It may shock you but my 17 and 8 year old, trust me AND did santa. And we allowed to believe fairies were real. That the tooth fairy was real. Unicorns were real.

Tilltheendoftheline · 23/09/2019 14:25

I think Harry potter may actually be a more famous fictional character than Santa.

I dont think so. Through coco cola most people know who santa is even if not part of their traditions.

And most countries who dont have santa have an equivalent.

InsertFunnyUsername · 23/09/2019 14:26

Who knew Santa could cause all these trust issues in Adults.

DontDribbleOnTheCarpet · 23/09/2019 14:29

When my first child was born, I was incredibly precious about never telling lies to him. I told him a version of the truth, that Santa was a real person who lived a long time ago and who helped lots of poor people and children. After he died, parents carried on with the tradition as a way to remember him. My son was very happy with this and I felt all shiny and virtuous.
However, at school he told his friends that Santa was dead and it was definitely true, Because His Mum Said So . This part was less good.
With all of the others, we haven't really mentioned Santa and certainly don't use him as a threat. They are aware of all the advertising, of course, but don't really care as long as they get presents!

LaurieMarlow · 23/09/2019 14:30

Probably not much other than not knowing when to trust what I tell her.

See, this kind of very literal, black and white thinking is very limited IMO.

My parents ‘did’ Santa. I see that it taught me higher truths and brought me joy.

In no way did it undermine my trust in them. As an adult I appreciate their wisdom.

gamerchick · 23/09/2019 14:31

Who knew Santa could cause all these trust issues in Adults

I know man Grin

Tbh I don't think I could be arsed with the whole drumming it in to young kids that they must not tell their friends that santa isn't real. Lest they become that kid and you that parent who everyone glares at once a year

It's a bit of magic for kids, there's precious little these days imo.

InsertFunnyUsername · 23/09/2019 14:32

I will add though I do not agree with using Santa as punishment or the naughty list and wouldn't use it myself. I understand why people aren't comfortable with that.

MyCatsHat · 23/09/2019 14:32

at school he told his friends that Santa was dead

Sorry but :o :o :o

It's getting worse for poor Santa!

InsertFunnyUsername · 23/09/2019 14:34

be arsed with the whole drumming it in to young kids that they must not tell their friends that santa isn't real. Lest they become that kid and you that parent who everyone glares at once a year GrinGrin

Here comes little Timmy "Well my mummy said...." 🙄

BlokeNumber9 · 23/09/2019 14:34

DD asked me when she was 6 or so whether Santa is real. I thought that, since she was asking and since she was 6, I should tell her the truth.
Wrong move. She was broken-hearted and, 20 years later, never lets me forget it.

Beautiful3 · 23/09/2019 14:34

My mum did this to me. At age 5/6 I used to tell the other kids, it's not real. Because I thought I was doing the right thing. I neverooked forward to nor enjoyed Christmas like my friends did. I have told my two children that santa is real, while they were little. Its fun and magical.

pooboobsleeprepeat · 23/09/2019 14:35

I agree with you. FC is a fictional character in our house- like peppa pig or spongebob. Not a creepy man that sneaks into your house at night.
I felt fc was used against me as a child and I will never threaten my kids with him either.
Don’t even get me started on that —dick— elf or the Santa cam!

gamerchick · 23/09/2019 14:37

DD asked me when she was 6 or so whether Santa is real. I thought that, since she was asking and since she was 6, I should tell her the truth
Wrong move. She was broken-hearted and, 20 years later, never lets me forget it.

The answer to that question is 'well I believe in him' not confirm it isn't. Then when they found out they kept up the pretence for their mother who still believes in santa.

icannotremember · 23/09/2019 14:37

It will only ruin Christmas if someone tells your dc it's ruining Christmas. Every family does things differently- santa, no santa, santa only does the stockings, santa only does the big gifts, etc etc etc. As long as you're all happily celebrating what you want to celebrate and having fun why does it matter?

As for the idea that you must do santa because other people do and your not doing it impacts on them... that's just daft. You tell your dc that everyone believes different things and get on with it, surely?

ColdTattyWaitingForSummer · 23/09/2019 14:38

As others have said you can make Santa as big or small a part of Christmas as you like, and at 2 you don’t really need to say much at all. When I was growing up, and I did the same with my children, Santa brought the stocking presents, but everything else under the tree was from who bought it. A trip to visit Santa can be fun (our local wildlife park had a grotto and you could see the animals - including reindeer - as well as FC and Mrs Claus’ cafe). Nursery or school do lots around the Santa story as well, so I agree with pp’s that you need to think that part through.

ohhelloyou · 23/09/2019 14:42

Wow I have never heard of anyone doing that. Sorry I agree with MIL

Out of interest, what are reasons op?

hanahsaunt · 23/09/2019 14:43

@Don'tDribbleOnTheCarpet - that was our story too. Through four children there has only been one parental hard stare though. For us the story/legend of St Nicholas was told in the context of our Christian faith and we have a couple of brilliant books which they read and reread every Advent. So much less stressful and none of the hand-wringing preciousness that emerges each year as people anguish over telling their 11yo that Santa isn't real.

Isadora2007 · 23/09/2019 14:44

So weird.
It only spoils things when kids find out he is not real- so why don’t more people realise that if they never say he IS real then they never spoil the joy of Christmas.
I didn’t believe in Santa and so Christmas has retained its magic for me and I’m in my forties. My adult children feel the same as me and my younger ones also love Christmas despite knowing that Santa is not an actual real life person.
Christmas and childhood are magical without us adults trying to prove something that is not actually true...

ILoveAllRainbowsx · 23/09/2019 14:44

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