How would you feel if you received this email?

[SamCam349]

Is this (below) a nice email to receive? What would you think of the sender who wrote it??

‘I will reluctantly speak to you next Tuesday to attempt to address your discriminatory actions. As I mentioned last week, I, personally, do not consider you to be that important, and I would not be entertaining this call were your manager not also be participating.’

How could you think that was OK to say to a colleague OP?

Apparently she said it twice. Which most people seem to be overlooking.

Maybe it was the repetition that sunk her? ¯\(ツ)/¯

Why on earth would you have sent that email? No matter what has happened there is never any need to send an email like that. If you're angry write an email getting it all out and then delete it and write a new one.

It is so so rude, unprofessional and badly written.

I'm sorry you were fired, but sending an email like that I'm not remotely surprised you were.

When does OP have the paperback coming out?

OP, have you been discriminated against, and do you think you got a fair hearing today? It's a shit email but presumably there's a back story.

Stop asking for a backstory

The OP is loving this attention and will never say

I’m sorry to hear about your work situation, OP. Possibly start another thread in a different area of the site, and people will be able to provide support and advice on how you may be able to challenge the dismissal? Or at least emerge with an agreed reference? And don’t be too hard on yourself, for God’s sake. It wasn’t the wisest email, but loads of us have made mistakes, and it’s not like you went in and garrotted someone. It is, after all, just an email.
In the meanwhile make sure you have real life support, and if you think you are depressed, consider seeing your GP - they really can help.
Good luck!

Hi OP.
You obviously don't want to share the circumstances which is fine but can I suggest that you need to:

• Make sure your company have followed their procedures (eg the disciplinary process) to the letter.

-Consider options such as appealling the dismissal. Without the background I don't knkw whether that's a good idea but it's an option.

• Contact your debtors ASAP to tell them what has happened and look at options with them. It's not in their interest to let you struggle unnecessarily. The sooner you talk to them the better.
• Contact employment agencies. They tend to be more flexible with references and will often accept personal ones.
• Think about anyone who would be willing to give you a reference. Sometimes employers will accept references from colleagues, not just managers.
• You will need to come up with a reason why you were let go. Don't lie, future employers will find out anyway and it will cause you stress. Think about a truthful explanation and take responsibility for anything you did (don't sound bitter or play the victim) but also identify what you've learned and changed as a result. Approach it from a self development point.
• When you are mentally in a better place, think about what got you into this situation. It may have something outside of your control so think about how you could have done things differently or if it was your behaviour, then what can you learn from it.

If you do decide to post about what happened, you might get more specific advice but do be careful what you post as you don't knlw who is reading.

So we don't know what the discriminatory 'actions' were.

Why did you say you wouldn't be entertaining this 'call'? Did the other person call you?

Very fucking frustrating reading this shite tbh.

I wish people hadn't piled on OP. Voting was enough you didn't all need to add lots of strong comments.

I'd love to hear the backstory, OP.

We all screw up sometimes. The people pretending not to are deluded. Tomorrow is a fresh start.

No one here is pretending that people never screw up. This is not a normal screw up. No one with a shed of common sense would send email like that

You sound awful sending that message tbh.

We’ve all written badly judged emails. I’ve done it and upset people too. Never meant to and thankfully never lost a job.
Stay strong and move forward. You will find another job. Be pragmatic. Look at what you need to earn to pay the bills and find anything suitable. It might be a whole new happy chapter! Good luck.

I read it that the recipient is the person who did the offensive things

‘I will reluctantly speak to you next Tuesday to attempt to address your discriminatory actions. As I mentioned last week, I, personally, do not consider you to be that important, and I would not be entertaining this call were your manager not also be participating.’

I'm so sorry that you've been fired, but I do think this is far harsher than you perhaps realised. It's genuinely a 'sharp intake of breath' email.

If a meeting has been arranged by a manager correspondence should go thru them. Consult your union

There is always a neutral, non inflamatory 'corporate speak' for tricky situations OP. Words like 'concerned' or 'disappointed' & 'I'm looking forward to reaching a mutually beneficial resolution' are the usual ones. It's also good to avoid personal digs re status or character. Mistakes can be learnt from.

Consult acas and your hr department

Some posters here (at least, before OP announced she'd been fired) suffer from what I call the "rational fallacy": the idea all people are rational really, and when they do irrational things (like send emails calling others unimportant) then it must be because someone provoked them, because rational people wouldn't do such things without extreme provocation.

Turns out some people are irrational and do stupid and irrational things.

I hope you're ok. We all do things we regret - it seems very harsh that they fired you on the basis of one email. We don't know any context but is there a chance it's unfair dismissal....?
On the face of it, you were rude to a colleague. But from what you said in the email, they had perhaps been rude to you too. Calling someone unimportant wouldn't usually be a sackable offence.

In the worst case scenario at least you will get job seekers allowance. Perhaps you have a previous employer who can provide a reference instead?

There is no chance op could claim unfair dismissal.

Interesting first post op. Did you join mumsnet for this?

It sounds like you've been having trouble with your own manager. Faced disciplinary action over something you feel was discrimination. Ongoing sickness? Unprofessionalism of some sort. Whatever it was, that email was the final straw, not the first one.

Calling someone unimportant wouldn't usually be a sackable offence
It's bullying and may well be a sackable offence of it falls within their definition of gross misconduct. I would be extremely uncomfortable keeping someone on who spoke like that to another staff member, or to anyone at all. In a probation period (realistically the first two years), or if they already had written warnings, very few managers would keep them.

Pointless asking I guess but what did the recipient do to you that had upset you so much?