To be frustrated by this every weekend

[thepinkp]

H works Monday-Friday and doesn't see us much at all due to commute and working away a lot.. that's fine I'm the dutiful stay at home mum holding this sh*t together and putting the dinner on the table night after night. Come the weekend nothing really changes, I continue the mum role pretty much single handily and this is becoming something that's niggling me! Yesterday he went off to a site meeting that could only happen at the weekend and that took all day pretty much, came back mid afternoon we were already out and about having fun. Today much the same - in fact every weekend is the same if I'm totally honest. I'm sat here kids dressed waiting for him to stop sending work emails so we can get out the house .. it's gone 2pm! He's watched football, rugby and now chosen to sit in his office and 'send a couple of emails' those fatal words. Kids want to be out doing something as do I..! If we attempt to leave without him it causes friction so we potter around waiting.. and waiting. Drives me nuts every weekend!! So AIBU to say put the laptop away and spend some time with us? Or just keep shut .. 😕

[ToPlanZ]

FrauHaribo I read the other thread in full and your comment is utterly disingenuous. That father had taken his children after a huge row whilst the mother was still asleep and did not get in contact despite one of the children being severely autistic. What he did was clearly an attempt to scare the mother in that situation. He hadn't taken his children out on his own before.

You were explained to by the vast majority of posters on the aforementioned thread that he was trying to exert a form of control over the mother and that whilst yes of course he had the right to take his own children out for the day, what his did was both cruel and unusual. The final nail in the coffin of your previous rhetoric was that the father had admitted he should not have behaved that way and the OP firmly told you that you were incorrect about the situation.

Yet here you are on another thread using that poor woman's experience to push more anti woman rhetoric. You'd be well to get a job in Trump's administration with your ability to spin things out of context.

Yes women do have it much much harder than men, we are expected by society to do so much more, yet do it within a narrow spectrum defined by men. We still live in a patriarchy, why don't you spend some time tearing that down rather than other women? I'd suggest 'the most stupid things my ex ever said' thread as a starting point because in the hundreds of posts the level of misogyny and male entitlement on there illustrates quite clearly how far there is to go.

[BenWillbondsPants]

@FrauHaribo. Completely different thread, completely different circumstances (most of which you've conveniently omitted here).

[FrauHaribo]

oh no, don't turn things around and ignore the comments I am talking about!

I am talking about the ones stating that a baby can only be with their mum and so on.

I am the least anti-woman person! That's the whole point! It pisses me off that some women attitude is still to push the idea that babies and children belong to their mothers, that's it's our primary role to look after them, that fathers are unsuitable and dangerous (FFS!).

Yes, the mother is pregnant and give birth. But then it's a choice - stay home with your children as long as you want, or go to work and share childcare or have a SAH dad.

Pushing the idea that a man is unable and unsuitable to look after his own children is outrageous. THAT was my point. Stop twisting my words.

[timeisnotaline]

No one is twisting Frau haribos words. Disingenuous? You were talking about the ops circumstances in that other thread and completely ignoring all relevant facts. There is very little that’s pro women about your comments. In theory it’s great for men to do equal shares once babies are past newborn stage, In practice it doesn’t always work that way and not acknowledging that is not supporting women.

[BenWillbondsPants]

As a couple of posters on the other thread said Frau. You just ignore context to try to get your point across.

You seem to be one of those women who hold men, regardless of circumstances, as God like creatures who can do no wrong. It's embarrassing.

I hate when I see man bashing threads on here but this is not one of them.

[FrauHaribo]

For god's sake I was querying

the poster who said that a father should never take the kids out without waking up the mother first to let her know
the poster who said that a father would never take the kids out without discussing it with the mother first
basically the posters who said that the kids belong to the mother a 5 month old should never be away from his mother for a whole day.
the poster who said that the kids were at risk of being killed by their father! (FFS, and what about the poor mothers with PND who ended up committing suicide with their kids? Would that be more helpful to point out?! I think not)

I also did say, before the OP drip feeding the whole story, that a SAH mum telling her husband who has just been sacked that she was leaving if he didn't find another job was a bit harsh.

So I absolutely stand by the replies I made to the most outrageous comments, most of my posts were not addressed to the OP but clearly addressed to the poster I was replying to.

But if you keep pushing the idea that no under 2 can be left with his dad, don't pretend to be a martyr because someone is listening to you. And don't try to make women feel bad because they are comfortable in going back to work early, or leaving their babies with their fathers.

[BenWillbondsPants]

But if you keep pushing the idea that no under 2 can be left with his dad, don't pretend to be a martyr because someone is listening to you. And don't try to make women feel bad because they are comfortable in going back to work early, or leaving their babies with their fathers.

Again, ignoring context and making it up as you go along. I can't see anywhere on this thread, or the other thread where anyone said that 'no 2 year old can be left with his dad' or that women shouldn't go back to work early, leave babies with their fathers etc. If you can't back your comments up coherently, fair enough, but making things up to suit your narrative is a little silly.

[FrauHaribo]

I queried the general statements made by a few posters, it has nothing to do about the context, but feel free to take my own posts out of their exact context, you are the one not being coherent.
Someone saying things like they are not going out anywhere without telling their husband first makes me react, I can't help it. That's not normal.

I tend to quote the exact post I am replying to, so I can't make it any clearer.

But it's MN, some posters are unable to disagree without calling troll, being abusive, insulting or generally childish. That can only mean I am right if they can't come up with something better. 🤷

[gill1960]

Time for relationship counselling or a new partner

He's treating you all like shit

I wouldn't want to be with a man like your partner ... ignored and emotionally abused.