To think this won't ruin Christmas?

[CaterpillarInTheGarden]

Mil was saying it won't be long until dc will believe in santa-claus (dc is only 22 months so surely it would be next Christmas not the upcoming Christmas ). I mentioned we were thinking of not doing the whole santa-claus thing and telling him the truth. Mil said how awful I was, and I will be ruining Christmas for my dc and that I'm a very selfish women.

AIBU to think that's a over reaction and it won't ruin Christmas. Any of you not do the whole santa-claus thing for Christmas?

They also know he wore green and a crown of ivy many years ago but thanks to Coca Cola advertising he now wears red

This is an urban myth, I'm afraid. He did indeed used to wear green; but a soft drinks company wasn't responsible for his evolution into the red-and-white guy.

Frankly, I think it makes you a fun sponge of the highest order.

This.

100% agree with your mother in law !!!! My 18 month old is really excited for santa . Shouts santa every time she sees a decoration or picture . There is enough sadness in the world , its little children that bring the magic to Christmas

I doubt ours ever believed in Santa; living in Germany someone would actually dress up and come round with presents as Santa, and they could see it was their dad or uncle with a fake beard. The whole fun was in playing along and him pretending not to know their names etc. I don't know about "magic", but having Christmas traditions is comforrting and makes you feel part of a group.
I also used to label their presents as being from famous people - "To XXX, love from the Queen" - still do a couple of these now they are young adults, just as a funny tradition.
I remember being very little and trying to stay awake to see if I could catch my dad or grandparents coming in with my stocking. I didn't believe in Santa but it was still exciting and fun.

There was a very magical moment which my mum and uncle gave me when I was six years old: not about Santa, but needing similar suspension of disbelief. I had a very scientific mind, and was fascinated by hot air balloons, having seen them on TV. I wasn't easily persuaded by fairy tales, but they gave me a "magical" hot air balloon ride, and I was almost convinced. They stood me in the laundry basket, lifted it into the air, and told me I was flying really high; I was blindfolded, so I couldn't see that part wasn't really true. They went to a lot of trouble to make it convincing: my uncle lifted the basket, while I had my hand on my mum's shoulder; she ducked down so I thought I was moving upwards. My mum described the tiny houses below me, while moving about a lot, and getting low on the ground while she spoke quietly, so I would think I was a long way above her (actually I was only a foot above the ground). When I was back on the ground and allowed to see again, I found I was in a very different spot from where I had started.

Even though I was only six, I remember how I felt then; I actually felt as if I was flying, but I suspected that they were making most of it up. Somehow I also knew that if I asked what they were really doing, it would spoil the magic, and they would probably never do the trick again; so I didn't ask until some years later. They'd almost forgotten about it by then, but I remembered it very clearly!

I think it's very sad and you are being mean and selfish.

Me and my siblings believe in FC when we were little and I think it made Christmas more magical. We visited FC every year which we loved. We also loved making mince pies to put out for him and leaving a carrot for the reindeers and a glass of milk.

My parents had very little money so our stockings (pillowcases) had things like a shiny new penny, an orange, a chocolate coin, some nuts and maybe something like a doll or game. We loved it all.

We don't have children but when our nieces and nephews were young loved taking them to see santa or talking bout him.

We get a charity come round the streets near Christmas playing carols with a santa sitting on a sleigh and I always rush out to see him and wave. It makes me feel young again and takes me back to our happy childhood Christmases. I am in my 60's

my 3 kids are aware tere isno such thing "it's just a man dressinged up" as one of them said when he was 3.

But I also taught them that we do NOT tell other children that, and I forwarned the teachers so they were ready to smooth it over if anyone had blurted it. It never happened, not even from the one with autism.

I would be absolutely furious with you if your child was in my little ones class and told them Santa wasn't real. Pretty sad you want to ruin your own child's childhood but don't do it for others. You sound a miserable woman.

lol - 'mean and selfish'; 'fun sponge'; 'it's been shit ever since'. Such hyperbole. Make believe is fun - why on earth is it so important that children literally believe (especially when that belief rather raises the question, 'so, how come this magical gift giver is so much more generous to Molly than to Sam, and doesn't visit David at all?')? Doesn't that, y'know, kind of negate the 'magical' aspect?

Your being a miserable old fart for the sake of appearing progressive.

Do you mean you'll celebrate Christmas with dinner and presents from whoever bought them but just not tell them about Santa Claus?

If so, that isn't unreasonable and won't ruin the occasion. It isn't as if you have to tell them that Santa Claus is a pretence, just not mentioning it at all will suffice.

There are plenty of religions who obviously don't celebrate Christmas at all and those kids are fine.

I'm fairly sure ds (4) doesn't believe but I haven't asked out right. In our house Santa only brings the stockings for lots of reasons including family tradition and the fact that I've worked with homeless families and I think it's bad taste for children like my dc who get far too many presents claiming they are all from Santa when another child might only get 1 or 2. We do put a glass of Guinness out and a cookie plus a carrot but he's already commented about the coincidence that daddy and Santa drink the same stuff. We read lots of books about Christmas traditions from around the world, including on about St Nicholas after he fills our shoes with presents (another favourite tradition from my childhood).

My MiL who is mostly lovely has a terrible habit of threatening to phone Santa if any of the kids in the family are bad and I absolutely hate that.

Most of all though, Christmas for me as a child was never a guy in a red suit, it was all the family traditions, the food, the time with people we lived in a different country to the rest of the year. Those things last way longer and thus are ultimately more important so if my dc ask, I'll tell them the truth.

Are you religious OP?

If not you face a number of much bigger myths to come clean about. You will need to explain that the birth of Jesus, the son of God, his crucifixion and ascendence to heaven, the existence of God are all lies. And when someone dies that they don't go to heaven but either get burnt in a big oven or left to be eaten by worms in the ground. I think Father Christmas is the least if your worries.

My children's best friends' Dad died when they were 6 and 4. I chose not to disabuse them of the existence of heaven because I thought there was some comfort in thinking their Daddy was looking down on them and looking out for them and still loving them now and forever. And I knew what I said to my children would very likely be passed on.

Childhood is a magical time and I still love celebrating with my kids and sharing all the stockings and fun if it despite not believing in with Father Christmas of God. I similarly enjoyed Halloween and Fireworks night because my children had so much fun out if them - despite it meaning nothing to me. Rituals and stories, imagination all matter as much as logic.

Oh, a MIL has won over big time today,, and she is honest and truthful ,and all things sensible. !

Rituals, stories and imagination are all important, yes. And none of them requires literal belief. That's the bit people get so hysterical about when it comes to Father Christmas; that's the bit I find weird, and frankly, rather creepy.

We have always presented Father Christmas as a fun story, rather than real. So we don't worry about the wrapping paper being recognised or getting presents in the wrong stocking (which happened one year).

We are Christians so concentrate all the Christmas-iness on the nativity story. The whole of advent is filled with activities, decorations, traditions, songs etc. And the children love it - we just don't major on the stockings and Santa. Our eldest, last Christmas, snuggled up to me after opening her stocking and announced "Father Christmas is my very favourite game" so I don't think we have sucked all the joy out of her life!

I believed. And I mean I REALLY believed for a few years there and I can tell you there is NO other feeling like it. The excitement of birthdays and later Christmases etc. It's not the same.

I guess it won't RUIN Christmas not to have that, but it will take something truly magical away from it I think.

When I worked it out I wasn't traumatised or anything so dramatic. I remember it clearly. It was a little fall of the heart and then I moved on. You know, like a NORMAL person.

As far as I can tell, DD had much the same experience.

Those saying they felt betrayed and lied to etc. I think it likely your problems with your parents run deeper than Father Christmas.

And as for the "I won't lie to my kids" brigade. I guarantee you will. Over the next 2 decades you will lie to them 100s of times for a quiet life. We all do it.
So it irks me that you won't "lie" to bring a child joy, but you almost certainly will to make your own life easier. Huh!

Also Father Christmas RULES ! 🎅

Oh, a MIL has won over big time today,, and she is honest and truthful ,and all things sensible. !

MIL might have won, but she was a bitch about it, and far from sensible.

as most of MN seems to be London based I would have thought that a fair proportion of every primary class would contain children from other cultures that either ignore Christmas, do it differently on different days or are of other religions which tell there children specifically that they do not believe in either Santa or the Christian version of Christmas, do these schools which are very ethnically and culturally diverse where 50% of children have English as a second language really make every child go along with Santa and tell them off if they don't?
Even where we live in a rural largely white area there are a few children that are Jehovah witnesses or Jewish or Muslim you just can't extract these kids from class as you can do Santa or punish them for expressing the views of their own religion there is always always a child that figures it out before they are 6 and will tell others
I have no problem myself with Santa my DD worked it out before 5 but we never made a big deal of it only stockings were from Santa the rest from us or Grandma & grandpa etc, I would not get worked up about another child expressing their views on Santa as if it is something you can't have a view on; classes discuss all sorts of things and different kids have different ideas
Children talk some will say Santa brings everything others just stocking others just 1 present; children are not stupid they soon work out there are several versions

Honestly no idea why you would do that! Totally agree with MIL, the magic of Christmas won't exist because you've taken it away! Yes it will spoil Christmas! Do you not recall the excitement on Christmas Eve of going to bed thinking that Santa will have been by the morning? You sound like a fun sponge x

@Boobiliboobiliboo

I can't work out if you're being serious or sarcastic?

I agree with yr mil

@saraclara how was MIL a bitch and far from sensible?

What kind of a human being acts like you.

Actually I can remember insisting to a couple of kids at school, who were saying there was no FC, that of course there was - my parents couldn't afford the presents otherwise.

And I honestly believed it - I was maybe 6 or 7. It did help that my parents were generally pretty skint - I was well aware of that - but they did still manage FC stockings with nice things in. Everything else was from family - and donors had to be thanked.

I was probably 8 when my father told me the truth, but I'd sussed it out by then. H did impress on me not to tell younger siblings, and I never did. I enjoyed the vicarious magic with them.

Might add that when dd1 was about 8 she told me she knew perfectly well that FC was me and daddy, so I might as well admit it. So I did.

After she was in her 20s, she told me she'd been dying for me to deny it, so she could go on believing a little longer!