Must I do personal care for DH?

[nunnun]

About once a month my DH will tell me he's got cracked heels and will I stick a plaster on it for him because it's really sore and he can't walk. He also asks me to cut his toenails. It bugs me having to do this - I can't see why he can't do it himself but he says he can't because he's got a pacemaker and it digs in when he bends over. Well, that's bollocks because he's always asked me to do it even before he had the pacemaker fitted! He gets a bit nasty when I object to doing it. Should do it willingly and with a glad heart or WIBU to tell him to sort his own feet out?

Dh asked me to shave his back before our holidays. I did it once and told him it was disgusting and what’s why there are so many beauty therapists around. I will not do it again. Ever.

Wax is the way to go.

I have become disabled and my husband cuts my toe nails. He helps me on with my shoes when I'm struggling.

Not so long ago I was a runner and could do back flips. Shit happens to the best of us.

Invest in a Phillip's Lumea, Maybe, well worth it and Amazon do Black Friday offers on them.

Think you should trade favours a pedicure for a neck and shoulder massage

My DP has no mobility issues or problems reaching his toes but I'd cut his nails if he asked me to. Even more so if he was struggling. Why wouldn't I help the man I love?

Why on earth can’t he see to his own feet? I’ve just tried cutting my toenails sitting cross legged on the bed and bringing my foot up onto the opposite knee & I didn’t have to bend at all. Unless he’s 80 I don’t see why he can’t find a comfortable position like that & do it himself.

I don't like feet and can't even look at my husband's gross toes. However, he gives me foot rubs and cut my nails once when I was pregnant. I have extreme double standards
Obviously if he needed me to do it I would grit my teeth.

He needs to see a podiatrist once every 6 weeks which is what I do too! I love it. Beautiful feet all year round and it doesn't cost much. Hes a CF. Also there are mobile podiatrists/chiropodists (they are the same thing) so he doesn't even have to get his lazy ass out of his chair

My DH has diabetes so he needs to take care of his feet. He goes to the chiropodist.

I think 'hes allowed to ask and you're allowed to say no' covers it.

I cut my dh's hair for a long time. It was fine and quite fun for the first ten years but I came to hate doing it, and hated myself for hating doing it. Things changed and when I was the full time breadwinner, only healthy parent and all that I just found doing his hair as well was a chore. I think he found it quite a nice connection. I never minded doing his feet, but then he hardly ever asked, it was more like a special thing I did because I loved him and feet

What I'm trying to say is, I think it's ok to say, can we find another way of making this work?

I'd do it, no problem but a podiatrist would do it better. My husband used to go regularly, he was diabetic so it was important that he wasn't cut while trimming toenails.

Get your husband to rub some cream into his feet every day after shower. Someone earlier mentioned urea cream and that is good.

If he is capable of doing it himself then of course you shouldn’t have to do it for him. And he shouldn’t be ‘nasty’ if you don’t.

Purpleartichoke how do you deal with skin tags? Interested as I’ve got some and not sure what to do about them.

Put the toe nail clipping in his cup
of tea - the cheeky fucker

@wineandroses1 get this, it’s fantastic. But it is SO gross yet fascinating when they come off. Entirely painless

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Well him getting nasty when you refuse is out of line, but to be honest I would expect a married couple to be happy to do this sort of stuff for each other.

I think this comes under "for better or worse". If you hope to grow old with someone, there is a very high chance that you will end up providing personal care for them, or them for you. Quite shocked that some people wouldn't do this.

I would do it for my Husband if he needed me to, because I love him. End of.

Whatever happened to that "in sickness and heatlh" clause of the marridge vows i or has thatt gone out of the wndow now?.

I'd do that service for my wife if i was asked and hope she'd do the same for me, why shouln't we?..

My 7 year old cuts his own toenails and applys cream to his own cuts. I think that says alot. My DH husband annoys me alot by asking where the nail clippers are (they are always in the same place unless he has moved them) He needs to man up or you need to woman up and tell him where to go. Also my Dad with a pacemaker looks after himslef perfectly well all by himself.

Thanks ShirleyPhallus I shall give it a go!

I would do this for my DH ( If I had one). Surely looking after one another when sick is part of marriage? One day you might need him to wipe your bum for you.

NHS Podiatrist here :

I'll give you a Free Tip.
Put some cream on his heels . If he cannot do it , put some plastic gloves on , put the cream on the glove and put it on his heels .

Otherwise he'll get cracked heels which Pound-to-a-Penny will be a bugger to heal and might ulcerate .Which will put him at risk of long term infection and worse .

The nail cutting ? Maybe you don't want to . Fair enough, he can find a Private Podiatrist .

My job is to advice and treat. My job isn't to put cream on.

Though even if someone cannot reach themselves they can put a squidge on the top of the foot and rub the other foot across the top.

My mum’s 83, has a pacemaker and arthritis and she manages to cut her own toenails. Your husband is a lazy fucker.

Boom him in at chiropodist. Feet are funny.
My DH just said he would never ever wipe my bum though