To have to tell someone

[FairyDust92]

Not to reach in and touch my child! Happened yesterday and my son is 10 weeks we were out for lunch and the waiter bent down and stroked his face! I said 'please do not touch my child' she then continued to touch his legs so I said again 'don't touch my child'. She actually took offence to this but I don't think I should have to tell people not to touch him. I don't know who she is or where she has been and to touch his bloody face! Wtf. Maybe I am over reacting but I cannot stand people touching him that I don't know. What comes over them to think they can stroke someone else's baby... it's bloody weird! 🤬

When I had DS I seem to remember the advice from health visitor to be if anyone touches or holds baby they should only do so after washing hands or using sanitiser. I wasn't a fan of random strangers touching DS when he was a baby so I don't think YABU at all. The rudeness on this board is shocking, you do whatever you feel is right for your child OP, you don't need to get it validated or justified here. If someone says "please don't touch my child" and the person continue to do so then they are in the wrong full stop! People should respect your wishes and honour your boundaries.

@NoSauce yeah of course they wash their hands... I'm there I can see that... it's not like I leave my 10 week old son with them is it 😂

@YouAreTheEggManIAmTheWalrus exactly this. To tell me I was rude then continue to abuse me is a bit of double standards at its finest. Don't see how anyone has the right to abuse a complete stranger but that's mumsnet at its finest.

Euromillsplz

@Greywalls12*

Some of you precious princesses beggar belief.

Ain’t that the truth.

You were rude to that member of staff, OP. As a previous poster suggested, the person who as probably just urging on a nice - as she thought - show. How charming of you to treat her in that way.
Ftr, not everyone posting here would be interested in touching your precious baby. However, we do know that those doing just that are being sweet in the most non threatening way. Dear me.

...putting on a nice

Just because someone wants to touch a baby in a nice way, why should that override what the mother wants? If I don’t know where your hands have been then don’t touch my kid. Fs kids have rubbish immune systems and don’t need crap from people’s hands all over them. If you want to touch people’s babies so often then maybe carry around some hand sanitiser? I would make people use the red bottle of hospital stuff before touching my kid (in fairness though mine has health issues and even we would use it before touching her.)

Never get a puppy

Lol, I judge people who don't touch my pup! She's the cutest.

I can understand why you don’t like people (strangers) touching your baby OP, I had a prem baby and asked people, even family, to wash hands before holding her. Some people were offended by this but I simply explained that it wasn’t about them being ‘dirty’ but about her being vulnerable.
I think maybe the way you responded may have come across as rude (the lady should have stopped after the first time you asked her!) perhaps think of a one-liner you can say that warns people not to touch, but is a bit more light-hearted? Perhaps something like “I'm a little worried about germs, so I'd prefer you look, but not touch." Say it with a smile so the other person knows you're not just being mean. But if they persist like this lady did then, lay down the law: "I'm not comfortable with people touching my child, so please don't do it.”

If you're so sure you're correct ('it's my right'), not sure why you're posting on here?

Sounds like the waiter was just being friendly and you behaved rudely.

Don't call my baby precious in the way you did

As a parent, you need to grow a thicker skin.

Never had this issue.. Also never had the need to touch other peoples babies. Coo over the baby sure but I'd never touch someone else's child, I don't know them and I think this is a boundary.

It's a bit off to me you asked her not to once and she did it again, maybe you were rude but to do it after you asked not to what else but maybe phrase it better that you're afraid of germs?

Another topic cant you get those signs, "don't touch baby" ? Think you need to invest in one

yeah you’re weird

I don't know who she is or where she has been

In the kitchen, touching the plates you're eating off

I work in a maternity unit and I really can’t help reaching out and stroking a little newborn soft cheek. Is it different when it’s staff?! (Genuine question because now I feel bad for doing it!)

You sound like the perfect person to work in maternity.

OP

In some parts of the country people put coins in baby's hands

@Euromillsplz yes i absolutely did and i would do it again. I had NEVER met this woman, she didn't even say hello to me, just walked up to me and tried to take my baby out of my arms. I don't care if i was rude

YANBU at all! I hated people touching my daughter when she was small, don't particularly like it now she's nearly 2. You don't know where their hands have been, what they might have bugwise. Better to be rude and safe than polite and sorry.

I think your reaction was completely rude and OTT. I actually completely understand the feeling, as I felt the same way, but I realized that it was rude to react that way so I didn't. I'm all for standing your ground to protect your child from harm, don't get me wrong, but if you're not worried about taking him/her out in public places where germs are everywhere, then thinking they are in some sort of extra danger from a leg touch or a stroke on the cheek, is kind of being unreasonable. It's not like she licked his face or wiped her nose on him. I personally wouldn't touch a baby I didn't know, but if I saw that encounter, I'd be left with the impression that you were incredibly rude.

easyandy101

I don't know who she is or where she has been

In the kitchen, touching the plates you're eating off

I imagine the chefs have to touch the plates you are going to touch, too, OP. Shocker. Then the waiting staff have to touch them and then YOU have to touch them. It’s the way dining works. Usually.

How annoying to have missed the deleted post. Grrrr

OP: AIBU?
Everyone: Yep
OP: No I’m not ☺️

You were needlessly rude and nasty to the woman who clearly meant no harm. You’d have hated me when I worked in a pub; I cuddled many a baby so the parents could enjoy their meals hot!

I can never understand the need to ask
AIBU and then not to accept that some other people have different views. If you don’t want to hear those views there is a solution: don’t ask. It’s quite simple.

Agree hate it, some random old lady kissed my toddler on the head the other day wtf like keep ur hands and mouth to yourself thank you.

Iv also noticed the Italian Mama waitresses pick up and walk off with babies happened to me twice now, they think they are helping but it's very unsettling.