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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

They buried their cat in our garden!!!

232 replies

OpiesOldLady · 20/09/2019 09:35

We rent our house and we live at one end of a five house terraced row that has a communal garden stretching from one end to the other behind the houses. The gardens havent been seperated just to make it easier to mow. At the back of the garden and going round either side is a fence with shrubbery and bushes/trees in front of it. We haven't lived here long and havent really used our part of the garden much. NDN knocked and introduced herself when we moved in and asked would we mind if her grandchildren played on our bit of garden as well when they come to visit. Of course I don't mind.

Sadly, our ndn's cat was recently run over and killed out on the road. I've just been to peg out our washing and have noticed that they've buried the cat in our garden. Not just a little bit in, but proper under the tree halfway down the edge of our garden. Complete with headstone and flowers.

I can't understand why they would do this. They have trees/bushes in their own garden they could have buried it under, and they didn't even ask!

*WIBU to dig up the deceased moggy and deposit it on her doorstep and tell her to rebury it in her garden?

*Obviously I won't but still..

OP posts:
RickJames · 20/09/2019 14:37

Oh goodness, that is really strange.

I'd suggest a sympathetic word and say whilst you don't mind the little body so much, would they please remove the memorial stone and flowers to their own garden. It's not appropriate that you have them regularly or unexpectedly mourning in your part of the garden.

Imagine if you had a rowdy bbq party or curious children poking at the grave. It would upset them. It can be given the appropriate respect and care in their garden.

I agree that it's quite mad and cheeky on their part.

ZigZagIntoTheBlue · 20/09/2019 14:42

Has op come back to update after speaking to a LL or the neighbour in question? Ive skimmed all 4 pages in horror as I would be v unhappy at someone burying their pet in my garden!

Pamplemousecat · 20/09/2019 14:45

It’s certainly a bit strange but the bile and hatred towards the poor pet is so disturbing I do wonder what the world is coming to sometimes. I tell you what @Drabarni you sound twisted and off your bloody rocker. Is your real name Burke or Hare? People talk of pet owners shoving their love of their pets down the throats of others but I find that’s way more palatable then the selfish obsession people have these days with their precious kids. Allowed to run riot in coffee shops, performance parenting everywhere, helicopter parents in every school!!

Pamplemousecat · 20/09/2019 14:48

On that topic was having a nice child free coffee the other day when a dad sits down with his toddler and decides to have the loudest hand clapping game known to man - it went on and on. And on. All the while smugly glancing round to see if anyone was watching to appreciate his fucking amazing parenting skills! No one cares! I actually could have buried him in the bloody garden.

DriftingLeaves · 20/09/2019 14:50

Allowed to run riot in coffee shops, performance parenting everywhere, helicopter parents in every school!!

What a distorted view you have. I feel sorry for you, your attitude to children is vile and your attitude to animals just daft.

EggysMom · 20/09/2019 14:51

Whether the OP thinks this is a communal garden, or individual unfenced gardens, is obviously one question; but more importantly, does the NDN think it is communal or individual unfenced?

The NDN might be under the mistaken impression that the garden is communal, and therefore won't know they did anything wrong.

TheOrigBrave · 20/09/2019 14:54

Eggy since the NDN asked OP if their grandchildren could play in OP's part of the garden they clearly don't think it's communal.

RIP kitty

caringcarer · 20/09/2019 15:00

I would knock and say you noticed a new grace in your garden and could they explain how it got to be in your garden. I would make them take headstone down.

HeadintheiClouds · 20/09/2019 15:01

I’d be bloody annoyed if someone had done this; but the very first thing I’d do is talk to the neighbour and see what was going on in their head when they decided to do it.
I wouldn’t ask the Internet was I being unreasonable to fantasise about digging the fecker up?!
Op, why the hell haven’t you just asked what’s going on?

TabbyMumz · 20/09/2019 15:01

If I was a landlord I would want to know if there had been a burial in my garden complete with headstone etc, as it might affect future lettings. If the current tenants dont tell them about it, when they leave, there is a danger the ll thinking it was them that did it.

DishingOutDone · 20/09/2019 15:15

I would knock and say you noticed a new grave in your garden yes its definitely one more than was there the other day when you counted ....?!!!

notacooldad · 20/09/2019 15:20

We rent our house and we live at one end of a five house terraced row that has a communal garden stretching from one end to the to the other behind the houses
,mummyoflittledragon

You are assuming it’s a communal garden. You don’t have a copy of the deeds anymore than I do
I just went off the OP.
She said it was a communal garden!
Still a lot of fuss over a buried cat!

123space · 20/09/2019 15:27

Sorry, it's communal in the fact that theres no seperation between everyones garden, but there are clearly defined gardens, with sheds, seating sets etc.
And apologies for misusing the word communal - i just couldnt think of another word that would mean everyone could access each others gardens.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 20/09/2019 15:30

In a later post, she said that communal was the wrong word to use, @notacooldad, and explained that the gardens don’t have fences, so practically speaking, it is one space, but presumably legally it is not.

If it truly was communal, the OP’s neighbour would not have had to ask if the OP was OK with their grandchildren playing in her part.

DarlingNikita · 20/09/2019 15:35

SDTG, I think it's a head-and-brick-wall situation.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 20/09/2019 16:06

True!

notacooldad · 20/09/2019 16:32

In a later post, she said that communal was the wrong word to use, @notacooldad, and explained that the gardens don’t have fences, so practically speaking, it is one space, but presumably legally it is not.
Fair enough, I understand but I cant understand the upset over a cat buried under a tree in an open plan area. I really have put my self in the op shoes as I do on every post I respond to bit I still cant get the outrage.
Oh well!!

Pamplemousecat · 20/09/2019 17:01

This reply has been deleted

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Ohyesiam · 20/09/2019 17:09

I would definitely have a word with them to ask why they chose my bit of land, and to ask them to ask if they want to use it for anything else.

AlwaysCheddar · 20/09/2019 17:11

CFs!!!

Lvsel · 20/09/2019 17:22

No that is rude why not bury the cat in the part of their garden

Pamplemousecat · 20/09/2019 17:27

Nice try @DriftingLeaves. Telling the teacher ????

HotChocWithCream · 20/09/2019 17:35

If someone did this in my garden I’d make them dig it up and make good the land so it was returned to how it was before they decided to buy THEIR pet in it.

There’s no excuse for this.

HotChocWithCream · 20/09/2019 17:36

Bury* not buy

PuppyMonkey · 20/09/2019 17:45

On balance, I think I’d be more upset that my garden wasn’t fenced off from the neighbours —and I’d have to speak to them every time I went out to the shed or etc—