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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

They buried their cat in our garden!!!

232 replies

OpiesOldLady · 20/09/2019 09:35

We rent our house and we live at one end of a five house terraced row that has a communal garden stretching from one end to the other behind the houses. The gardens havent been seperated just to make it easier to mow. At the back of the garden and going round either side is a fence with shrubbery and bushes/trees in front of it. We haven't lived here long and havent really used our part of the garden much. NDN knocked and introduced herself when we moved in and asked would we mind if her grandchildren played on our bit of garden as well when they come to visit. Of course I don't mind.

Sadly, our ndn's cat was recently run over and killed out on the road. I've just been to peg out our washing and have noticed that they've buried the cat in our garden. Not just a little bit in, but proper under the tree halfway down the edge of our garden. Complete with headstone and flowers.

I can't understand why they would do this. They have trees/bushes in their own garden they could have buried it under, and they didn't even ask!

*WIBU to dig up the deceased moggy and deposit it on her doorstep and tell her to rebury it in her garden?

*Obviously I won't but still..

OP posts:
Mushypeasandchipstogo · 20/09/2019 13:47

Another LL here who would be furious if someone had decided to bury their pet cat, dog, horse or deceased relative in my garden without permission!

ghostofharrenhal · 20/09/2019 13:48

The gardens have no walls/fences/hedges, but each house has its own garden - and the OP's neighbours KNOW this - because they knew they had to ask the OP if their grandchildren could play in HER garden!!

Fair enough, I would be a bit surprised in this case and maybe ask the neighbour not to do such a thing again, but I really wouldn't be digging it up etc. It's just a dead animal and a small headstone. I would tell the ll though.

Laiste · 20/09/2019 13:52

Hobbesmanc ''Do people seriously think that a Land Lord is going to be bothered. .... I can't imagine this headstone is more than a small easily moved plaque.''

See, the ''easily removed'' plaque is the part which pushes this over into potential neighborhood dispute territory. Which is something a LL should be concerned about really.

Who's going to easily remove it and when and when will they tell the plaque placer? I wouldn't be angry if i were the land lord but i would want to know and i'd be happy to try to help my tenant out without falling out with the neighbors.

Laiste · 20/09/2019 13:55

And - if i were the OP (or the landlord) i'd say to the neighbor that the cat grave can stay, but i'd ask that the plaque headstone physically visible bit could kindly be kept on the cat owners actual bit of the garden.

DriftingLeaves · 20/09/2019 13:57

I'm a LL and I'd be furious. I'd insist it was removed along with the ridiculous decorations.

notacooldad · 20/09/2019 14:01

notacooldad IT IS A PRIVATE GARDEN

(Yes, I'm shouting*)
It's a rented communal garden
The issue isnt even worth shouting about. It sounds like in a discrete place under a tree- so what!

BrokenWing · 20/09/2019 14:02

I'm a LL. I would be incandescent. Even if it a "communal garden".

I'm a LL and I'd be furious. I'd insist it was removed along with the ridiculous decorations.

Is that because you don't need to live next to them and hope to keep amicable relations with your ndn? I'd happily tell the ops ndn to remove her cat too. It is much harder when you actually live there.

MerryMarigold · 20/09/2019 14:03

I'm an LL and I wouldn't give a fig. I'd leave it up to my tenants to decide if they wanted to tolerate it or not. Quite frankly, as long as the garden isn't covered in waist-high weeds, why would a landlord care that there's an animal buried there?

Cloudyapples · 20/09/2019 14:03

If you rent then you need to tell the landlord about this

DarlingNikita · 20/09/2019 14:04

It's a rented communal garden rented or not is irrelevant. And no, it is not communal. Have you not read the OP's posts properly or are you just failing to comprehend?

It sounds like in a discrete place under a tree- so what! It was not the OP's cat but it is under a tree in the OP's garden.

Again, I'm not sure whether you're being deliberately obtuse or genuinely failing to comprehend.

MerryMarigold · 20/09/2019 14:04

And as a cat owner, I really wouldn't want to ask anyone to dig up their dead pet. I may show I wasn't happy about it (if I was bothered) and ask them not to do it again, but I really wouldn't make someone dig up a dead pet. What is the world coming to?

TriDreigiau · 20/09/2019 14:05

because they knew they had to ask the OP if their grandchildren could play in HER garden

I wondering if that's blured ownership line in neigbours heads.

Happened in DH family - there's a ranty story about how they had permission to keep chickens on adjacent back garden - which was fine for years till some fox attacks then without seeking further permission they put fences up on neigbours land.

Neigbour asked for it to be removed got told why it was there -chickens needed them -over and over they resorted to solicitors letters. DH family can't see what they did wrong to this day Hmm.

AlexaAmbidextra · 20/09/2019 14:07

This reply has been deleted

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TheDarkPassenger · 20/09/2019 14:09

Well my dog would dig it up in seconds.

I’m not sure what I’m suggesting though
I honestly don’t know what I would do. I’d probably leave it for a while then quietly get rid of the creepy headstone and say nothing.

And obviously silently fume

fancytiles · 20/09/2019 14:09

As it's a rented property it's not technically your garden, so I would do what a poster said above and dis-associate your feelings but go round and ask them if they got permission from your landlord to do this, and if so, why did the landlord not mention it to their current tenants ie you...

At the end of the day, you don't want to be penalised by your landlord when you move out for the headstone being there as it wasn't your cat so I would just explain this to the neighbours and try to understand where they are coming from... as someone else said it could be that the cat loved that spot... but they still should have asked your landlord and yourselves.

TriDreigiau · 20/09/2019 14:13

I'd honestly leave it to the landlord to deal with - they are ones who will have to deal with any long term implications - like land boundaries not being respected or it putting off any future tennats.

They may be fine with it - they may have already given permission - they may want to talk to neighbours about it all.

Laiste · 20/09/2019 14:15

@DarlingNikita

It's funny isn't it, how tolerant people are when it's stuff happening to someone else Grin

I'd be fascinated to know the reaction by Notacooldad to someone in real life actually burying their pet in his garden without asking. Especially with the blinding excuse ''it's ok 'cos it's under a tree ...'' Grin

BearsOnTheStairs · 20/09/2019 14:18

YANBU. It's cheeky. The only reason they buried it in yours is because they didn't want it messing up theirs but wanted to bury the cat close. Of course they should have asked you, it's a basic courtesy.

She recognises that individual houses have individual gardens that happen to not have dividing boundaries placed on the top, by asking you if I was OK if her DGC played on your garden when they visited. So by the same token, she will definitely recognise that it's your garden, not hers nor any "communal" garden that she has chosen to bury the cat in.

PP saying "perhaps it was the cat's favourite spot".. with all due respect, and as a committed cat owner, you can't just bury your cat where they sometimes liked to sit (if that's the case and I bet it's not anyway). I think PP are biased in favour of the neighbour because OP's property is rented not owned and also because the garden happens not to be boundaried even though it is recognised they are individual plots. It's still not on. Would those PP be happy if a neighbour buried a pet in their own back gardens? I bet not.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 20/09/2019 14:19

@notacooldad - it is not a communal garden, and the OP has already said she was wrong to call it that.

Each house has its own garden, but there are no fences/hedges/walls dividing the space up - but presumably the boundaries do exist on the deeds of each house.

As I said to another poster - the OP's neighbours asked if their grandchildren could play in HER garden. If the garden was communal, the neighbour would not have had to ask this permission.

DarlingNikita · 20/09/2019 14:21

Grin Laiste

Also, I don't know why people are being such twats about the OP renting the house.

Mummyoflittledragon · 20/09/2019 14:24

@notacooldad
So bloody what if it’s rented. Does that mean the op has less right to care? Or that the ll has less right to care? You are assuming it’s a communal garden. You don’t have a copy of the deeds anymore than I do. As the neighbour asked permission to access the garden behind the house op is renting, it is, however, fair to assume it’s not communal. Just no fences. And as several people have stated, even if it is communal, a marked animal grave is unacceptable, especially without the agreement of residents.

WhoWants2Know · 20/09/2019 14:28

I'm not sure it would bother me personally if it was at the side and outfoxed the way. But I don't think my landlords would be too pleased, and I would have to let them know.

123space · 20/09/2019 14:30

*It's not a communal garden!
*
Christ do people seriously not read the thread or the op's posts.

Laiste · 20/09/2019 14:32

@DarlingNikita

Oh don't even START me on that!!

:)

MerryMarigold · 20/09/2019 14:36

Also, I don't know why people are being such twats about the OP renting the house.

I agree. And I don't know why LLs are 'incandescent with rage'. Why do they care? A dead animal is not going to leave a lasting legacy in the garden. Rents are high. It is basically the tenant's garden to use/ look after on a daily basis and if they don't like it, fair enough.

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