To have to tell someone

[FairyDust92]

Not to reach in and touch my child! Happened yesterday and my son is 10 weeks we were out for lunch and the waiter bent down and stroked his face! I said 'please do not touch my child' she then continued to touch his legs so I said again 'don't touch my child'. She actually took offence to this but I don't think I should have to tell people not to touch him. I don't know who she is or where she has been and to touch his bloody face! Wtf. Maybe I am over reacting but I cannot stand people touching him that I don't know. What comes over them to think they can stroke someone else's baby... it's bloody weird! 🤬

I'm with the OP. You shouldn't touch a stranger's baby on the face fgs! What an odd thing to do. You shouldn't touch new baby's hands or faces without washing your hands anyway. Simple. I hate when people touch my baby's face and she doesn't like it much either! It's not a first time mum thing - I have 2 kids.

If I think a waiter is so germ ridden they shouldn’t touch a baby, I would be thinking twice about having them serve me food.

YABU and were unnecessarily rude.

You'd have hated a waitress I used to work with, she loves babies and always wanted to cuddle them, we were forever having to tell her to put the customer's baby down and get on with her job

YANBU I feel the same. Its weird.

You could've maybe told the waitress off more politely but then again-she could've asked you politely if she could touch a baby first so don't think you see being unreasonable 💁‍♀️ end of the day, it is your baby!

I used to be a waitress in a very busy Gastro pub that was packed with young families who used to love the fact the myself and my fellow colleagues were so good with children. I lost count of the new babies I held and coo'd over. We used to offer to hold babies too whilst they ate and were mostly taken up on the offer.
I can't remember a single occasion where anyone told me/us not to touch their child and I would have been upset if someone if someone did. However, I didn't go straight in without asking 'may I?' first and I would go for the tummy or little foot not the face.

Most people are naturally affectionate towards young babies and that's a nice thing but it's your baby and it's up to you what you allow. The waiter probably did it because most customers have never had a problem with it.

YNBU in not wanting a stranger to touch your baby but I think the way you relayed that to the waiter was rude.

You're not rude, you're not hard work, you're not weird. You're perfectly normal.

All you baby touchers out there. Why are you so entitled? People probably are hating you touching their babies but feel like they have to be polite to you. Stop making people feel uncomfortable by touching their babies when they don't want you to.

I think you're completely normal. I would not grope a stranger regardless of their age. It's creepy.

Two people I know kept stroking my baby bump. It made me shudder but I didn't say anything for fear of offending. Looking back I probably should have done as why should I have been made to feel uncomfortable? If it was a stranger I would have run a mile.

I now have a baby a similar age to yours and fortunately, although many strangers have said 'ooh what a sweet baby' etc, none have felt the need to touch. Perhaps it's not so much of a thing round here.

Grope

Not sure what's so risky about touching a baby's leg? And no, it's not comparable to touching an adult's leg or even an older child's leg.

I think it's different if strangers ask if they can touch/stroke/cuddle a baby. That at least respects boundaries. IMO it also depends on the age of the baby. I was lot more protective of my DC when they were really little. By the time they're closer to 1 everything they find is going straight in their mouths. Their immune system is that little bit more sophisticated to deal with that. Toddlers NEED to be exposed to germs, newborns not so much.

Wow you were rude

You do not have to explain yourself to anyone! Your baby your rules. Seeing as the lady was working, she could have had anything on her hands that your little one maybe allergic to. Keep on doing what you think is best and sod everyone and their opinion. Xx

Bloody hell

YANBU OP. I used to hate people touching my babies. Of course there is no malice involved, but even so, they shouldn't do it. Talk to babies but keep your hands to yourself.

Ah, I think this is sweet. It's the embodiment of pfb behaviour.

Seriously op, you need to try to take a deep breath and be rational. Parenthood is a long road. It's for the rest of your life. If you get this het up over the small shit, trust me life will be much harder than it needs to be. 💐

For all you know the waiter had just been wiping the table with a dirty wash cloth before touching your baby.

LOL - just wait till you have DC2 when DC1 is a toddler and has a continuous stream of snot from both nostrils, which he spreads all over the baby every time he pokes cuddles her.

It might be normal to be so pfb in the parallel universe of mumsnet but in the real world touching a baby is not akin to groping someone.

Therapy.

YABU the person was just being nice and gentle with the baby. Lots of people like babies op.

You were very rude and arrogant.

Cotton wool! Get your cotton wool here...

*For all you know the waiter had just been wiping the table with a dirty wash cloth before touching your baby.

LOL - just wait till you have DC2 when DC1 is a toddler and has a continuous stream of snot from both nostrils, which he spreads all over the baby every time he pokes cuddles her.*

The OP does not have a toddler.

And a siblings snotty germs are totally different to a stranger's coffee dregs, toothpicks and cake crumbs

YANBU you asked her nicely not to touch your baby and she did it again! I can’t believe the responses you are getting on here. And I really hate the pfb comments. It’s so demeaning. It’s not precious to not want a stranger to touch your child and it’s not precious to ask them nicely the first time and then get cross the second time.

I hated people touching my babies (Newborn twins attracted a lot of attention). I certainly didn’t mind people looking at them, but touching them was not ok. I wasn’t precious or rude, but I didn’t want strangers touching them. I could blame it on the fact they were prem and underweight, but it just made me feel uncomfortable. And that is a good enough reason to not want a stranger to touch your child.

In any other situation it wouldn’t be questioned, but when you are a new mother, suddenly you are precious and crazy when you politely ask someone not to touch.

This website will do nothing to alleviate your PFB anxieties OP. It will feed them. Take it from someone who knows 🙄

Whover said it's ok because "People love to touch babies, their skin is soft"

So??

Doesn't mean you've got a right to TOUCH THEM!

Where's the cut off? Can you touch a 2 year old because it's cute?

No. You cannot.

I used to be scared to say "Please dont" and then one day, an older woman in the supermarket approached my pram and sort of balled up her fist and drove it towards DD's face.

That was when I found my voice.

It's basic instinct to keep strangers away from babies for GOOD REASON.