To think getting someone’s name wrong is rude?

[KyraLittle]

So I’m having some meetings with someone at work and this week is the first time we’ve ever met.

She got my name wrong once and I corrected her.

This morning she again called me the wrong name.

My name is not difficult.

Unless she is doing it on purpose, no. Why is making a mistake rude?

I don’t think it’s rude necessarily just forgetful and they are not making an effort to remember. I get called by my surname regularly as it’s a common first name also. It’s scattiness rather than rudeness.

Maybe they have a bad memory or just a mental block about it.

It hapoens all the time. You might remind her of someone she knows with that name. It's nothing to take personally.

I work with someone who always gets my name wrong (think Emma when it’s Emily). It’s been over three years now.

Granted I see him about once a month and speak on the phone probably every other week but I still answer to the wrong name.

She may have done it by accident. I’ve had it done to me and I must admit like you I was offended especially when I had told them but I have also been the one to get the name wrong too. Once went on a course and had to buddy up. Kept calling a lady by the wrong name as she was the image of someone I knew. Needless to say she was pretty pissed off at the end!

It is rude!

In a business setting it signals all sorts of negative things, starting with she is not good at detail, accuracy, remembering.

Correct her again. And do keep an eye on the details of any meeting you have. Make sure your notes are good enough to fully refute any errors she may make.

Personally I find it rude when it happens more than a couple of times. I correct them each time no matter the situation, it makes me uncomfortable, so deflect back to them!

I have a very easy to pronounce western name, I have two colleagues who often get it wrong. They both Indianise my name, I’m not even indian!

I also get called Nazim, Nazim is a 50ish 5’2ish skinny asian man who is bald and has a big white/gray beard.

I am 6 foot, heavy built (as in muscle, not fat), no beard, jet black hair and 31 year old asian man.

It’s just a name, don’t sweat it.

Remind her politely, I am sure she doesn’t mean to do it. I have a name that sounds similar to another and would sometimes be called that instead. I know it isn’t intentional so am not offended. I have a mental block about a couple of people’s names and no matter how often I tell myself the correct name I often believe that they are called the incorrect one, I really don’t mean to get it wrong.

Someone at work calls me Paul

I correct him at the start, every time we talk but by the time the conversation is finished he's calling me Paul again. And he says your name alot in a standard chat

I've got no idea what his name is though cos I'm really really bad with names too

If someone who doesn't really matter doesn't remember your name why would you care?

I have a colleague who shortens everyone's name. I corrected her discreetly at first, then increasingly publicly. I've even explained exactly why I hate the abbreviation (abusive ex-step father called me it). They still persist. It's just rude.
"Hello Sci"
""It's Science"
"Oops, sorry Sci."
"Science"
etc

Wrong names (after correcting) can come from -
Rudeness
Forgetfulness
Mental block.

I have trouble with a few really common names - can’t for the life of me work out why. I think I see them in my brain as the same and frequently mix them up.

I have a name which is not unusual. If people get it wrong it’s always the same wrong name. I think my name and that name are linked in some people’s heads and I never think anything of being called ‘egret’ Instead of ‘heron’. I now know it’s a common misremember ce - nothing more.

I saw a colleague I hadn’t seen for a few months - have known him for decades. He came out of lift and I just said ‘hi’ then wrong name. Just took me by surprise and a lot has happened in my life recently and not always operating on full battery.

Or she may just be rude. !

One of my pet hates! My manager always gets peoples names wrong. No matter how many times you correct her. Once, fair enough. Repeatedly, no.

I have a very easy to pronounce western name, I have two colleagues who often get it wrong. They both Indianise my name, I’m not even indian!

Everything you say after this is incredibly fucking rude!? Really, really rude.

And OP, yes, it's rude. It would be rude even if you had a difficult to pronounce rude. It's probably not malicious but still.

I hate it. I know people who insist on calling me by the different extended version of my name rather than the name i've gone by all my life (think Elizabeth instead of Betty).

Starting a new year as a teacher is difficult with pronunciations and preferred names but I think its so important. When I ask kids id they prefer Jessica or Jess they say it doesn't matter but they love it when I make a big deal out it being their name and its very important!

And this is why I'll go to any lengths to avoid saying people's names, and love name badges. But would you expect someone to wear a name badge saying Temple Grandin (autistic)? Then why should I have to wear a name badge saying LifeIs Goodish (face-blind)?

@SimonJT that’s horrible. I would actually have a conversation to HR about that, imagine if they did that to a client!

As an aside is your name Nathan? Or is it Simon and they’re calling you Nazim? I don’t know which is worse. Sorry you work with such wankers.

Wow. You're easily offended. Life's too short for me to get all het up about stuff like that.

I have a Nathan.

What’s his name?
Nathan?
Oh Nat/natty how cute.

Fucking no thanks

@BogglesGoggles It really doesn’t bother me (or Naz!), it isn’t Nathan or Simon. As my mates and I are very childish we use SimonJT for forums etc purely to annoy one of our mates.

Yes it is quite rude if they were already corrected once. My Mother misspelt my DH’s name for about two years. She would send me a text misspelling his name so I would reply containing the correct spelling and she’d still reply with the wrong one! I think she thought I was misspelling my own husband’s name tbh...

I called my child the dogs name today. I often forget names, I just get them mixed up really easily for some reason. People often get my name pronunciation wrong. I can't get worked up about things like this.

Unless it's done deliberately, it's most likely forgetfulness or just for some reason having the wrong name in their head for you. I have a close friend called sara, and another one called Sarah. Depending who I've seen most recently, I often muddle them up. I don't know why, I don't do it with other similar names. I'm glad both are very forgiving of me, but they both know that absolutely no malice is intended.

My daughter is Scarlett, amount of people who say Charlotte then say oh it doesn’t matter it’s similar. No it’s not her name. I get called Alice and Alyssa, similar type name to mine -not my name. I totally get it op x