To find out who snitched on me?

[Mitzicoco]

So I went to pick the kids up from school today. I was quite early well actually 20 minutes early so had a quick kip in the car. I was awoken by the deputy headmaster who wanted to speak to me so I went with him to his office and he said that there were some safeguarding issues regarding my children. To cut a long story short whereby my nanny got involved in all of this by being there and my children getting confused on what day she was there, somebody reported me on Monday or Tuesday of smelling of alcohol. I have not drunk anything at all. I am meeting the headmaster tomorrow to discuss this as a safeguarding issue. Am I being unreasonable in wanting to find the fuck out who reported me? And then giving them a piece of my mind?! I would never ever drink anything at all if I was driving. I cannot Think why somebody reported me. Were they being malicious? Nosy? Bored? Do they realise the impact this has on me? I am seriously pissed off.

Am I the only one who expected someone to say 'Snitches get stitches...?'

Do you ever drink? I'm wondering why they think your a drinker

I’m sorry but The scene I’ve got in my head is like something out of a comedy. You lying snoring catching flies in your car and Next second the deputy head hammers on the window.

YANBU

Could you have diabetes? Ketones on the breath can come from drinking or diabetes.

Or do you drink sugary drinks, especially red bull? That smells very similar on some people.

If you haven't been drinking over the limit - and been proved to be - it's not an issue, but it always feels horrible to be told someone has safeguarding concerns, also an idea that someone said you smelled of alcohol. Stay calm when you go in to see the Head and breathe. Ask him to explain why you've been called in and what his concerns are. Take a notepad with you and say 'I'm just taking notes.' - it'll help you focus your answers. Until you know what he's talking about and what his concerns are you can't really know what to say, but just listen and answer as you feel is right. One of the kids may have said something they need to check out - it happens all the time in schools. Tell him you're glad he's taking his safeguarding duties seriously but if when he says his concerns you think he's got it wrong, just tell him directly and say it must be a mistake. Don't fire off on all cylinders trying to find out who said what, but once it's cleared up, ask in a straightforward way and say it's not pleasant to be accused of something you haven't done. Have you someone who can go with you for moral support? It'll probably turn out to be something and nothing - a mix-up.Schools have to follow up on these things. And as for having a nap in the car - most people do this at some point when they're waiting. It'll all come out in the wash.

Being reported is not funny.
Most people are dismissive and say 'oh don't panic' but if it happened to you, believe you me, you wouldn't like it. Or be so dismissive.

Take someone with you. To take notes. Please don't go on your own.

It seems that someone thinks there is a problem. If you have done nothing wrong surely you will come out of this without a problem.
It may have looked suspicious that you were asleep in a car especially after someone saying you were drunk but if you were not drunk then they can't prove you were.

However in this thread, you have come over as if there is something wrong, maybe not drinking but perhaps very over-stressed.
Think about tackling this with a lot of calmness.

Gosh, I'd be mortified if someone, anyone caught me napping in my car nevermind my children's teacher

You will have to deal with the reality of the situation. Someone has reported a safeguarding issue regarding your children. The relevant authorities have to follow this up.

If you are innocent of the accusation say so, but also be aware that you and your children will now be monitored in some way. This is a good thing as if you are having issues with alcohol or other addictions you will probably not admit to it due to the fear you could lose your children.

If as you say the accusations are unfounded there will be no issue with any monitoring of your behaviour. If the accusations do have some authenticity you would of course be advised to clean up immediately and be grateful for a wake up call like this rather than an accident with your children in the car.

it such a authoritarian Society there.

Have you had problems with any of the parents at the school before?

I am not getting why sleeping in that car is out of order. Or anyone's business. Standard advice is not to drive when sleepy, pull over and have a nap.

How does the 20min nap fit into the narrative ?

[thinks wistfully of a nap]

I am guessing that you are sure that there was a mix up and it wasn't your nanny picking them up having had a glass at lunchtime? In which case I would want to know.

Is your nanny called Sharon?

I agree with BarbariansMum - it's good the school is following up concerns, you'd rather that, which shows they have your childrens safety as their number one priority, than not follow up potential concerns.

And as it wasn't true there's nothing to worry about, don't fuel any fire by trying to have a go at someone about it, just be polite with the school staff and leave it at that.

I think you should be focussing your energies on clearing up this misunderstanding, rather than trying to find the snitch.

Use the meeting to explain that neither you nor Nanny were under the influence of alcohol.
Unless there is some history, then I'd assume that whoever reported did so out of concern for your DC, rather than making trouble.

Snitches get stitches

I READ THE TITLE AND THOUGHT THIS WAS THE FISH-FINGER THIEVING DINNER LADY.

So disappointed now.

@peardrops1🤣

Keep calm, as hard as it is. Take someone with you who will also be calm. Speak to the nanny to be 100% sure as it sounds like no one really knows who picked your kids up that day.

Try not to worry. Just answer their questions, be open and honest and it should be a quick open and shut thing.

peardrops1 🤣🤣🤣