How would you feel if you received this email?

[SamCam349]

Is this (below) a nice email to receive? What would you think of the sender who wrote it??

‘I will reluctantly speak to you next Tuesday to attempt to address your discriminatory actions. As I mentioned last week, I, personally, do not consider you to be that important, and I would not be entertaining this call were your manager not also be participating.’

It's not intended to be "nice". Someone is being forced to speak to the recipient (you?) who they feel has behaved in a discriminatory manner to them.

In the scenario suggested you wouldn't expect them to be "nice"

Unprofessional, rude and written by someone not very bright whose friends have convinced or agreed with them they are right and their colleague is a cunt who is discriminating against them.

I am on the train, on my way to work. I guess a steep glass of red would be in order this morning!!!!

Alternatively you could provide even a modicum of context but that looks as unlikely as a 2nd referendum at this point.

If you are the recipient OP I wouldn't worry.
The message as worded shows the sender to be very rude, very arrogant and very personal.
The fact that management rather than HR are involved suggests its from a client rather than an employee.
Push it up the line and don't worry.

I agree that “Nice” vs “Not nice” isn’t the right question here really, and wonder as well if there’s a language issue here.

The email reads as unprofessional and immature; and the sender risks being seen as aggravating matters even if they are the victim, and it could be spun by a clever person as not discrimination, but simply dealing with a hostile colleague, using the email as evidence.

In my view, when someone goes out of their way to tell someone that they don’t care about them, then they actually care a lot!

Please come back and provide context, OP. If you sent the email, we can help with your situation; if you were the recipient, we can help with that too!

Wow. Talk about not giving a damn about people under you. Terrible terrible attitude.

I'd thing whoever sent it was a total prick.

HTH.

I didnt read it as being about someone under you, I read it as being about someone more senior.

I'm very surprised at some of these responses. The sender is saying they believe the recipient to be discriminatory. That has levels. Who knows what the recipient has done, of it it's true, but I wouldn't expect some one to make nice if they were being discriminated against.

I'm fairly sure if the sender posted and said the reciepent did x y and z to me, and now I have to talk to them, the responses would be to send worse than this.

Right now there is no context. So it's difficult to judge.

Bad email OP

One of my part-time jobs is note-taking for HR meetings and this email reminds me of some of the issues I have observed. It's likely to be a squabble between two individuals at a similar (fairly low) level rather than one being the other's line manager or senior in any way.
The sender could well be the sort of whinyarse who is borderline incompetent or thoroughly lazy but starts bawling about 'discrimination' every time they are pulled up on bad work, however civilly. The recipient could be an officious, bullying fuck who has been picking on the sender in a way that strongly implies it's the sender's ethnicity/religion/sexuality/disability that the recipient dislikes rather than the sender's performance at work.

But both management and HR will be wishing, fervently, that there was a policy which allowed them to say 'How about we just bang your bloody heads together?'

OP you are creating a whole load of drama without providing any context. If this is how you operate on a daily basis I'm not surprised that you are in this position!

Bluntness100 I don’t agree that the advice would be to send worse. If it’s a work situation, the advice is usually to remain absolutely professional if you've been the target of something; especially if management are already involved and dealing with it. So the advice would be either to not send an email at all and wait for the meeting; or to send a completely professional email not including anything that could be construed as a personal attack.

Work emails don't have to be 'nice' so your question was a bit spurious. I'd never stop to think if a work email was nice or not. I'd think was it professional and clear.
The part that tips it into unprofessional is the 'I do not consider you to be that important'. If you have to have a meeting about them or their actions then they're obviously important enough to merit a meeting. But context is key.

I read it as someone has potentially been discriminated against (or at least feels that is the case) and is very aggrieved. They have been pushed/encouraged into a meeting with the person they feel has discriminated against them.
They don’t want to engage with the other person but has to because the other person’s manager will be there.

It could be just inappropriate squabbling and power games but could also be a nasty case of discrimination. Impossible to tell.
Either way, it needs addressing and a meeting seems the most sensible way forwards unless a formal grievance has been raised.

The email is very poorly worded but might be written from a position of being hurt or bullied. I’d want to know more what underpinned the email being sent before focusing on the tone of the email.

Its not a very nicely worded email but it makes me wonder what has gone on to warrant such words

I'd laugh I think, and I'd be looking forward to seeing them on Tuesday. It's a ridiculous email to send.

I would put on record that I was happy to discuss my alleged discriminatory actions. Turning up to this meeting without saying that is a tacit agreement to the claim that you have been discriminatory.

What a faux coy question 🙄 Clearly the email is rude/ not nice/ not professional but we don’t know whether it was deserved or not!

OP how difficult is it to say if you sent or received this email?

The email is confusing and poorly constructed.

Your AIBU is also confusing and poorly constructed.

Some might draw links between those two facts.

But anyway, it doesn’t matter if it’s ‘nice’ or ‘not nice’ unless you are both 11.

Why don’t you explain what’s going on and you might get some useful answers?

Clearly we need the back story!!!!

it’s an appealing email and the sender is not professional in any way - what did you do op - what is backstory?? Person who sent it sounds like an asshole who thinks too highly of themselves too. No one should speak like this to anyone. Back story is needed.

@SamCam349 please explain who you are this email and what happened?

The email is not professional whatsoever and is rude