They buried their cat in our garden!!!

[OpiesOldLady]

We rent our house and we live at one end of a five house terraced row that has a communal garden stretching from one end to the other behind the houses. The gardens havent been seperated just to make it easier to mow. At the back of the garden and going round either side is a fence with shrubbery and bushes/trees in front of it. We haven't lived here long and havent really used our part of the garden much. NDN knocked and introduced herself when we moved in and asked would we mind if her grandchildren played on our bit of garden as well when they come to visit. Of course I don't mind.

Sadly, our ndn's cat was recently run over and killed out on the road. I've just been to peg out our washing and have noticed that they've buried the cat in our garden. Not just a little bit in, but proper under the tree halfway down the edge of our garden. Complete with headstone and flowers.

I can't understand why they would do this. They have trees/bushes in their own garden they could have buried it under, and they didn't even ask!

*WIBU to dig up the deceased moggy and deposit it on her doorstep and tell her to rebury it in her garden?

*Obviously I won't but still..

The responses are ridiculous, obviously the neighbour is completely unreasonable. It's your garden. I'd be very careful about just letting it go as with the cf asking to use it for their grandchildren and now this I really think they are starting to make a move on your garden and believe they can use it as they please.
I wouldn't dig up the cat, I'd assume they are upset and not thinking clearly however I would go over and say "I'm really sorry to hear about your cat but I'm upset that you chose to dig up my garden and lay her to rest there. I would prefer it if you didn't go into my garden again and please remove the flowers and headstone as it isn't appropriate."
I'd expect them to show off and say you are unreasonable and cry as if they are this entitled they are clearly not thinking straight but I wouldn't let it go, what next? A bench next to it so they can sit there? Swings for the grandkids, just put a stop to it now.

As for all the "it's not your home it's the landlords" rubbish, it's your home while you are renting it and you are paying also for the use of the garden, that doesn't change anything.

I had a boyfriend once whose parents had a garden set-up like this.

It depends on how everyone views the shared garden - it is all just shared and others think they can 'play' on it too, or do you have your own gardens with just access across. If people in the houses are viewing it differently, then maybe you should all have a chat about what the situation actually is, and come to some agreement. First, perhaps your landlord can clarify the situation.

It's not clear whether it is a genuine communal garden which everyone is expected to share but people have informally laid claim to the bits of garden directly behind their houses OR each house has a section of garden in the deeds, it's just there haven't been fences put up.

I actually think the neighbour shouldn't have buried the cat there irrespective of which of the two scenarios is true. If your section of garden belongs to your landlord as stated on the deeds, then the neighbour has buried their cat on someone else's private property.
If it is a genuine communal garden (I live in a flat with one) there are more than likely rules as to what is and isn't allowed and I wouldn't be at all surprised if there's something about not burying dead animals in it. I'm saying this as I was not allowed to bury my dead cats in our communal garden and had to have them cremated.
Anyway, it's bad form to bury an animal in a communal garden even if there are no specific rules. Maybe if they'd asked every other family living there and everyone agreed it would be ok.
But why did the hell didn't they bury the cat in the section behind their house??

I'm really at a loss as to what I would do in this situation though. I'm a cat lover and would hate to think of someone having to dig up their dead pet. However, I think the headstone does need to go.
I think maybe you need to speak to the landlord and find out about who the garden belongs to and then let them deal with it.

Can't believe the number of idiots on here who think the OP is about to dig the cat up!!!

Hi Jenny.....they are renting. It doesnt belong to them. I should imagine the landlord would want to know about it.

It is weird they chose that spot. Is it really an eye-sore, or are you more bothered about the fact that it feels they are encroaching on you and treating you dismissively? They sound a bit cheeky. We have a neighbour who does little things to take advantage of our kindness - like finding a way to leave his ladder in our garden for weeks, because he does not have a garage. He also erected his fence slightly on our side, so we lost a foot of garden.

After getting some clarification from the landlord about how 'shared' it actually is, you could do something to your part of the garden to claim some visual ownership over it. Plant flowers where the children play or put in some borders or shrubs along the 'border'. And then casually have a conversation about how it's preferable that the children don't use your bit now, due to the plants. Find a way to stop that arrangement with them about the children playing there.

You will feel better about it.

To be fair, if you rent your house, it's not really your garden, is it?

Struggling to see how that makes it fine for anyone who happens to be passing to bury dead livestock and erect gravestones in it?

I rented a house for a few years and I can assure you that didn’t mean I had to meekly allow the neighbours to use it at their leisure.

Dollydaydream....when people refer to them renting, they dont for one minute think it's a free for all for neighbours to do what they like, just that they dont own the garden. They need to tell the landlord.

Tabby What? Tell the landlord that someone's buried a cat in their garden?? The LL won't give a shit.

Probably be annoyed at them wasting their time on such a matter.

No OP. You should definitely ask the neighbour why they did this.

I'd be going round and asking her why she chose to bury her cat in my garden. And I am thick-skinned enough to ask her to rebury it in her own garden.

That’s not being thick skinned. It’s being fucking nasty demanding that somebody dig up their pet, especially as it may be a communal garden.

@everyonecaneffoff - from what the OP has said, it is clear to me that the garden is not communal in the true sense - as in being owned by all the houses, and all the occupiers having an equal right to use the whole space. But there is no fencing/walls/hedges dividing the space up into five separate gardens - hence her use of the word.

@OpiesOldLady - I agree with the posters who have said you should tell the landlord - I cannot imagine that they will be happy about this - the next lot of tenants may not be as willing as you to accept the pet graveyard in their garden!

I honestly dont understand why everyone is belligerent about a dead cat under a tree and a presumably plaque in a communal garden. If it was your own private garden and they secretly climbed over a fence in the middle of the night I might not be impressed but it seems a non issue on the whole.

Exactly. The frothing on here is way out of proportion. You'd think the neighbour had started fracking the OPs garden or something.

I'd be having a face to face conversation - it's unacceptable - your LL may be really peeved about it! They need to relocate their cats grave

The grandchildren probably did it

@HennyPennyHorror
I absolutely would give a shit if this created a shrine on my property. I am a ll btw. I’ve had to deal with neighbours a couple of times thinking they can bully my tenants. Normally it’s to do with parking.

@TabbyMumz
If the ll did ok it, op would have had to be consulted first due to peaceful enjoyment of property clause.

@WeeBitSleepy oh god that reminds me of something my stepmother tried to do. When our last family pet died she wanted to ask to bury it in the garden of our old family home so it could be with our other dead pets (we lived there a long time, rather than us being terrible with pets!) It took us ages to convince her it was a batshit idea. Even then she only agreed not to ask them because we didn't want her to, not because it was a crazy thing to do.

OP, are you sure the neighbour didn't first check with your LL that they were OK with it?

I'm a LL. I would be incandescent. Even if it a "communal garden".

@ghostofharrenhal - the garden is NOT communal. The OP has already said she used the wrong term.

The gardens have no walls/fences/hedges, but each house has its own garden - and the OP's neighbours KNOW this - because they knew they had to ask the OP if their grandchildren could play in HER garden!!

Honestly I would dig it up and deposit it all including the headstone on their doorstep

Enjoy your new found tabloid fame then!
They are obvious BU but doing this would make OP look incredibly nasty and insane to boot.

Wow- I don't quite understand the layout- I read it as the cat is buried by on the OPs bit of garden but underneath a tree thats on the border? Either way its a bit odd of course

But there are some seriously bonkers posts here though- sun touched I think.

Do people seriously think that a Land Lord is going to be bothered. Its a small mammal not livestock as one of the most mad posters stated. There will be dozens of birds, squirrels etc that die and rot away in the garden. Its underground and if the foxes dont get it, then soon it will be a few tiny bones. I can't imagine this headstone is more than a small easily moved plaque. Our garden is home to several much loved cats, a friend small dog (she had no garden herself) , and as far as I know the dead pets of the family we bought from.

Pet graveyards in my experience are loved by kids - i remember lots of goldfish in cigar boxes plus a couple of hamsters and a budgie funeral when I was a child.

I'm a LL. I would be incandescent

I am as well. I wouldn't really give a shit (assuming it's a mini animal style type headstone not an actual mausoleum).

First (unhelpful) observation:

• I would never ever chose to live in a property without boundary fences. Good fences make good neighbors.

Second - a question:

• WHY, would you bury your pet outside someone else's house?

Even if (and it sounds as if the space is already NOT truly communal and a portion could be fenced off by any of the owners suddenly at any time rendering the current free flow impossible) so ... even IF it's a communal space why wouldn't you err on the side of caution and keep your precious animal's grave where it's safe from future plan changes?

I'm a LL. I would be incandescent. Even if it a "communal garden".

Honestly- incandescent! with rage I presume. Can you just explain? Its a cat not a bloody shire horse. It will be back to the earth in weeks - bonkers