How would you feel if you received this email?

[SamCam349]

Is this (below) a nice email to receive? What would you think of the sender who wrote it??

‘I will reluctantly speak to you next Tuesday to attempt to address your discriminatory actions. As I mentioned last week, I, personally, do not consider you to be that important, and I would not be entertaining this call were your manager not also be participating.’

At first I didn't know why OP was asking how she should feel, surely you own your own feelings? But then I took the update you mean that the OP is the sender and is wondering how it will be received. Either way it's not a nice email, and I can't see the meeting going well!

Very unprofessional

No, you're not being at all unreasonable, and you should show this to your manager and anyone else involved.

If I knew I was making a good case, I’d love it. I’d print it off and bring it in to show the people involved how this person is approaching the situation. They are idiotic for putting this in writing.

In what way, shape or form did you think that was an acceptable email to send?!?!

Are you the sender?
It is a HORRENDOUS email. Do not send it.

If you want the sentiment to remain the same then fine, but reword it so you don't look like a totally incompetent and mean person.

What a strange post.
Of course it's not nice. Obviously it's not intended to be nice.
The sender is mightily pissed off with the recipient - the recipient shouldn't be expecting "nice" emails if they have offended someone to the point where it has been escalated like this.

OMG it’s an awful email!

Incredibly rude and very unprofessional.

Quite honestly I would expect the person sending it to be disciplined/sacked.

No matter how awful the email recipient has behaved the (I presume) manager sending the email should behave in a professional manner!(albeit maybe a bit frosty if really awful behaviour of the email recipient)

I don’t understand why you aren’t giving us more details?

It sounds like you discriminated against someone in the workplace and they made a complaint to HR dealing with it, this person is being forced into a conference call with you and your manager. They clearly don't want to deal with you or work with you after your discriminatory behaviour. Your manager must agree that you discriminated against them so is trying to facilitate a call to clear the air and have you apologise. Really, HR should be dealing with you and this person shouldn't be forced to speak to you when the wounds are still raw and they are still seething over what you've done.

@SamCam349 any chance you’re going to explain what’s going on?

What is the point OP of coming on here and fucking about like this?

I think you sent that email and it’s hard to understand why on earth you would need to canvas opinion on whether the email was ‘nice’.

Ah I see from your update that in fact you sent this e-mail.

Yep, it was unprofessional, and whatever this other person has done, you've not helped yourself at all and come across rude and childish. HR/managers will now see you both as a problem to be dealt with!

OP you must be a really strange colleague to have. You must drive people mad! Anyone would think you'd had that glass of wine already.

But without context it's impossible to say. On the surface it's not a nice e-mail but maybe it's justified depending on what the recipient has done.

The OP’s update didn’t really shed any light the situation.

Why would you need to ask if it’s nice? It’s very clearly not nice and it’s very clearly not intended to be nice. You don’t need anyone else to tell you that surely?

The fact that the email is so incredibly peculiar puts the claim of victimhood in doubt in my mind.

The fact that the OP's main worry is whether it's nice suggests she's probably got her priorities just as twisted as the writer of the email.

The wording of the voting instructions in the OP's second post make it clear the op received the mail IMO. The instructions are to vote YANBU if the email is "not nice".

It's very odd and I really only checked back on the thread to see whether the OP had clarified the back story instead of posting additional meaningless non updates.

I'm inclined to suspect both parties involved in the email exchange are as bad as each other for creating drama about whether or not co-workers are sufficiently "nice" to them, and that the manager is probably only going to stir a storm in a tea cup by moderating a telephone exchange between them!

I'm glad I don't work with any of the people involved!

It's a challenging email, certainly.

It reads like the author feels the allegation is fatuous/malicious. Without backstory it could well be

Regardless of the circumstances, this is a terrible email to send to anyone. Unprofessional and terribly written. It sounds like the work of a child.

Did you really need MN to tell you that?

I don’t know anyone who would write ‘I don’t consider you that important’ to a colleague. I can only imagine what HR would make of that.

If you are the receiver, you’re right to be very annoyed. Take it straight to HR.

If you are the sender, you should be ashamed.

The balls of the author to put that in writing though!

Looks like they’re both on their way out of a job really

It reads like the author feels the allegation is fatuous/malicious. Without backstory it could well be

It could well be, but it still doesn’t make it ok to say you don’t consider the person to be that important

and the writer put it in an email too - a paper trail. What a fool. 🤦🏻‍♀️ You can think what you bloody want, but putting it in writing and sending? Sackable.

The balls of the author to put that in writing though!

I have historically been a total wee gobshite from behind the safety of a computer screen but even I would hesitate to describe a work related colleague (?) as “not that important”, especially in two correspondences a week apart.

Grey rock is the best approach.