Without living with the OP and her husband, we don’t know how much down time either gets. We don’t know if she is passive aggressive and rants AFTER he has watched the sports. Perhaps, like my DH, he’s not instinctive and needs to be told. My dad and my FIL are the same. As is my best friend’s husband. I’m straight with mine and tell him to catch up with his programmes later or agree to a start time for activities and stick to them. I tell him to get off his arse and help.
I’m not defending either of them (OP and her DH) because unless we are them we wont see the whole picture. She’s asked for advice and I’ve offered it. I’m trying to be positive and point out that everyone is different. Some spouses are switched on, some aren’t. That’s the human race. If this family/marriage is suffering then action needs to be taken and OP can which advice she wants to follow.
It’s a waste of time and energy to be angry with each other. Draw a line under the past and work on a solution. If it involves regular reminders until it’s instinctive, so be it. If all marriages/families were the same, we’d be in Stepford!
OP my advice to you is to sit down with DH soon, no distractions, work out a solution but don’t expect miracles right away. Suggest he delegates work more, suggest he puts an “out of office” message on his email system to remind senders of office hours. Business owners who promote a healthy work/life balance are more successful.
He might have good suggestions for you too, to balance your own work, childcare and “me time”.
There are a lot of people here angry on your behalf and they’re empathising but not offering realistic solutions/advice.
[ducks into fall out shelter to avoid a blasting!]