To have to tell someone

[FairyDust92]

Not to reach in and touch my child! Happened yesterday and my son is 10 weeks we were out for lunch and the waiter bent down and stroked his face! I said 'please do not touch my child' she then continued to touch his legs so I said again 'don't touch my child'. She actually took offence to this but I don't think I should have to tell people not to touch him. I don't know who she is or where she has been and to touch his bloody face! Wtf. Maybe I am over reacting but I cannot stand people touching him that I don't know. What comes over them to think they can stroke someone else's baby... it's bloody weird! 🤬

Just popping back to let you all know that boots are offering four advantage card points for every pound you spend on cotton wool.

Oh yeyy another
AIBU?
Yes
No I’m not

My favourites.

Ps yabu 😂

I think you were really rather rude op. The type of people who instinctively reach out to babies and children are usually the type who adore them and would do no harm. I love to eat in Europe where the staff cannot do enough for children.

I don't think you're unreasonable at all. I have growled at grabby strangers before. It's not in any way precious to protect your kids from strangers or their germs. You never know what they might be carrying.

Seemingly fine old lady gave my first born a cold that ended up with numerous hospital visits and a baby who could barely eat or sleep through vomiting and choking on mucus. She lost a tonne of weight and was inconsolable until she was limp. Very scary few months getting her back to good health in and out of hospital. She was 6 weeks old at the time and the virus didn't go until she was 4 and a half months old.

Why on Earth is it acceptable to appease your baby rabies on strangers infants.

@CarolDanvers

All you baby touchers out there.

You are being a bit presumptuous. Where did I say I like touching babies? I don’t.
HTH

OP I agree it's not acceptable. Also I used to hate it when people touched my stomach when pregnant....my boss did it alot

@Butttons

And a siblings snotty germs are totally different to a stranger's coffee dregs, toothpicks and cake crumbs hmm

Yes indeed. They are infinitely more revolting.

Quite frankly who gives a shit about what other people think, do what is best for you and what your happy with. I think its damn rude to just be touching another persons baby unless you ask first. Seriously, WTH!

My sisters MIL kept putting her finger to my nephew's mouth and she has a chronic cough and would cough all over him too, he was constantly falling ill, the amount of times my sister would tell her to stop but she wouldn't. Its disgusting.

OP I don't think your being unreasonable at all.

I have no interest in other people’s babies but to pretend I do I’ve always stroked them on the head or elsewhere including hands. I thought it was expected of me! And now I’m SO confused...

Yep, you’re definitely crazy (and completely unreasonable)

You are being a bit presumptuous. Where did I say I like touching babies? I don’t.
HTH

I can't seem to see where I addressed my post to you individually...

Mumsnet is full of people who love to accuse each other of being "precious" over perfectly normal and reasonable concerns.

In the real world, most people don't really like strangers touching their kids and this is not an unreasonable stance to take.

Of course yanbu, it's your baby

I'd never reach out and touch a baby I didn't know

Don’t go on holiday to Spain or Italy!

06selavy
... Seriously????

YANBU
don't touch my baby you random stranger ffs

@EustaciaPieface same!

Op I agree with you.

I hated it with dd1 (now 6) and now with dd2 (7 months)

There is no need for strangers to touch my child. You wouldn't randomly go up to a teenager out with their parents and grsd their cheek and legs so back off my children.

I find it so rude as it always seems to happen while I'm in a rush at supermarket or trying to do the school run.

YANBU. I don’t like randoms touching me. So why should they touch my child? Because THEY want to is not a good enough reason. Adults can’t just do whatever they want to children because they want to. My child can’t say no so as his mother it’s my job to say it for him.

I agree with you. Used to totally freak me out. Especially random doctors sticking their fingers in my babies mouth. Urgh.

I think you're right to set the boundaries for your child that you see fit. People do automatically touch babies and there's something traditional in it - like you're welcoming a new life to the world and indicating that you mean it no harm. It's like a collective nurture thing and it can help cheer people up, but there's no reason why you should go with this. Your instinct was to ask for the waitress not to touch your child and you acted on it clearly. She should have respected your wishes and not persisted. Early motherhood's a vulnerable time and it's important for new mother's wishes to be listened to and respected. Keep doing what you think's right for your little one.

I don’t let random strangers touch even my dog or horse!

Once you’d asked her to stop and she carried on, I think she was extremely unreasonable to carry on touching his legs. The mum has said no, now fuck off. It is nobody’s right to touch someone else’s baby.

Why are people saying the OP was rude? She said ‘please don’t touch my child’ which is polite, but the waitress did it again so the OP said again ‘don’t touch my child’. How is that rude in any way? If anything the waitress was being rude by ignoring the first polite request by touching the baby again. I agree with the OP, strangers should not touch other people’s babies and fair play to the OP for saying something!

Jesus Christ, the people on here!!!

Yes it's perfectly fine to coo and smile at strangers babies, I do this and try to distract a fussy baby and child with funny faces etc.

It is NOT fine to just go up and touch a stranger's baby or child without asking, and especially NOT Okay to continue to touch said baby when asked not to.

OP you were right to ask the waitress to stop stroking your baby and please never hesitate to tell strangers, or indeed people you know to not touch your child if you don't want them to.

Thank you for the kinder responses and I don't mean the ones agreeing with me. The ones that haven't called me crazy or arrogant. Also don't like the term PFB all children are precious.
Definitely posted in the wrong board (noted if I post again). Thanks for the reassurance as started to doubt my reaction but just trying to do what's best for my son. Thank you to the kinder people on here x