To find out who snitched on me?

[Mitzicoco]

So I went to pick the kids up from school today. I was quite early well actually 20 minutes early so had a quick kip in the car. I was awoken by the deputy headmaster who wanted to speak to me so I went with him to his office and he said that there were some safeguarding issues regarding my children. To cut a long story short whereby my nanny got involved in all of this by being there and my children getting confused on what day she was there, somebody reported me on Monday or Tuesday of smelling of alcohol. I have not drunk anything at all. I am meeting the headmaster tomorrow to discuss this as a safeguarding issue. Am I being unreasonable in wanting to find the fuck out who reported me? And then giving them a piece of my mind?! I would never ever drink anything at all if I was driving. I cannot Think why somebody reported me. Were they being malicious? Nosy? Bored? Do they realise the impact this has on me? I am seriously pissed off.

For gods sake OP what on earth are you rambling on about.

@peardrops1

I'm still confused about this entire story: how did the Deputy Head know the OP was sleeping and why did he choose to go and confront her by banging on the car window, why the OP decided to have a nap in her car and what the kids getting the nanny day mixed up has to do with anything.

Nope.... lost me at the end of the first sentence...

Was the complaint that you smelled of alcohol, or that you seemed drunk (slurred speech?)

A few years ago My husband was on a day out with our son, he was due to get home around tea time, however there was a huge crash involving an oil tanker. As a result they were stuck in traffic for several hours, before being diverted which in itself took several hours. Our son is autistic and was becoming very anxious/ overwhelmed as well as hungry! They stopped at our local chip shop and my husband bought two fish suppers, paid and headed home. My husband was just about to eat his dinner when there was a loud knock on the door. Two policemen who had been called by the owner of the chip shop- as he had witnessed my husband trying to calm down our very upset ds and also was concerned that my dh had very slurred speech and may have been drinking (I have told my dh for years that his speech slurs when he is exhausted). I explained that they had been stuck in traffic for hours, that our autistic ds was very distressed due to this and that my dh was just exhausted. They were very sceptical saying he was clearly drunk to them- thankfully he took a breathalyser which showed he had zero alcohol in his system. They were very apologetic and laughed and told my dh that he should listen to me in future as I was right he does sound drunk when he is tired! I thanked them and asked them to pass my thanks on to the reasonably concerned owner of the chip shop- I was grateful that he had been looking out for my ds.

Could this be similar? Are you exhausted at the moment? Could you be slurring your speech due to exhaustion OP?

Goodness there are some picky, sneery people on MN tonight. It's almost as if you take pleasure in being unhelpful and snide.

If you read the op's posts you will see that she is dyslexic (and probably stressed).

OP, do what youarenotkiddingme suggests. It will be fine.

It will be fine, but it's a horrible thought that someone would do that. Hopefully it was out of misguided concern and not done out of malice (that's why I was asking if you've had any problems with anyone from the school)?

Is it just me that’s wondering how the deputy head knew a) you would be outside in your car 20 minutes before pick up and b) exactly where you would be? Or did you park outside his window? At my DCs primary you could be parked anywhere on the neighbouring 7/8 streets!

Also, this sounds like something they’d phone you about or just wait until they saw you in the playground at pick up. Rather than prowl the streets on the offchance of finding you.

Wonderful dedication to the job at that school.

So your child got muddled about the days the nanny works, which children do all the time, and someone thinks they might have smelled alcohol on you and the deputy head came out to talk to you, Is there more to this OP?

I know my headteacher can recognise a few parents cars and would go out to talk to them by the gate to avoid people listening in on the playground, but they are the families that are well known, either because the child needs extra support, they are that parent or because there are a lot of concerns.

If there is't anything more to this and you answered calmly nothing will happen, the school just have a duty to check whats going on.

What's with all the sneering? Especially about napping in a car while waiting for kids? Nothing wrong with that.

Huh?!

Is it just me that’s wondering how the deputy head knew a) you would be outside in your car 20 minutes before pick up and b) exactly where you would be?

Does it matter? He might have happened to walk by, another parent might have told him, he might have been on the lookout for OP.

Does it matter? He might have happened to walk by, another parent might have told him, he might have been on the lookout for OP.

Fucking hell, can a mind not wonder ^anything€ these days? Christ.

Do people really say ‘snitched on?’

Wonder whatever you like, Joxer, but if you bother to post a question, expect to be answered. Especially when it's one that comes perilously close to troll hunting.

Nothing wrong with napping in the car. Sometimes I nap during my lunch break in the car. I'm tired and I don't care what people think

It’s really not looking good for you. Asleep in your car, wanting to confront someone who was concerned someone with alcohol was around your children.

If someone was around my children smelling of alcohol I would want to know who it was!!

I suspect you drank the night before and stank of alcohol.

I’ve known female alcoholics and drunks and they will say anything to justify their behaviours. Blaming everyone else around them is quite common.

Just breathe OP.

Meet with the headmaster and try and remain as calm and focused as possible. I know it's upsetting and rightly so. You'll get it sorted. State your case and that you're unsure where this accusation has come from and let them know it is not true. Go from there.

Good luck.

*Yesterday 21:54peardrops1

I READ THE TITLE AND THOUGHT THIS WAS THE FISH-FINGER THIEVING DINNER LADY.

So disappointed now.*

I'm disappointed it was a DINNER LADY!! She should know better than to eat in the kitchen/serving area!!

I assumed it was someone on the school side of things when I read that thread

im shocked so many have an issue with napping in the car
I do regularly, if im tired, why not? it hurts no one.
At school pickup even if i was awake i wouldnt be jumping out the car to go mingle, id be sitting on my phone

I think most people would be a least a little miffed about being reported.

Giving the person a piece of your mind certainly wouldn't help you though. You would likely never know why they did it anyway. Of it was malicious, they're hardly going to admit that. They may have had genuine concerns for whatever reason, and not be doing it to upset you. And of course anyone with genuine concerns should always report them

squeakums: ...id be sitting on my phone
.......
Sounds uncomfortable :-).

If you haven't or hadn't been drinking, you've nothing to worry about, op. It's horrible to think someone might have been talking about you in that way for whatever reason and I can understand how you feel but don't stoop to their level in revenge.

Tomorrow is another day.

Meanwhile .